Work and Intimacy: Today, I was helping my elderly dementia client with her toilet....

By Poorlittlelady - 08/10/2018 22:00 - United States - Birmingham

Today, I was helping my elderly dementia client with her toilet. I reached in both front and back to pull up her pants for her. "Not too hard, nice and easy..." she said with a weird smile. I looked over to see I was actually pulling her nipple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 139

You deserved it 662

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 13/06/2009 06:40 - United States

Today, I made a patient really happy. I work in a long term care facility and was changing a woman's diaper. While cleaning her, I somehow managed to give her an orgasm with a warm wash cloth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 458

You deserved it 4 927

Frozen

By Scarred for life - 13/03/2020 08:00

Today, while volunteering at a senior care center, I witnessed a woman begin to remove her trousers. Then she began tearing apart her diaper. She then began to explore her body. I was unable to stop her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 609

You deserved it 148

By habassistant - 02/01/2013 15:49 - United States - North Olmsted

Today, I was cleaning one of my disabled clients because he pooped himself, so I started to undress him for a shower. I took his dirty diaper off and set it on his bed, then I bent over to take off his socks at which point he put the diaper on my head like a hat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 028

You deserved it 5 246

By Nola - 27/04/2017 12:00

Today, I watched my mother pull her pants down and, using her hands, feel her butt crack to check if she'd had had an accident. She then pulled her pants up, went into the kitchen and touched stuff in the refrigerator. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 268

You deserved it 335

By Misspoopypants - 25/07/2017 05:00

Today, I spent the first two hours of my shift cleaning up liquid poo after an elderly lady sat in one of our chairs and promptly let go of her bowels. I was so embarrassed for her that I even bought her a towel, underwear, and a pair of pants. She then thanked one of my coworkers for all the help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 254

You deserved it 357

By thisreallyhappened - 15/05/2009 02:39 - United States

Today, a little girl at my work had an accident. She asked me to help her change, and as she was changing she stuck her hand in her vagina to make sure all the "peepee was gone". She then put that same hand on my face to balance herself as she finished changing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 771

You deserved it 3 970

By Crap - 12/04/2016 16:48 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was taking a dump at work at a nursing home. While reaching for the toilet paper, I accidently pushed the emergency button. The nursing supervisors broke into the washroom to help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 821

You deserved it 2 953

By Anonymous - 31/12/2012 07:58 - United States

Today, while helping out at a retirement home, I had to get a book off a bookshelf. When I reached up, my watch got stuck on my shirt, resulting in my shirt lifting up. I just flashed my man-boobs to at least 20 senior citizens, and one of them even asked if he could have a feel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 705

You deserved it 6 537

By Noname - 13/03/2009 15:49 - Canada

Today, I was talking to my grandmother, who was lying down on the couch under a blanket watching TV. As I was leaving, I said "See you later Nana," and patted her on the shoulder. Her shoulder was soft, and moved more than I expected. It was her boob. I felt up my grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 714

You deserved it 12 915

By Olorin - 12/08/2010 23:21 - Germany

Today, I was installing TVs in a hospital. When I knocked on a door, a female voice asked me to come in. I opened the door to see an 80 year old woman standing in front of me, naked. She then complained when I hesitated to help her to put some clothes on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 421

You deserved it 2 727

PenguinPal3017 19

Tuesday 9 October 2018 5:40

I don't understand the logistics of the situation, and I don't think that I want to.

mutlupb 4

Thursday 13 September 2018 18:34

What was her nipple doing in her pants?

Comments

BurnInDemonFire 33

Friday 7 September 2018 14:58

Oh baby!

mutlupb 4

Thursday 13 September 2018 18:34

What was her nipple doing in her pants?

lisyaorancrazed 16

Tuesday 9 October 2018 7:29

maybe she has some extremely saggy boobs.

Tiffany Herrera 4

Tuesday 9 October 2018 8:28

It’s called sagging. It’s the inevitable reality of getting old. Don’t try too hard to picture it

PenguinPal3017 19

Tuesday 9 October 2018 5:40

I don't understand the logistics of the situation, and I don't think that I want to.

LAUGHINGKOMODO 25

Tuesday 9 October 2018 6:16

TF did I just read?

bluhbluhbluh 14

Tuesday 9 October 2018 8:13

I physically and mentally rebuke this fml.

aruden 25

Tuesday 9 October 2018 8:43

Old lady problems. Welcome to sag town

darkshadus 10

Tuesday 9 October 2018 12:44

At least you made her day, you are now her favorite caregiver

disturbedgd 26

Tuesday 9 October 2018 16:22

Haunting

Mark Leeis 4

Tuesday 9 October 2018 19:53

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

TheSminty1 17

Tuesday 9 October 2018 20:29

Gravity has clearly taken its toll

Keywords

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Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I'm too "high maintenance". And that's because I ask him to use condoms when we have sex, and I refuse to invite my friends over for threesomes. I don't know why I'm not actually glad we are broken up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 855

You deserved it 5 979

Today, despite being 22 and having near-perfect dental hygiene, I was diagnosed with receding gums and can only eat soft food for the rest of my life. Then the dentist told me that this typically only happens to people over fifty who don’t take care of their teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 855

You deserved it 248

The Top

Today, it's been three weeks since my dad finished growing what he calls a "Jesus beard" and gone out asking for donations and claiming to be Jesus Christ. I've been trying and failing to get a job for 2 years, and he's already raking in cash from gullible idiots. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 182

You deserved it 3 969

Today, I was sitting in my cubicle at work, nursing a hangover, and thinking how stupid I was for getting so shit-faced last night. I then realized that I was voicing my thoughts out loud, and the whole office had gone quiet, listening to me castigate myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 046

You deserved it 39 403

Today, I woke up excited to go trick-or-treating, the treat being candy. Instead, my town has officially postponed Halloween due to blackouts. I guess this is where the trick comes in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 427

You deserved it 3 732

Today, my coworker came to my desk, so I greeted him with a smile, and said, "Hello friend." He then told me that we are not friends, and that he hates when I say that. Oh, OK, sorry for trying to be nice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 733

You deserved it 490

Today, I was home alone when I heard the carbon-monoxide detector beeping. Panicking, I grabbed my dog, ran out of my house as fast as I could, and waited outside for 3 hours for my mom to get home. Turned out the detector was just out of batteries. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 451

You deserved it 7 667

Today, I took a part time job at McDonald’s and started working in the kitchen. The floor is so greasy, you can’t walk normally, you move around like you’re on an ice rink. With some momentum built up, you can even slide a couple of meters when no one is looking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 949

You deserved it 136

Same thing different taste

Frozen

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