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The all-time greatest FMLs

By Anna - 20/01/2019 16:00

Today, I went into a gynecology appointment to find out my IUD had apparently fallen out without me knowing. What tipped me off? My pregnancy test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 804

You deserved it 323

By AlyCo55 - 22/10/2018 05:00

Today, I found out two of my rats are pregnant. The breeder told us that all of them were male, only one ended up being male. I now have 20+ rat babies on the way and no idea how to take care of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 804

You deserved it 724

By Ashley Rocha - 11/09/2018 20:30

Today, after my washing machine broke yesterday in the middle of a cycle, I went and spent $1400 on a new one. Also today, my dryer started to smoke and almost caught my clothes on fire. There goes another $1000. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 804

You deserved it 333

By Anonymous - 10/02/2019 02:00

Today, a guest at my restaurant asked me what a tip was. I had to awkwardly explain to him that servers don't make hourly wages, and we rely on tips from customers to make money. After I finished, he laughed at me, called me a sucker, and stiffed me on a $120 tab. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 802

You deserved it 319

Doing his part

By asshole - 19/04/2020 20:00

Today, I found out that while I was at my job as an "essential" employee, my laid-off boyfriend was at home banging the landlord's daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 802

You deserved it 197

Two-stroke

By sushichick - 15/04/2020 12:00 - United States - San Jose

Today, my boyfriend posted a status on Facebook saying what a great girlfriend he had. Flattered, I commented on it, saying that I felt the same about him. Turns out he was talking about his other girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 801

You deserved it 291

Respect

By AvocadoPurse - 31/12/2018 16:00

Today, my mother-in-law took a phone message on the back of my marriage license. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 801

You deserved it 293

By Beewwwbs - 09/11/2018 19:00 - Australia - Wembley

Today, I'm on a pill that "may cause breast tenderness". My 32E breasts took that to mean swell up a size, become heavy as lead, be so sore I can't move without a bra on, and stiffen my neck and back muscles so badly I thought I had an ear infection. This will last "a few weeks to months". FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 800

You deserved it 269

By oopsydaddy - 14/08/2018 06:00

Today, my dad asked my help with a computer problem. Whenever he logged on Facebook, every single advertisement appeared to be hardcore porn. I had to awkwardly explain that these ads are based on his browsing habits. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 799

You deserved it 184

Can't wait to find out

By jamerz - 26/05/2019 04:00

Today, someone informed me that my new boyfriend's tattoo is really an old Nazi symbol and not just a poorly-drawn skull. Now I'm trying to figure out how to ask him whether he's a neo-Nazi or not. Why am I so nervous? I'm Jewish, he just hasn't heard my last name yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 799

You deserved it 501

By wheelmaker - 03/12/2018 17:30

Today, the girl I've had several passionate encounters over the past few weeks admitted we cannot entirely be together as she is married. She wants to make it work with me but cannot divorce as she would lose her visa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 798

You deserved it 486

By Anonymous - 25/01/2017 02:00

Today, I was driving to work, following my girlfriend's car. I looked down to change the radio station and felt a large bump. I rear-ended my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 797

You deserved it 5 133

By (L) - 13/02/2018 09:00 - United States - Athens

Today, I was studying in my university library when I noticed an attractive boy sitting alone four tables ahead of me. I wrote down my phone number, scrunched it into a ball, and threw it at him. He looked up, opened it, scrunched it up, and threw it back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 796

You deserved it 3 801

By thanks guys - 07/04/2019 00:00

Today, I’ve been suffering with a fever of 104° as well as an ear and sinus infection. I asked my mom and sister if they could get me meds and fluids from the store. I sent them money through my bank app for the supplies. They took my money and went to lunch instead. I’m still sick as a dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 796

You deserved it 187

Devil parents

By Pandaling - 26/01/2020 05:00 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, my mother-in-law said: "People who don't have kids are children of the devil." I'm infertile, she knows this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 796

You deserved it 142

By Tempted to hide a fish under the floor - 22/09/2018 05:30 - United States - Fairbanks

Today, I marked 3 weeks since meeting my crazy new landlady. Apparently I can't use the dishwasher because "there's no soap", can't bring the trash cans into the garage to keep the bears from getting it, and have to sweep before the cleaning service comes because "it's not their job". FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 795

You deserved it 233

By Whoops... - 02/09/2018 14:30

Today, my breakfast disagreed with me and I unexpectedly shat myself at the laundromat, right after starting the washer with all of my other pants in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 795

You deserved it 310

By VetTechStudent - 25/10/2018 15:30

Today, I had to get a pre-exposure rabies vaccine for school. My boyfriend thinks I'll give him rabies and refuses to let me sleep in the same bed with him or initiate sex. I need two more shots over the next 3 weeks, which means sleeping on the couch for a month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 794

You deserved it 372

Out of the mouth of babes...

By DEE - 26/07/2018 15:00

Today, while I was getting ready for the day, my 5-year-old daughter looked at me and said, "Mom, maybe you should do some gymnastics today. Your legs look bigger." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 792

You deserved it 484

By Daughter of a Dork - 14/09/2018 17:30 - United States - New York

Today, my dad demanded that I break up with my cheating boyfriend. With that revelation, I did some investigating on my own. The other woman is apparently my boyfriend's "cute little" Marshadow that slaughtered my dad's "godlike" Incineroar in a 3DS battle they had. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 792

You deserved it 287

By Anonymous - 16/01/2019 20:00

Today, I got trapped in the airport lift for half an hour with my family while heading to departure. We ended up missing our flight. 3000 Malaysian bucks were spent on that flight. No one wants to compensate our loss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 791

You deserved it 202

By One less friend... - 17/05/2018 13:00 - United States - Schnecksville

Today, thinking my ex-gothic friend was going through another "wear all black" phase, I walked up to her and jokingly asked who died. Her father. Her father died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 790

You deserved it 3 945

By Anonymous - 15/08/2018 20:30

Today, I rested my face against my boyfriend's shoulder while we watched a movie. I didn’t realize he had put Icy Hot on the same shoulder right before I sat down. I cried in pain. He cried with laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 790

You deserved it 455

By SilkySmooth - 28/11/2018 22:00

Today, I realised why my room has been smelling like berries and why sex has been so uncomfortable recently. Apparently boyfriend doesn't know the difference between hair conditioner and lube. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 790

You deserved it 441

By Oh no - 13/10/2018 03:00

Today, I went searching for my old school laptop only to find that my stepdad had swiped it and given it to his mother. My sex tapes and nudes are on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 790

You deserved it 2 020

GGs

By deerslayer559 - 27/09/2017 23:14

Today, while playing golf, I hit my ball near some tall grass along the edge of the water. Unbeknownst to me, there was an alligator hiding in the grass. He growled at me during my shot, causing me to put the ball directly into the pond. Alligator: 1 Me: 0. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 789

You deserved it 458

By Anonymous - 14/09/2018 01:30

Today, I was texting with my childhood crush late at night and we were exchanging secrets. I figured this was as good a time as any to tell her about my long-standing crush on her. Turns out she's a lesbian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 789

You deserved it 359

By WhyM3¿?¿ - 31/03/2019 04:00

Today and so far not a good year. I'm still taking care of my mom who is sick from cancer and I seem to be the only one to help her (I'm the youngest btw). I pay the bills, clean, cook, work, bathe and feed my mother I'm exhausted I'm only 18... But it's not that my sis called me SELFISH Today...FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 788

You deserved it 193

By Anonymous - 04/04/2017 09:07

Today, coming home after a hard day's work was so relaxing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 788

You deserved it 493

Annoying

By bluebird97 - 28/12/2018 20:00

Today, my boyfriend called work because he is sick. Then he called me four times while I was working, to complain that I was working, and then he got mad when I told him I was sick and worked a double shift two days in a row, because apparently that's "insensitive" of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 788

You deserved it 271

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The Top

Today, I finally got my paycheck that I could enjoy $300 for myself after taking care of my bills with so many other ones. Then, I find out that the water was shut off, which is supposed to be my roommate's responsibility. Apparently, he has not paid it in months, and they want $288. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 388

You deserved it 184

Today, my step-mom stole over $100 in cash from me, dumped dirty cat litter all over my clean bed sheets, and called me a whore for having a polite conversation with my boyfriend. I confronted my father about it. He told me to forgive her, because she's "on her period." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 652

You deserved it 2 732

Today, my friends woke me up on my birthday by spraying me with silly string. I have a job interview and it won't come out of my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 816

You deserved it 1 039

Today, I boarded a plane. A woman decided that she didn't like where she'd put her carry on luggage and pulled it out from over my head. The heavy luggage then fell right onto my face, the wheel smacking me in the mouth and busting my lip open. She just laughed and waltzed away without a word. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 953

You deserved it 2 509

Today, I landed my first job as a security officer. Only after I signed all the paperwork did I find out that the area I'll be working is apparently a hotspot for violent shootings. I'm screwed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 404

You deserved it 6 198

Today, I realized am THAT parent: I put a lot of pressure on my 8 year-old (!) daughter, because I hope she succeeds professionally and will have the self-confidence I lack. Why do I rather stay at home and lack self-confidence? Because my own mother put me under so much pressure and drowned me in her expectations. FML

I agree, your life sucks 176

You deserved it 912