Miscellaneous Today, in class, I closed my eyes for a split second, and when... - FML

why - 09/02/2016 22:51 - Canada - Toronto

Today, in class, I closed my eyes for a split second, and when I opened them, my teacher's butt was in my face. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Awkward Pokémon Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, and for the last week of job training, I’ve listened to my new boss go on about how we care about our customers and want to engage with our community, even though at the end of every workday I watch him empty the complaints boxes straight into recycling, without reading a single one. FML

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Today, and for the past few days, there is a musical box stuck somewhere in my attic that randomly plays Christmas songs. FML

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Today, I can tell that my cat comes from a household were there was not much cleaning being done: The vacuum is a monster to be fled from, while the mop and the lint brush, as well as any cleaning rag, are brazen intruders to be vanquished. FML

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Today, my house got robbed. They left a note: "Next time, we steal your souls." FML

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Today, my seemingly normal girlfriend decided to erase every girl's name out of my phone. Family and all. FML

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Today, I went to the mall and had to parallel park. It took me 10 to 12 minutes of maneuvering before I got into the slot. When I turned off the car and got out, there were 8 people laughing hysterically and clapping for me. FML

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