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This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.
By Itadakimassachusetts - 09/03/2016 01:11 - United States - Mclean
Today, I was using a peeled carrot to masturbate when my conservative dad came home. I managed to pull out the carrot just before he walked into my room and started eating it in panic so he wouldn't get suspicious. He stood there and talked to me while I ate the entire thing. FML