Today, in the middle of the night, I had the sudden urge to shit.... - FML

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By Ms.ShittyKitty - 16/09/2018 00:53 - United States - Pomona

Today, in the middle of the night, I had the sudden urge to shit. After sprinting to the only bathroom, I was horrified to see my roommate was already taking a crap. With no other options and no time, I was forced to have explosive diarrhea in my cat's litter box. FML

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vote type 1 3

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user53658 15

Wednesday 19 September 2018 7:38

I applaud your ability to quickly make smart decisions while under great stress!

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user53658 15

Wednesday 19 September 2018 7:38

I applaud your ability to quickly make smart decisions while under great stress!

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Today, my dad asked me to send my mom a text since he was driving and I was in the passenger seat. I pulled up my mom's contact on his phone, and I found that my mom had recently sent my dad a picture of her jugs, along with the message, "We miss you." FML

agreeclassic 32 877

vote type 1 2 759

Today, I overheard my boyfriend of two years tell his friend he was going to "pop the question." Ecstatic, I wore my nicest dress and got my hair done for dinner. Near the end, he leant in romantically and asked if we could start doing anal. So much for marriage. FML

agreeclassic 40 584

vote type 1 7 830

Today, at school, I got stuck in the elevator and was about to panic before I remembered I had my phone. I called my mother and she called the school to tell them that I was stuck. They got me out in a few minutes and then confiscated my phone and gave me two detentions for using it in school. FML

agreeclassic 54 590

vote type 1 3 452

Today, a girl I knew in high school who now lives out of state came to town to visit and stay over. We've been talking albeit romantically for the past few months. Not thirty minutes after we arrived at my place from the airport, her ex-boyfriend came by and she hopped in his car. I haven't heard from her since. FML

agreeclassic 342

vote type 1 88

Today, my mother told me I'm going to get lung cancer. Because she smokes. FML

agreeclassic 38 228

vote type 1 2 824

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agreeclassic 8 081

vote type 1 583