Today, my girlfriend and I were having sexy time on my bed when...

This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By "RaisinCake" - 11/12/2018 09:33 - United States - Orem

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sexy time on my bed when things led to where I was about to lose my virginity, but I got nervous and then slightly soft and couldn't get it in. At least I know I have magic fingers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49

You deserved it 9

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TMI Work Gross Coworkers Racism Kids Scary Customers Technology Geek Gamers Miscellaneous Neighbours Health Animals Insects Insurance Plumbing Awkward Money AITA Love Roommate Cheating Pregnancy Wanker Mental health Intimacy Poopoo peepee Parents

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Today, I found an old Bible in a box of my boyfriend's stuff. I despise religion, so I threw it away. He freaked out when he found out, screaming that it was a "family heirloom". I don't care if vile, hateful trash is an heirloom or not, I'm going to get rid of it. Deal with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80

You deserved it 2 144

Today, someone left a used condom under the windshield wiper of my car. I didn't notice it until I was driving. And it was raining. It was even tied, so the contents couldn't leak out. I'm not planning artificial insemination anytime soon, but thanks for the thought. Man, I love college. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 782

You deserved it 3 096

The Top

Today, I found out that my boyfriend was cheating on me. But not to worry, he said she's only in town for a week then he's done with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 274

You deserved it 4 555

Today, like the rest of the past year, I had to hear my roommate as he works as tech support from home. The man does not have an "inside voice" but echoes across multiple floors like a tuba, as he debugs people's software issues over the phone. Talking to him about it only makes him angry… and louder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 774

You deserved it 78

Today, I went to the local street fair and ran into my boyfriend of five years. He was with his girlfriend of ten years. We both had no idea about each other. His family knew we both existed, and never said a word. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 616

You deserved it 121

Today, I was on webcam with my boyfriend. A while later I forgot about it and started digging my nose vigorously. He then beeped me and said "Digging for gold, dear? " FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 774

You deserved it 59 721

Today, my dad is disappointed in me because I came to him for advice on how I should tell my girlfriend I don’t feel ready for sex yet. He just looked at me, shook his head, and walked away. Later he sent my mom to ask me if I’m gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 196

You deserved it 398

Today, I got into a fight with my mom over the chores, and stormed out. When I returned later, I found the house had been egged. My mom told my dad she saw me do it, and he won't believe my side of the story. He says I'll be lucky if I see sunlight this summer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 877

You deserved it 4 492