The Top

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The all-time greatest FMLs

Cool

By HarrisonR - 02/03/2021 23:30 - United Kingdom

Today, while talking to a boy, he asked what my name was and in a state of panic, I said, "Daddy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 605

You deserved it 581

Cruel winter

By Not funny! - 22/02/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, my uncle stole my cousin's phone to take a picture of me. He then sent said picture to my cousin's boyfriend, saying that she'd been cheating on him with me for over a year. He's been cheated on before and is hysterical. My uncle then had the nerve to act all defensive when my cousin and I exploded at him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 604

You deserved it 85

Confused

By Anonymous - 26/09/2024 19:00

Today, I steeled my nerve, gritted my teeth, pulled my finger out, and asked our new coworker on a date. He looked at me weird, then said those four words, “But I’m not gay.” Five weeks we’ve worked together and all that time he thought I was a man. I’m a woman, born a woman, with a vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 604

You deserved it 161

Talking Heads song playing?

By Anonymous - 26/02/2021 07:30 - Australia - Geraldton

Today, I almost burned the house down while changing a lightbulb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 604

You deserved it 270

That's their goal

By your_uglyness - 01/08/2021 05:59

Today, I’m so ugly, I had to pay for more likes on Tinder because I ran out of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 604

You deserved it 369

She's lost control

By Anonymous - 18/06/2025 05:00 - United States

Today, I found out that my husband proposed to his girlfriend, and that her mom had posted it on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 604

You deserved it 89

Routine maintenance

By xXCHCKXx - 25/08/2023 08:00 - United States

Today, and for the past few days, my skin has been all blotchy and messed up so I tried a new face mask that was supposed to peel off easily. It ended up sticking to my skin like glue. I spent hours in front of the mirror trying to peel it off, one painful sliver at a time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 604

You deserved it 148

Life imitates Anime

By Anonymous - 13/07/2023 16:00

Today, I have quite a niche career forging swords, knives, and other weapons for museums. Well today my wife wanted to watch the anime Demon Slayer, we got to the scenes with the insane masked swordsmith, and she burst out laughing like, “Oh my god, you’re twins, grumpy twins!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 604

You deserved it 236

Tumbler

By Anonymous - 27/04/2023 18:00

Today, I decided to clean out my closet and donate some clothes to charity. As I was carrying a heavy bag of clothes down the stairs, I tripped and fell, spilling everything everywhere. I had to start all over again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 604

You deserved it 147

Any advice?

By aw jeez - 24/06/2025 17:00 - United States

Today, we are on our honeymoon, at a beautiful resort, and my wife has been in bed crying for two days. She won't talk to me, and every time I come in, she sobs harder and starts hyperventilating. This can't be a good sign. FML

I agree, your life sucks 604

You deserved it 111

Smooth

By Anonymous - 16/04/2023 12:00 - United Kingdom - Blackpool

Today, I was out for a jog when I saw my ex-boyfriend walking towards me. I tried to duck behind a tree to avoid him, but I slipped on a plastic bag and fell into a lovely patch of mud. He saw the whole thing and walked away smirking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 603

You deserved it 560

Cool your jets

By Can't be mad - 21/01/2023 12:00

Today, I was a little grumpy. I tried my best to not take it out on other people, but then I encountered that ONE person who doesn't realize that sometimes people are just in a bad mood, and they proceed to give you a hard time over nothing. That person was my mom. And then later my dad. Now I'm grounded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 603

You deserved it 355

Sounds like an FML commenter

By Megan M - 25/08/2024 18:00 - United States

Today, I found out that my boyfriend of 3 years cheated on me. I was extremely devastated, and was crying in my room. My mom told me that it’s not a reason to cry. Apparently, “There’s people out there without anything to eat, nowhere to live, and people dying of cancer - that’s a REAL reason to cry.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 603

You deserved it 156

Many such cases

By Anonymous - 20/12/2024 06:00 - United States - Holden

Today, I had to use my husband's vehicle. He has been spiraling into a mean, bigoted man. I got into his vehicle and the radio was on a station that was spewing weird stereotypes of women, and making fun of anyone who is not a hard supporter of a certain orange politician/businessman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 603

You deserved it 293

My time of need

By Anonymous - 22/12/2024 13:00 - United States - Hoffman Estates

Today, my boyfriend got annoyed with me for being really needy and clingy lately. I'm doing it because I was sexually assaulted last week, but I'm just not ready to tell him that yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 603

You deserved it 249

Volvo

By Anonymous - 21/02/2024 19:00

Today, I discovered my girlfriend has a genital wart inside her vagina lips that wasn’t there last week. I found it with my tongue. It did not feel good. FML

I agree, your life sucks 603

You deserved it 143

Hard no

By Anonymous - 21/04/2024 17:00 - United States

Today, my dad, who never supported us growing up, and who calls once a month to collect his monthly living expenses, gave me an ultimatum: either buy him a plane ticket so that he can come live with me forever (he's a raging alcoholic) OR to send him $4,500 US Dollars (which where he lives is someone's 6 month salary). FML

I agree, your life sucks 603

You deserved it 136

Good cause, bad knees

By Anonymous - 15/10/2023 22:00

Today, I took part in a charity run for a good cause. I'd trained for months and showed up, only to trip and fall flat on my face at the starting line. I spent the rest of the race with scraped knees and a bruised ego. FML

I agree, your life sucks 603

You deserved it 158

By KRW - 03/03/2008 14:56

Today, I have to have lunch alone because I'm on a business trip. I go to McDonald's, grab some food and sit outside. School is out, and Ronald McDonald arrives with a bunch of kids, points at me and says, "Look kids, Mister here has no friends, he has to eat alone!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 603

You deserved it 58

Confess!

By Sad man - 20/06/2025 17:00 - United States

Today, I woke up and saw my new car was gone and my son seemed very shifty. When I questioned him with the cops, he admitted to taking it for a joyride and "leaving it" behind a derelict mall. We drove over. It was wrapped around a light post, completely destroyed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 603

You deserved it 100

This can't be legal, surely?

By Joe just Joe - 24/09/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, my landlord sold the apartment I’ve been renting for 10 years without telling me. I found this out when the new owners showed up at the door with boxes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 603

You deserved it 63

Grief and capitalism

By Sad - 17/09/2024 12:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, I was accused of faking tears and lying about my pop's death to get out of work. I was even demoted for being "a liar and untrustworthy." I went home to grieve after finding out he only has a few days left to live. That man raised me. I feel totally broken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 603

You deserved it 91

Sex work is work

By Anonymous - 15/11/2023 04:00

Today, I was joking to mom that at the rate I’m going I’ll have to start an OnlyFans to afford college next year. She shrugged like it was nothing because apparently prostitution got her through college and bought her her first house before she accidentally got pregnant with me. Um, WHAT? FML

I agree, your life sucks 603

You deserved it 287

Hammerhead

By Anonymous - 18/03/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, we have an asshole neighbor who owns a loud muscle car. Another neighbor called the cops on him for constantly revving the engine and breaking the noise ordinance. He now purposefully drives by their house at odd hours of the night to blare his horn and wake everybody up. I live across the road from them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 603

You deserved it 81

Dork

By Anonymous - 20/04/2023 03:00

Today, while watching Harry Potter, I realized I don't have any positive memories to be able to do a Patronus Charm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 603

You deserved it 275

Life imitates life

By Anonymous - 08/07/2023 22:00

Today, I went to a job interview and had a brilliant answer prepared for a common job interview question, but as soon as the interviewer asked what my main qualities were, my mind went blank and I blurted out, "I like turtles." FML

I agree, your life sucks 603

You deserved it 293

Lazy day

By Fail - 17/03/2023 16:00 - United States

Today, I got an exercise wheel for my cat. He took a nap on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 603

You deserved it 316

Get out

By WhatDoIDo - 05/10/2025 12:00

Today, I could easily be any man's dream wife. I'm pretty, smart, devoted, earn well, cook great, keep a clean house, and raise amazing children… but I chose to marry an asshole who keeps hitting me for little to no reason. I'm too scared to raise my kids on my own in this world, or else I would leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 603

You deserved it 232

By I'm a moron - 27/05/2019 14:03

Today, I woke up in an empty room. Thinking I'd been kidnapped, I kicked the door in. The previous night was a blur, and thought I'd been drugged. I was actually in the room my friends had put me in last night, because I went on a drunken rampage. It cost me $100 for a new door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 603

You deserved it 3 319

Burned!

By nali1122 - 22/10/2019 12:00

Today, I received a text forward from a good friend inviting me to his birthday party. Jokingly, I texted back, "No. I hate you and I don't want to go to your lame party." He replied with an apology for the mix-up, because he'd accidentally sent me the invite. FML

I agree, your life sucks 602

You deserved it 2 787

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The Top

Today, after I had planned a romantic weekend for my boyfriend and me, with an itinerary of dinner, events and outings, it got cut short when he had to have his cat put down, which he had for 12 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 442

You deserved it 78

Today, I got a nosebleed. For 7 hours. I ended up in the ER. FML

I agree, your life sucks 837

You deserved it 90

Today, a bus broke down in front of my house and the rescue vehicle simply couldn’t manoeuvre into position to safely tow it away. For the bus to move, they’re going to need to repair it where it is. I can’t get my car out of my driveway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 476

You deserved it 67

Today, my ex thinks he's such a good parent that he is arguing about making up parenting time. Yet our court agreement says he's to be responsible for doctor's appointments, carry health insurance for our child, and life insurance. Plus pay child support. None of which he has followed through on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 228

You deserved it 183

Today, I was babysitting. The kids were thirsty, so I poured them both a cup of the green juice I'd found in a jug in their fridge. They downed it in a flash. It wasn't until later on after I'd poured myself a cup and taken a sip, I realized I had given them margarita mix. The kids are 4 and 2. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 367

You deserved it 58 737

Today, my ex, who I still live with, invited he’s best friend (a drama starter) and his new love interest over for dinner while I was at work. Now I’m outside, waiting for them both to leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 823

You deserved it 343