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By Anonymous - 23/11/2020 11:02

Today, after discovering my grown-up kids have sent poop pictures to each other since they were teenagers, I had an epic poop that looked like a question mark. So I finally lowered myself to their level and sent a picture of it to them. It got sent to my boss by accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 339

You deserved it 1 682

Out of the frying pan…

By Anonymous - 08/02/2023 06:00

Today, I took a day off to read a book, but ended up with a headache from staring at a screen all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 339

You deserved it 655

Don't harsh our buzz, filthy human

By Ubehage - 06/01/2023 03:00 - Denmark

Today, I bought a huge 1kg bag of catnip and told the delivery driver to just leave the package inside the door. They then left me a soft plastic bag full of catnip. Guess who came home to two stoned cats and a messed up house… FML

I agree, your life sucks 339

You deserved it 1 119

Bad boy

By Anonymous - 17/06/2024 12:00 - Australia

Today, I came home to find my dog had not only shredded my favorite couch cushion but had also attempted to eat the TV remote. I have no idea how to change the channel manually. It looks like I'll be watching Animal Planet forever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 339

You deserved it 237

PSA: Don't be this guy

By Ih8ungratefulb - 23/04/2023 00:00

Today, I confessed my feelings to the love of my life. She laughed and said, “Nah, you’re like a brother to me, I can’t see you that way.” This after I drained my wallet for her birthday, brought her flowers and comforted her when her dog passed away, and fixed her car every time it broke down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 339

You deserved it 1 792

Everyone does

By Anonymous - 31/07/2022 02:00

Today, I thought a spider had fallen on me, so I wounded up accidentally punching myself. Twice. I hate nose bleeds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 339

You deserved it 700

Brainrot

By Tired mom - 18/10/2025 00:00

Today, I came home from work to a shouting match between my husband and my teenage son. What were they so riled up about? I'm still not quite sure. Something about the podcaster who was shot recently, and whether his wife is now "grifting" or not. I actually used the phrase, "Go outside and touch grass." FML

I agree, your life sucks 339

You deserved it 96

Par for the course

By Anonymous - 11/10/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, I carried my golf bag from the club house to my car. When I got there, my rear pocket got caught in a zipper on the bag. I couldn't get them separated. I had to take my pants off to fix it. Yes, three couples walked by, pretending not to notice. Had it not happened to me, I would not believe this story. FML

I agree, your life sucks 339

You deserved it 110

Spice up your sound

By Anonymous - 24/10/2022 18:00

Today, I was at lunch in a Mexican place and my earbud started to slip from my ear. No big deal, I moved my hand to catch it. Catch it in the open tortilla I just spread guacamole and sour cream on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 339

You deserved it 744

Banger tune!

By not the poop - 08/02/2026 00:00

Today, yet again, whenever I try to put on music in the car, my son starts chanting, "Poop! Poop! Poop!" to the tune of whatever I put on. It's been almost six months and it's driving me fucking crazy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 339

You deserved it 114

Spooked

By Anonymous - 20/10/2024 11:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was trying to sleep when I saw a head looming from the darkness with no eyes and a mouth open like a silent scream. I just froze and pissed myself. It was my daughter wanting to cuddle with us. Alas, the bed was wet, so she got put back in her bed, while we had to share the sofa downstairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 339

You deserved it 279

That line is a cheesy cliché, so use it wisely

By Giden - 18/07/2022 14:00

Today, I was at a party and saw this girl who used to be overweight. She'd lost a significant amount of weight and looked so good, I went to chat her up. She immediately told me to get lost. According to her, if I "didn’t appreciate her at her worst, I don’t deserve her at her best." FML

I agree, your life sucks 339

You deserved it 2 922

Take your time

By Kitty - 08/08/2021 09:59 - United States - Johnston

Today, thinking I could carry it all, I stubbornly brought a load of food in with both hands. The glass jar of nacho cheese smashed on my radiator, and I had to use a toothbrush to clean between the cracks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 339

You deserved it 892

I’ve lost enough IQ points that I think IQ is real

By My friend is not Einstein - 13/03/2024 18:00 - United States

Today, I was talking with a friend and somehow the topic of Albert Einstein popped up. He started referring to Einstein as American and I laughed. I then realized he was serious. My IQ has dropped even further from Einstein's as a result of this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 339

You deserved it 198

Well rested

By Anonymous - 27/06/2025 00:00 - Switzerland - Zurich

Today, after a long airplane trip, I arrived at a hotel hoping to get some rest at last. At around 2 AM, my older daughter (13) suddenly got up to start yelling things while sleepwalking. My younger daughter (4) slept all night peacefully, but I realized she had forgotten to put on her nighttime diaper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 339

You deserved it 162

No comprendo

By Anonymous - 26/02/2023 16:00

Today, I got lost in a foreign city while on vacation and couldn't communicate with anyone, because I didn't speak the language and no one seemed to be able, or even wanted, to speak to me in mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 339

You deserved it 1 016

Vote of confidence

By CrematedOrMoppedUp - 23/11/2024 06:00 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, I learnt that I could be happy and free from the negative emotions brought on by my ongoing clashes with my fiancée. All it took were some tears in front of my mum for her to assure me that it's okay to be alone and single, and to do whatever is best for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 339

You deserved it 205

Dumdum moment

By Shawn Kotris - 25/04/2021 21:30

Today, after my car died a mile from my house, I huffed, puffed and pushed it back to my house off the street, so I wouldn't get a ticket overnight. After getting it towed to the shop in the morning, I got a call telling me they put gas in it for me and it starts up fine now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 339

You deserved it 2 235

You OK in there?

By Anonymous - 22/06/2025 00:00 - Ireland

Today, I went to the bathroom at a friend’s house, used the toilet paper, and realized there was none left on the roll. I grabbed a replacement pack but it was all the way on the top shelf that was too high for me. I stood on tiptoes, balancing precariously on the toilet lid when it suddenly flipped down, knocking me off, and splashing pisswater everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 339

You deserved it 201

Oddly specific

By RowerBud - 02/07/2021 02:01 - United States - Cleveland

Today, I realized I masturbate too much when I got turned on by the smell of my shampoo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 339

You deserved it 958

Been there

By Anonymous - 10/01/2024 08:00 - Portugal

Today, I'm in love with my friend, and he's in love with me. The problem? We're both married to other people. We're not acting on it and we're going to do the right thing, which is letting it go, but my heart is broken in a million pieces right now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 339

You deserved it 640

Five second rule

By Sore - 04/03/2025 17:00 - United States

Today, I tried to get a Chloraseptic tablet for my sore throat. As soon as I put it in my mouth, I got the urge to sneeze. When I sneezed, the force of the sneeze caused me to accidentally spit it out… right into the trash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 338

You deserved it 104

Nervous

By Z…… - 08/05/2025 04:00 - China

Today, I went to the hospital for constant dizziness and insomnia, and was diagnosed with anxiety. I figured out that the main source of my anxiety is not my job but my boyfriend, who has avoidant personality, which makes him constantly refuse almost everything that I request. He's a guy who just doesn't know how to show his love. FML

I agree, your life sucks 338

You deserved it 222

Get your facts straight

By Anonymous - 21/01/2026 09:00

Today, while drunk, my brother got on my computer onto my already logged in Wikipedia account and made a few bad edits. He got me reported for vandalism, sending abusive messages to other editors, and banned from editing, pending appeal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 338

You deserved it 151

Carded

By Anonymous - 09/02/2026 03:00

Today, I bought an expansion to a card game, only to compare the card backs and realize I've owned a fake copy of the card game for two years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 338

You deserved it 103

BBUK 2024

By Pete - 17/11/2024 09:00 - United Kingdom - Swindon

Today, I had managed to avoid any mention of who won Big Brother because I couldn't watch it live, and I had planned to watch it on replay tonight. All was going to plan until my arsehole brother sent me a text that simply said, "Spoiler alert: Ali won." FML

I agree, your life sucks 338

You deserved it 208

You're a natural

By Blackout at The Gym - 27/11/2020 14:08 - United States - Charlotte

Today, I had a great leg workout at the gym. Instead of doing my cool down exercise at the end, I decided I wanted to do something more adventurous, like box jumps on one of those metal stools at the gym. Well, it turns out my body wasn’t ready for that. Now my shin is busted and swollen. This is my second week training. FML

I agree, your life sucks 338

You deserved it 1 079

False advertising

By Anonymous - 25/04/2025 03:00 - Germany - Buchholz in der Nordheide

Today, after I bought what were labeled as “8 Pink Tulips” and planting the bulbs, they turned out to be 6 whites and 2 reds. Well, I guess if you’re talking mathematical average, that counts as pink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 338

You deserved it 83

Don't worry, we don't snitch here!

By Anonymous - 22/08/2025 21:00 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, my so-called friend snitched to the teachers that I was the admin of the school confessions page and I got scolded after school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 338

You deserved it 145

Everyone's a critic

By Anonymous - 11/03/2023 20:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, I sent a love letter I'd written meant for my crush to a friend so she could evaluate my prose before I actually sent it to him. For some reason, my emotions got the best of me, and I mistakenly CC'd my mom. She replied with three crying-with-laughter emojis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 338

You deserved it 798

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The Top

Today, I seriously considered writing in SCP-106 for president. I hate both candidates so much, I would willingly take President Radical Larry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 431

You deserved it 800

Today, I discovered that I have developed an allergy to salt water on my face. Now, every time I sweat or cry, I come up in a bright red rash. I am allergic to my own bodily fluids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 877

You deserved it 3 611

Today, I found out that my long-distance boyfriend just got married because his "real" girlfriend is pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 278

You deserved it 491

Today, my wife is mad at me because she claims I don’t spend any time bonding with her son. It’s as though she refuses to understand that just because we are in different rooms, on separate PlayStations, doesn’t mean we’re not playing the same game, and talking through headphones for hours at a time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 140

You deserved it 227

Today, my fiancé/son’s father’s death anniversary is in a few days. I asked my closest friends if they’d hang with me so I could try and keep my mind off it, and so I wouldn’t be alone (my son will be with fiancé’s parents). They couldn’t be bothered and want to go away for the weekend instead. Without me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 257

You deserved it 164

Today, for my birthday, my husband gave me a dress he stole from my wardrobe. It was the one I'd bought myself on my last birthday because he forgot to buy me anything, and gave me cash in a brown envelope. Not a birthday card, a brown envelope. FML

I agree, your life sucks 554

You deserved it 113