The Top

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The all-time greatest FMLs

Nature isn't healing

By my butt is lava - 19/08/2023 14:00 - United States - Custer

Today, I was on a nature hike and had to use the bushes as a restroom. In doing so I stepped on an ant hill and ended up with my shorts around my ankles, dancing the Twist to fend off the ants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 550

You deserved it 203

It wasn't me

By Anonymous - 10/07/2025 04:00 - Romania

Today, on the way to work, I saw a mama bear and two cubs beside the road. The guy in front of me hit and killed one of the cubs and sped off. Mama bear ran out into the road, blocked my path, and must have thought I killed her cub, because she attacked my car and tore the bumper and side panel off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 550

You deserved it 79

This is fine

By Anonymous - 31/05/2024 13:00 - United States - Dallas

Today, we're in the middle of vacation. Two days in, my dad no longer wants to do anything but sit in the hotel room and sulk because, "it's all about us." We'd already tried taking him to an antique car and motorcycle museum, and a local gun show, but he just sat in the car pouting. Five more days of this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 550

You deserved it 95

Yuletide rule

By Black sheep PhD - 18/12/2024 15:00 - United States - Oklahoma City

Today, I want the holidays to be over. My mom's family thinks I'm an ungrateful brat and a troublemaker because I don't want to see my relatives who are constantly in jail, between jobs, drunk, owing child support, and trash talking the people who lovingly raised me and who died years ago. I only come for my brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 550

You deserved it 84

British Broadcasting Corporation

By Anonymous - 27/05/2020 23:00

Today, working from home due to the quarantine, things were going slow so I typed "Lola Fox BBC DP porn" into my team chat, thinking I was typing it into my browser. My supervisor took it down as soon as it happened, but people definitely saw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 550

You deserved it 3 385

Denial

By Anonymous - 02/07/2024 08:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad has “accepted” that I’m a lesbian, but can’t seem to understand why I can’t just ignore that part of myself, marry a man and have kids, and never talk about the "lesbian thing" ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 550

You deserved it 173

By Mel - 05/10/2015 04:21 - France - Toulouse

Today, I went to a group gym lesson. While working on our abs, the coach came through, touching our stomachs to check we were doing the exercises correctly. When he got to me, he asked, "How many kids have you got then?" I'm 22, and I've got none. FML

I agree, your life sucks 550

You deserved it 64

BUT MAH RIGHTS! USA!

By Anonymous - 06/02/2025 03:00 - United States - Anaheim

Today, I once again had to explain to yet another student up for expulsion that hate speech, slurs, threats, and sexual harassment are NOT “protected by their first amendment rights.” How these idiots even got into college is beyond me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 550

You deserved it 147

Thanks, Rebecca

By Anonymous - 02/10/2024 17:00 - United States - Columbia

Today, a client called my supervisor to complain that I wasn’t answering my phone. Then they called patients' advocate and submitted a second complaint. I was on my lunch break, but still got written up the moment I returned. No, I wasn’t late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 550

You deserved it 69

It's how dey make dah mahnee

By Anonymous - 10/08/2022 04:00

Today, working in PR, I've been unable to attend 2 out of 3 of my booked tours. That "non-refundable, zero excuses" policy with the billion dollar online activities provider has me out $400. So, instead of enjoying what should be a beautiful PR birthday trip, I'm online now scheduling returns of clothes and jewelry to cover the losses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 549

You deserved it 509

By Anonymous - 30/05/2019 00:01

Today, I went to have my tires replaced. While I was paying, the cashier asked if I would like a warranty for the tires. I said, "Nah, only idiots who can't drive need that." While pulling out of the parking lot, I took the turn too wide and popped my tire on the median. FML

I agree, your life sucks 549

You deserved it 3 262

Off the rails

By Anonymous - 02/11/2023 06:00

Today, and for the past year, I’ve been losing a custody battle with my ex, I got put on medication that makes me feel dead, and I just found out my current boyfriend, who I’ve been dating for 3 years, has been cheating for months with girls I told him I didn’t have a good feeling about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 549

You deserved it 138

Safe space

By lI. - 13/01/2025 02:00 - United States

Today, I was on a Zoom call with my therapist and we were discussing my PTSD. He assured me that I was safe and no one would burst into the room. Just then, my mom burst into my room and started screaming about dirty dishes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 549

You deserved it 132

Time to move on

By Anonymous - 16/10/2022 02:00

Today, I have to pretend like I don’t have feelings for a friend I've know for over 10 years. I have to pretend that my heart isn’t breaking into a million pieces thinking about him with someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 549

You deserved it 532

Suspicious minds

By Summer - 14/07/2025 02:00 - United States

Today, I came back home from an errand and found my ex in bed, embracing my 20 year-old daughter. They said that nothing has been going on. Glad he's an ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 549

You deserved it 94

What was the lie?

By Anonymous - 11/12/2024 02:00

Today, my wife upset herself by ringing my best friend to see if he would lie about where I was, and he did. Now my wife thinks I get my friends to lie for me to cover up my cheating. I’ve never once cheated. This feels like the next level up from cheating on her in her dreams, because she's crazy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 549

You deserved it 155

Fuse ignited

By Anonymous - 16/02/2026 22:00

Today, I got sick of my mother-in-law telling me everything I do brings shame to the family, so I meanly asked if her other son spending three months in prison was shameful or if he was already forgiven. It turned out that he told her he'd spent three months touring Brazil. Cue massive family screaming match. FML

I agree, your life sucks 549

You deserved it 78

Caveman fetish

By Anonymous - 18/08/2022 21:58

Today, my boyfriend lost his temper at me for the first time ever after 2 years of dating, and actually raised his voice. It turned me on, and I don’t just mean on, I mean OOONNNNNN. I was so wet it ran down my thighs and made an obvious damp spot in my jeans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 549

You deserved it 1 150

Classic narcissist mom

By Anonymous - 04/01/2024 13:00 - United States - New Orleans

Today, I told my mom that I’m pregnant. She said I could use it as an opportunity to “trim down.” I’m 130lbs and muscular. FML

I agree, your life sucks 549

You deserved it 128

Never enough, never

By Viscerion - 26/05/2025 22:00 - Japan - Chiyoda-ku

Today, I handed over to my wife a new PC I had just built for her. She's now not talking to me, as I had been completely selfish and hadn't thought of her, all because I did not preinstall Google Chrome or move the Windows 11 start menu to the left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 549

You deserved it 88

What have you done?

By Anonymous - 12/04/2025 08:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my son dropped a firecracker in my flour storage bin, probably thinking the pop would make flour go everywhere. I guess he’s never heard of a dust explosion because what he actually did was set fire to the flour, causing such a violent shockwave it blew the kitchen window out of the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 549

You deserved it 85

Bad choice of material, dude

By screwed - This FML is from back in 2020 but it's good stuff

Today, I told my on and off girlfriend as a joke that I stalked her two years ago. She didn't believe me. When I say she didn't believe me, I mean she didn't believe it was a joke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 549

You deserved it 2 380

Chuds gonna chud

By Anonymous - 08/09/2023 16:00

Today, I was at a job interview which seemed to be going well until the guy saw on my CV that I prefer they/them pronouns. Now, I’m not pushy about it, but he instantly lost interest and kept checking his phone to make sure he gave me my full 15 minutes; at minute 16 I was out the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 548

You deserved it 1 221

Wandering eye

By Anonymous - 24/09/2024 05:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my husband managed to crash the car because he was too busy looking at an attractive girl with her leggings wedged up her ass crack, and I know he only crashed because he was looking at her, because I was in the car with him when it happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 548

You deserved it 110

Not to mention the muffled dialogue

By Anonymous - 30/05/2023 15:00 - Germany

Today, I thought of the saying “TV killed the radio star”, because in the show I'm currently watching it is so dark most of the time that you can neither see people’s faces, nor what is actually happening. If that’s modern television, we might just as well go back to radio. FML

I agree, your life sucks 548

You deserved it 191

By addict.ion - 06/03/2012 23:23 - Spain

Today, while on exchange in Spain, I tried to chat up a charming waiter. The Spanish teacher corrected my sentence’s structure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 548

You deserved it 131

Happy anniversary

By Anonymous - 12/10/2023 07:30 - Canada - Québec

Today, I volunteered to babysit my nephew. He somehow managed to lock himself in the bathroom and then flood it with the sink. I had to call his parents, and they're now on their way home from their romantic anniversary dinner. I'm not even getting paid for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 548

You deserved it 223

Anglican you keep it down?

By Anonymous - 11/12/2024 14:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my mother and wife are arguing over raising our baby Catholic or Church of England. They’re mad at each other and as a bonus they’re both mad at me because I’m non-religious and genuinely don’t care which made-up religion they try to raise her in, I’m just enjoying being a dad over here. FML

I agree, your life sucks 548

You deserved it 205

YouTube Drama

By Youtube drama sucks - 04/02/2021 22:58

Today, I went down a four-hour YouTube rabbit hole trying to understand the Onision drama. I finally snapped out if it, thinking, "I don't care about any of this. What am I doing with my life?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 548

You deserved it 510

Harbinger of doom

By Harbinger of feline death - 06/12/2023 17:00 - United States

Today, I visited a friend's house, where I found out he has a trio of very friendly cats in his yard. After playing with them for a bit, I went inside. An hour later, my friend informed me that one of them had died. None of them were showing any signs of being near death. I'm sad and confused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 548

You deserved it 132

FML on Facebook

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I woke up without back pain for the first time in a few weeks, so I thought it was a good day for a morning wank. When I was almost there, I felt a sharp pain shoot down my lower back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 460

You deserved it 173

Today, I had my first free night in months. I spent it doing homework and watching TV. I had set my Facebook status to say I was spending time with the boys from The Big Bang Theory, then fell asleep. I woke up later to an angry text from my boyfriend thinking I was cheating on him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 786

You deserved it 5 067

Today, I finally had some alone time to relax and watch a movie. As soon as I pressed play, my neighbor started blasting their music so loud I could feel the bass in my chest. I tried calling the landlord, but they didn't answer. I ended up watching the movie with subtitles while listening to my neighbor's music. FML

I agree, your life sucks 913

You deserved it 132

Today, I realised that I can tell my 6 cats apart by the sound of their paws on the carpet. I think I need friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 522

You deserved it 9 681

Today, not even a week after I was laid off from my job, I got a call from my old boss. He offered me a "new" job at the company, which turned out to be just like my old one, but with drastically reduced pay. I'm so broke and desperate that I accepted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 700

You deserved it 4 337

Expensive rings and rushing water don't mix.

I agree, your life sucks 725

You deserved it 244