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The all-time greatest FMLs

Sabotage

By Anonymous - 08/01/2024 23:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that my ex tries to ruin my dates, and constantly asks our friend about me and why I don’t talk to her. She broke up with me over text because of the distance between us, after ghosting me for two weeks. We both knew that it would be a long-distance relationship due to her going to uni. FML

I agree, your life sucks 510

You deserved it 105

By jaivolétonnez - 17/06/2015 05:54 - France - La Courneuve

Today, in a train, I did the old "I've got your nose" trick for a kid. He got off at the next stop, then waved something at me from the platform, then yelled, "I've got your keys!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 510

You deserved it 143

Cancel culture

By Anonymous - 17/12/2023 17:00 - United States

Today, I found out that my insurance canceled my contract, claiming I hadn't paid, even though I had. I only discovered this because I backed into a car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 510

You deserved it 121

Corruption, corruption everywhere

By Anonymous - 15/03/2025 12:00 - Czechia

Today, a student told me to "F*** off!" I reported it to my boss and the student's parent, who is also a teacher at the school. My boss deemed it a minor issue and said we wouldn't be following discipline policy. Now, my boss frequently visits my classroom to bully me, likely due to the two of them being drinking buddies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 510

You deserved it 92

Mind your own beeswax

By Anonymous - 22/08/2020 17:02

Today, I saw an employee showing off a picture on his phone. I couldn't quite see what it was and tried to inject myself in to the conversation. "Whatcha got there, a cow?" It wasn't. It was a photo of his wife, posing in her wedding dress for the first time since their wedding day several years and children ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 510

You deserved it 2 926

Priorities

By Anonymous - 01/01/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, I'm 23 and have never had a weekend or holiday off of working in my life. My requests are always denied. I've been through three jobs since high school. I understand that some workers have to look after family or kids, but he 19 year-olds, who have way more time than I do, always get it their way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 510

You deserved it 145

#GirlBoss

By What the fuck - 06/06/2025 18:00 - United States - New York

Today, I caught my underage daughter selling naked pictures to internet sickos. Trying to stay calm, I asked her why. She said, "Should I go work at McDonald's for pennies? I've made over twelve grand in three months selling pictures of my tits." FML

I agree, your life sucks 510

You deserved it 140

Don't know, don't care

By Anonymous - 02/09/2024 13:00 - United States - Portland

Today, I was in a car accident. When I came home, I told my mom. She just got angry with me, blamed me for it, and didn't even ask if I was OK. FML

I agree, your life sucks 510

You deserved it 97

There goes the neighborhood…

By Anonymous - 21/01/2025 02:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my boss, a true knobhead, bought the house next door to mine. Now not only does he ruin my life at work, I might have to see him and talk to him when I’m not at work as well. He once sent me home from work because he said my red tie clashed with my suit and made me look unprofessional. FML

I agree, your life sucks 510

You deserved it 83

Possession

By Katelyn_Louise - 01/05/2021 10:01 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, someone left their drug bag on the table in the lounge at my place, probably a friend, and probably a mistake. The next minute the cops knock on the door and force their way in. Immediately the cop spots the drug bag and cuffs me. It wasn't even my bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 510

You deserved it 879

Bad omen

By Anonymous - 10/10/2024 16:00 - United Kingdom - Bath

Today, I found out that my landlord had been showing my apartment to new tenants without telling me, when I woke up this morning to a family of four staring at me scratching my nuts whilst watching TV on my couch in my pajamas, horrified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 510

You deserved it 67

This is not good parenting

By Anonymous - 23/09/2024 06:00 - Canada

Today, and for the past week, I've been incredibly on edge because apparently my dad is kicking me out but I don't know when, and my mom has told me I'm not allowed to tell anyone. She then got mad at me because I did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 509

You deserved it 93

This means war

By Anonymous - 24/12/2023 16:00 - United States - New York

Today, after I spent the evening at a girl's house that I'm seeing, I woke in the morning and put my pants on to leave, only to have her dog's poop roll out of the leg of my pants. This wouldn't be so bad if last week the same dog hadn't left the same treat right where I step when getting out of bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 509

You deserved it 157

Risky

By Josh - 13/10/2023 16:00 - United States

Today, I thought it would be fun to join my friends for a game of paintball. I got shot in the same spot three times in a row. It turned out to be my own team, who mistook me for the enemy because I was wearing… camouflage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 509

You deserved it 210

By Anonyme - 17/04/2016 06:10 - Luxembourg

Today, my sister insisted on taking a picture of her plate of pasta “to show her friends what an unworthy family we are”. It was only after she put a candle on her plate that we realized we forgot her birthday. All of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 509

You deserved it 1 229

Odd rewarding system

By Anonymous - 03/01/2025 07:00 - Australia - Moora

Today, one of my uni professors held a contest for the first half of my first semester. 1st, 2nd, 3rd and 5th got a brand new textbook requisite to the course. Me, who came in 4th? A 2” used plastic toy owl that she pulled out of her purse. I moved 300km to attend here, attend lectures faithfully and score A+. WTH? FML

I agree, your life sucks 509

You deserved it 111

Yummy

By Anonymous - 06/05/2020 23:00

Today, I decided to have some bagels. It was only after I ate them that I looked at the cream cheese and discovered that it expired 3 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 509

You deserved it 1 955

Dodged a bullet

By Newly single - 07/10/2024 13:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend, who never gives a dime to homeless people, donated half his paycheck to the victims of Hurricane Helene, saying that "Biden has left them to die" because they're "poor white people." Nice to know he's not just a cheap ass, but a racist conspiracy theorist as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 509

You deserved it 381

Come on

By Anonymous - 01/05/2025 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my two year-old son consistently ignores my mom and will crawl towards my dad every time. My mom is now refusing to visit because a two year-old hurt her feelings. I get it, being ignored hurts, but come on, he’s two. FML

I agree, your life sucks 509

You deserved it 92

AMAZON!

By Anonymous - 18/01/2024 06:00 - Germany

Today, I went to the pickup location where the email from Amazon said my package was, but they didn't have it. Through order tracking, I then found out that it has been delivered to the wrong location, on the other side of town. This has happened twice in a row now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 509

You deserved it 93

Stacy's Mom

By Anonymous - 26/08/2024 13:00 - United States

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. It turns out that one day, long before I met my girlfriend, I had a one-night stand with her mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 509

You deserved it 264

How deep is your rake?

By Anonymous - 23/07/2025 02:00 - United Kingdom

Today, in a scene worthy of any comedy movie, I slipped and landed on my ass right on the garden rake my husband left in the grass. Sounds funny, right? Well, I have 9 holes in my ass and thigh that need stitches. One of them came close to poking my femoral artery, so technically I almost died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 509

You deserved it 92

Control group

By Anonymous - 08/07/2024 11:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my boss wanted us to fill out anonymous employee satisfaction surveys. The entire workforce, all 4 of us, just looked at him. How can a sample of only 4 surveys possibly be kept anonymous? He’d know who it was straight away from our handwriting. Man he must think we’re dumb… FML

I agree, your life sucks 509

You deserved it 97

Some things last a long time

By Jay - 02/08/2024 14:00 - United States - Strykersville

Today, my mom decided to clean out my freezer. She freaked out over a box of unbelievably expensive King crab legs that expired over five years ago. My PTSD kicked in and I explained that I got them for a special occasion three days before my girlfriend was diagnosed with lung cancer. I never got that special occasion. I hate me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 509

You deserved it 143

Bullies never grow out of it

By Daveryan - 28/07/2024 08:00 - United Kingdom - Salisbury

Today, I had a fight with my sister. Back when I was a chubby teen, I was made to wear a woman's panty girdle and hated it. She used to taunt me with slogans like, "Is your girdle killing you?", "Can you believe it's a girdle?" etc. Today she yelled, "Don't bust your girdle!" It's been years and the bitch still won't let up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 509

You deserved it 108

By darkdollyone - 19/05/2010 01:36 - Spain

Today, I saw a very pretty girl at the nightclub. She looked at me so I took a sexy pose while drinking, trying to look cool. I put the straw in my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 509

You deserved it 396

Bore off

By Anonymous - 16/01/2024 13:00 - United States

Today, I keep getting ghosted on every platform. People seem interested until they see my face, and vanish. What gives? I'm plain but not unattractive, nor heavy or blemished. Just average. Boring average. FML

I agree, your life sucks 509

You deserved it 151

Freeloader

By Anonymous - 08/02/2025 21:00 - United States - Atlanta

Today, I found out that I have at least stage 3 cancer. I went on my insurance's website to get information for the doctors. I also saw "Other people who have been on your plan." My ex-wife was listed, with a new last name. She got remarried. I'm just going to let the cancer take me at this point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 509

You deserved it 112

By Anonymous - 03/04/2009 05:23 - Canada

Today, I got in my car. When I sat down, I realized a cat had got in the back seat. The cat startled me so I jumped out and slammed the door. Locking myself out. I watched the cat scratch my seats up for an hour. I'm highly allergic to cats. I can't get in my own car without breaking out in hives. FML

I agree, your life sucks 509

You deserved it 68

Unwelcome

By Anonymous - 28/10/2025 12:00

Today, for my birthday, my mum got me a puppy. I have never expressed any interest in owning a dog. She insists it’s a thoughtful gift but when I look at it, all I see is a bunch of responsibility, training it, extra bills, smells, taking it for walks, chewed furniture. Bollocks to this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 509

You deserved it 107

FML on Facebook

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I tried to unlock my house's front door by hitting the unlock button on my car keys. It took me some time to realize my mistake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 956

You deserved it 8 184

Today, I realised just how lonely I am. After using Tinder for about a week, I got my first match. I said hi while I was in class since I was excited, but by the time I'd gotten back home, she'd unmatched me. I've never felt so hurt by a complete stranger before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 844

You deserved it 347

Today, I was patiently explaining to my boyfriend what I liked in bed, after several weeks of unsatisfactory sex. He snapped at me and said, "80% of women fake their orgasms. Why can't you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 782

You deserved it 183

Today, I went to chill with my best guy friend and his girlfriend, whom I recently met after I moved to the area. After a few beers, my buddy leaned over and tried to make out with me. I quickly backed up and shockingly looked over at his girlfriend to expect the same reaction. She winked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 866

You deserved it 7 921

Today, as I was closing my car door, I realized I had left the keys in the ignition. Not wanting to lock myself out, I reached to stop the door from closing. Not only did I scream when the door slammed on my hand, but in my furious pain, I leaned on the door, locking my keys inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 455

You deserved it 13 270

Today, while I was explaining my troubles to my therapist, he asked me, "And don't you have someone you can tell all that?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 805

You deserved it 120