ineedbrainbleach - 17/03/2016 14:42 - United Kingdom Today, I was sent a dick pic... from my father-in-law. FML. 1 0
Today, I bought myself a Crumbl cookie as a treat for losing 20lbs. Upon seeing it, my mom screamed at me for cheating on my diet and how I was going to "gain all the weight back" and insisted she eat some of it to "help me out." She left behind a tiny morsel of the cookie with a chocolate chip chunk. FML 458 146
Today, I met my husband's coworkers, one of whom told us about how he shot pigs from a helicopter. My husband thought it was awesome. I started crying. That's just cruel. FML 362 345
Today, while I was putting up Christmas lights, my younger brother wouldn't stop pestering me. It seems he hadn't forgotten the time I gave myself an electric shock last year, and he wanted to see if I'd do it again. FML 25 227 3 582
Today, I found tiny little maggots in the bristles of my toothbrush. I have no idea how long they've been there. FML 45 742 8 818
Today, thinking he was being so hilarious, my friend slipped me enough laxatives to make a horse shit its intestines out. I haven't been able to move from the toilet for over an hour. FML 35 030 2 897
Today, I finally got prescribed something for my skin problems. The good news: It works really well. The bad news: When the doctor said one of the potential side effects was a "horrible rash," she really meant it when she said, "horrible." I swear to God, I was about to rip my chest open, due to it itching so hard. FML 697 103