Today, my girlfriend of six months broke up with me over the... - FML

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By insulttoinjury - 19/11/2018 17:21

Today, my girlfriend of six months broke up with me over the phone, while I am in the hospital. After suggesting we talk about it she visited me. As she was leaving, I leaned in for one last hug. She reached out her hand and had me shake it instead. FML

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BurnInDemonFire 35

Thursday 22 November 2018 16:43

Did she break up with you because of whatever put you in the hospital? 'Cos that's low. Or are we missing something here?

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BurnInDemonFire 35

Thursday 22 November 2018 16:43

Did she break up with you because of whatever put you in the hospital? 'Cos that's low. Or are we missing something here?

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, school finally opened up using a hybrid schedule. Unfortunately, two of my teachers were quarantined and half of the school was on Zoom. I spent two hours in the library doing nothing with a mask on. Everyone else was on Zoom in bed. FML

agreeclassic 844

vote type 1 128

Today, I was complaining to my roommate that I never get asked out. Then, at work, a mentally challenged man left me his phone number on his pay ticket. Well, I guess I can't complain about never getting asked out. FML

agreeclassic 21 484

vote type 1 7 358

Today, I was knocked into a wall by a high-pressure water cannon suddenly kicking in. I was only going to the corner store to buy some chocolate. Probably serves me right for not noticing a small riot due to a thumping hangover. FML

agreeclassic 26 061

vote type 1 7 032

Today, my current girlfriend and my ex-girlfriend met each other. I don’t know how but they’re currently both getting on splendidly, while being mad at me like I’m the enemy of all womankind and should be castrated without delay. I want to go home. FML

agreeclassic 801

vote type 1 301

Today, I spent ages prepping, chopping, bagging and freezing lots of fruits and veggies for my mom. I also bought her a juicer and alkaline water to help combat some of her health issues. I walked into the kitchen to see her mixing her juice with vodka and rum instead of the water. FML

agreeclassic 1 307

vote type 1 280

Today, I discovered that when you're the maid of honor giving a toast at your best friend's wedding, it's important to make sure the zipper on your dress is secured. Otherwise, your bare breasts and Hello Kitty panties could end up exposed to a wedding party of 600 people. FML

agreeclassic 46 123

vote type 1 9 173