Today, my sister wanted to play football in the garden with me.... - FML

Content almost refused by staff

By Anonymous - 26/03/2020 19:04

Today, my sister wanted to play football in the garden with me. Thinking she hated football, we kicked the ball around to each other. Next thing I know, she nutmegs me, pulls my shorts down in the process, causing me to fall over, and then to make matters worse, her knee caught me in the nuts. FML.

agreeclassic 118

vote type 1 12

Back to school
Is that it, have we really enjoyed the holidays? It's time to find the best back-to-school struggles. More…

Previous FML Next FML

TOP COMMENTS

Callyn 47

Tuesday 31 March 2020 19:36

What the hell does "nutmegs me" mean? I would have thought it had something to do with kicking you in the nuts, but it can't be that because you mention that she knees you in the nuts later on.

Comments

Callyn 47

Tuesday 31 March 2020 19:36

What the hell does "nutmegs me" mean? I would have thought it had something to do with kicking you in the nuts, but it can't be that because you mention that she knees you in the nuts later on.

VDM sur Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Top

Today, I kindly asked my irate mother to respect my boundaries and to find other outlets for her frustration. Instead of responding AT ALL to what I had asked, she yelled at me for an hour about a completely unrelated political documentary she'd seen on YouTube, and then didn't apologize for her outburst. Typical. FML

agreeclassic 904

vote type 1 156

Today, I sneezed while brushing my teeth and ended up with toothpaste in my eye. I haven't been able to see clearly for two hours. FML

agreeclassic 32 800

vote type 1 4 021

Today, some friends got upset with me as I wouldn't leave work early and cycle 12 miles to meet them to fix their punctures because they had no spare tubes or repair kits. The same friends that always mock me for being so prepared on bike rides. FML

agreeclassic 24 935

vote type 1 1 740

Today, while performing a rectal exam on my female patient, I inadvertently said, "Okay, you're going to feel some pleasure now." I meant "pressure". Her husband was in the room. FML

agreeclassic 48 166

vote type 1 9 476

Today, I got lost trying to find the hospital my sister was giving birth in. I stopped at a store to call my mom for directions. A cop pulled up beside me and knocked loudly on my window asking me to get out. The store had been robbed and I am now a suspect. FML

agreeclassic 35 938

vote type 1 2 560

Today, I refused to ride with a friend on a motorcycle because it is unsafe and went to take the bus. As I got off the bus, I got hit by a speeding motorcycle and ended up in hospital. FML

agreeclassic 34 474

vote type 1 5 764