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The all-time greatest FMLs

Sort yourselves out

By Anonymous - 01/07/2024 08:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that I bought a house next door to crazy people. She asked me if I would mind not showering when her husband is at home, because he can hear me and knowing I’m naked on the other side of the wall turns him on, which is a nuisance for her. He’s unemployed. He’s always at home, the creep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 733

You deserved it 105

Usually a bad omen

By Karen - 21/05/2023 06:00

Today, my boyfriend finally moved in with me, after being long distance for months. Our apartment just became infested with mice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 732

You deserved it 107

Don't know, don't care

By Fuck you too, Grandma - 25/05/2023 05:00 - United States

Today, my mom told me that on my graduation day, the reason she (and my dad) almost didn't show up was because they had to spend almost an hour convincing my grandma to attend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 732

You deserved it 121

Priorities

By Anonymous - 17/04/2022 11:00 - Gabon

Today, my near 70 year-old father posted his Wordle score to the family group chat. Two days after I'd messaged him a warm and lengthy congratulations on his 10-year sobriety anniversary — to which he never replied. FML

I agree, your life sucks 732

You deserved it 206

Just a prank, bro!

By Anonymous - 25/10/2020 21:02 - United States - Kirkland

Today my brother disconnected my internet and made my task bar disappear. I spent 2 hours trying to fix it, when I figured out I just had to restart the computer. Now I'm a little behind on assignments. FML

I agree, your life sucks 732

You deserved it 313

By pooolth - 05/03/2012 03:17 - Ukraine

Today, I’m a French teacher in Ukraine, and in class we were debating gun legislation. In order to get his point across, one of my students pulled out a gun and put it on the table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 732

You deserved it 124

That one embarrassing friend

By Tarik C - 06/08/2022 18:00

Today, while scouting a promising investment opportunity, my friend who escorted me kept referring to the area as “the hood” at full volume as we walked the street. Now I’m supposed to open a storefront there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 732

You deserved it 161

DIABEETUS

By Diabeetus - 21/08/2022 09:00 - United States

Today, after finding out that my mom is diabetic last year in November, this July a good friend of mine died from diabetes. I also found out that my dad is diabetic, as well as my grandma. It would appear that Wilford Brimley hates my guts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 732

You deserved it 130

It's Friday, I'm in love

By Christina - 13/10/2023 16:00 - United States - Beverly

Today, I’m back at work after being out for a month on medical leave. I'd got my permanent schedule which included Friday, and I'd said fine but that I couldn't close on Friday as I have dialysis during the day, and that’s too much for my body. My boss said that was OK. Guess who they made close tonight? FML

I agree, your life sucks 732

You deserved it 110

Hedging your bets

By Anonymous - 13/12/2020 05:02 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, I realized I've been avoiding a doctor's visit for issues, because it might be less painful to go out that way than to see how much more a crapshoot 2021 would be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 731

You deserved it 182

Family matters

By Anonymous - 22/06/2023 06:00

Today, in response to the guy whose son told him to fuck off for disturbing his one day off a week, my son spent literally his entire savings account for a deposit on a shitbox one bedroom house because he’s sick of his dad finding him things to do every ten minutes, and I don’t even blame him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 731

You deserved it 252

Wire fraud

By Anonymous - 20/06/2023 13:00 - United States - Carson City

Today, with the swipe of a button, my credit union decided that I've moved across the country to an entirely different state. They politely sent me a letter notifying me that 'I' had changed my address, though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 731

You deserved it 109

Things that go WTF? in the night

By Anonymous - 22/08/2021 10:01

Today, as I was sleeping, I found a snail in my bed, yet I was dreaming so I thought it was a dream, but it felt real. I jumped out of the bed and I couldn't believe it. I wonder how it got there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 731

You deserved it 113

Body double

By Anonymous - 06/06/2023 22:00

Today, I realised that my friend and I have the same cute, round belly. The problem is that she’s seven months pregnant and I’ve been on a diet with an intensive gym program since January. FML

I agree, your life sucks 731

You deserved it 227

Access denied

By Anonymous - 26/09/2023 19:00 - United Kingdom - Barnsley

Today, my wife spent all day texting me dirty things so I used some of my holiday hours to come home 3 hours early for some sexy time. During my drive home she got in a bad mood, and no longer wanted sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 731

You deserved it 135

Sharkeisha, no

By TIlly - 23/02/2021 14:01

Today, after seeing an old viral video on YouTube, my boyfriend started calling me Sharkeisha. Our friends thought he was implying that I'm violent with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 731

You deserved it 126

County AND country

By Anonymous - 13/02/2025 07:00 - United States - Boise

Today, I learned a state senator is pushing a law to prosecute women for murder if they have an abortion, even out of state. Miscarriages would be investigated for aggravated assault, and if deemed unintentional, life insurance benefits would still be denied. I fear for the women in my county. FML

I agree, your life sucks 731

You deserved it 215

Arseholes

By Anonymous - 14/11/2024 23:00 - United Kingdom

Today, it was dad’s funeral and I intended to speak but I was crying so much I couldn’t finish and mom had to help me back to my seat. Unfortunately, most of our family are arseholes and I could hear someone saying, “Disgraceful, shaming his dad like that.” It was the worst day of my entire life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 731

You deserved it 117

Alexa, play "Don't Give Up" by Peter Gabriel feat. Kate Bush

By Forever Alone - 19/06/2022 18:00

Today, I realized that my YouTube watch history, which is mostly comprised of audio ASMRs dealing with loneliness and other anxiety and depression issues, has turned into one big testament to how utterly lonely I am in the real world, and that I probably will remain like this for the rest of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 730

You deserved it 1 076

Chess boxing

By W…… - 06/04/2023 21:00 - United States

Today, my cousin wanted to play chess with me. I've never been good at chess, but I had no idea until now that my cousin is somehow even worse than I am. I also forgot that he's a sore loser and a half until after I finished thoroughly trouncing him. Now I have a black eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 730

You deserved it 113

Coming and going

By Anonymous - 10/07/2023 09:00 - Pakistan

Today, my fiance of 6 years, who was estranged for 10 months during which time our wedding was naturally called off, came back, and after much convincing got a second chance. Within two weeks of taking it slow, he asked if I had been faithful after he'd abandoned me. A "yes" wasn't enough. He's disappeared again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 730

You deserved it 309

Save the children

By Anonymous - 15/06/2023 02:00 - United Kingdom - Barnsley

Today, after my ex-husband always said we would never let our kids have screen time, since our divorce he has let screens do 100% of his parenting, while he day-drinks, and yet if I try to take the kids away from him, he threatens lawyers straight away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 730

You deserved it 174

Stable genius

By Anonymous - 29/06/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, my mom casually told me, "Remember that time we went to build a swing set when you were four? Actually, I was going to hang myself and take you with me so that you didn't suffer in this life. If it wasn't for your Grandma, we wouldn't be here now. And when I took you to the lake… Oh, silly me!" Cool, mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 730

You deserved it 81

Mr Fixit

By thanks a lot - 26/08/2023 01:00 - United States

Today, I guess my husband was trying to prove something by fixing our dishwasher himself instead of letting the maintenance man come. He watched videos on YouTube but ended up breaking it beyond repair, thus voiding the warranty. Now we have to replace the whole thing at full price. FML

I agree, your life sucks 730

You deserved it 127

If I fits, I sits

By Dumbass Cat - 28/07/2022 15:00 - United States - Steele

Today, my cat got mad at me because I wouldn't let him sit on my Xbox. Jeez, sorry that I care about your safety, and I don't want my Xbox to overheat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 730

You deserved it 212

By ismomalle - 03/11/2011 13:38 - Saudi Arabia

Today, my uncle asked me to help him organize a surprise party for my twin sister. I think he doesn’t get the concept of “twins”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 730

You deserved it 47

Whiffy

By Uber Chad - 25/03/2023 10:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I was in a rush to get to work and forgot to put on deodorant. I didn't realize until my coworker told me I smelled like a gym sock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 730

You deserved it 369

Dumbass

By Anonymous - 15/11/2023 06:00

Today, I talked to a teenage girl that came in for debilitating constipation. Turns out she'd stopped drinking water and had been purposely holding her bowels because her new online boyfriend convince her it’s unattractive and unladylike for girls to poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 730

You deserved it 101

Peaced out

By tappedants - 25/06/2023 17:02 - United States - Sugar Land

Today, a huge family crisis happened, with an abusive DIL, traumatized 10 year-old grandson, and bit-up, scratched-up son. Son and grandson had to flee their home. My husband (their step-dad for 43 years) announced he's going to play golf. Not his kid and grandkid, so why stick around and be supportive? FML

I agree, your life sucks 730

You deserved it 205

Self report

By Anonymous - 07/12/2022 10:00

Today, at work, I had to analyze timecards data and generate a report on the least billed / occupied people at work. I found myself at the bottom. I sent it to my boss too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 730

You deserved it 178

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend told me it wasn't working out and he was breaking up with me. The reason? I have the same first and last name as a very unpopular girl, and he gets embarrassed when people mistakenly assume he's going out with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 166

You deserved it 3 380

Today, my son tried to fight my husband, his step-dad, who knocked him to the floor with one good punch. I was ready to throw my husband out, but an hour later they were having a heart-to-heart, and now they get along better than they ever have. HUH?!! FML

I agree, your life sucks 351

You deserved it 191

Today, while on my run, I saw a middle-aged man sleeping near a business condo. I approached him and asked if he was "ok." He grabbed my leg, held onto it with a death-grip, and moped about how horrible his life was - for ten minutes. At least the weather was nice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 839

You deserved it 8 967

Today, I received a friend request on Facebook from a girl I've had a crush on for a while. As I was about to accept it, it vanished. She explained later that she clicked on my name by accident, and didn't actually want to be friends at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 611

You deserved it 4 051

Today, I woke up to the sound of my neighbor pleasuring himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 461

You deserved it 2 733

Today, I was reading the seventh Harry Potter book at an airport. A woman asked me what I was reading, so I told her. She said, "Oh, so you have children?" Since I'm in my early twenties, I was taken aback and said no. She replied slower and louder, "Oh, so you have a childlike mind?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 155

You deserved it 370