Kids Today my 5 year old asked me "why does no one want to marry you?".... - FML

Anne - 23/03/2016 14:12 - United Kingdom - Warrington

Today my 5 year old asked me "why does no one want to marry you?". FML.

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

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Today, I was grounded by my mom because I had slept in past 11, when she wanted me to wake up at seven to do chores. According to her logic, I should have seen the note she left on the counter earlier this morning. FML

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Today, I visited my dad. He gave the, "You live under my roof, you follow my rules" lecture since I didn't do my "chores". I moved out 3 years ago. FML

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Today, a homeless man tried to sell me a "magic, one-finger glove". It was a used condom. FML

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Today, I went to a store to buy some noodles, but they were out, so I left empty handed. When I left, the store the alarm went off so I was called back in, and they searched my bag. They didn't find any stolen goods. They did find a dead mouse my cat must have left for me, though. FML

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Today, I landed in Hawaii for my vacation. I have a really bad ear infection, and to top my day off, my girlfriend blurted out mid-flight that she thinks we're not going to work out. Aloha! FML

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Today, while visiting my grandparents, I was afraid that one of their many cats would pee on me. I was peed on all right, by my grandma. FML

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