Eyeburn - 09/02/2016 08:03 - Singapore - Singapore Today, I accidentally rubbed my eyes after slicing jalapenos. FML. 0 0
Today, I finally went to the DMV to replace my lost license. After waiting for almost two hours, I casually rummaged through my purse. Something strange inside the lining caught my eye. It was my license. FML 10 699 27 309
Today, my brother spent the whole day making a harpoon out of an old Tiki torch to bring on vacation with us to Sauble Beach, and he plans on using this contraption. On the beach. With all of us there to watch. He's 17 years-old. FML 1 284 222
Today, I had to drive to my workplace in blizzard conditions. Now that my 12 hour shift is over, I can't get out of the building, as the snow has blown into large drifts in front of the doors. I have to stay overnight until my next 12 hour shift. FML 36 798 2 626
Today, during an argument with my daughter, she screamed, "Everyone hates you!" and stormed off. I flopped down on the couch in frustration, where the cat jumped on my lap. "You love me, don't you?" I asked the cat. She crapped on my leg and went to my daughter's room. FML 42 371 6 854
Today, my girlfriend launched her own business. I was recently laid off from my job, so I offered to be her very first employee. I now have the glamorous job of bleaching people's assholes. FML 21 938 6 982
Today, I had to take my son to the ER after he badly messed up trying to light his farts on fire. FML 23 652 3 074