By holly_fly - 24/04/2016 01:28 - United States Today, I nearly orgasmed scratching a rash. FML agreeclassic 9 vote type 1 4 Share Tweet Share
Today, while delivering pizza, a customer got mad at me and accused me of not having a GPS, then cussed me out and hung up. The address he gave me was a parking lot with 6 cars, none of which were his. FML agreeclassic 2 787 vote type 1 165
Today, my boyfriend transferred some money to me online. He put a joke reference of "Anal nice 'n cheap". We need to show a month-long bank statement to our mortgage broker tomorrow. FML agreeclassic 4 225 vote type 1 566
Today, I'm so out of shape that I got winded from getting out of bed. FML agreeclassic 20 076 vote type 1 18 047
Today, I had to profusely apologize to a woman after my six year old son decided to crawl between her legs at the supermarket, then look up her skirt and loudly ask why she didn't have any panties on. FML agreeclassic 30 141 vote type 1 4 047
Today, I was watching a movie with my family in which a character said "Fuck you, dad." My dad then slapped me over the head to get my attention and said, "Never talk to your father like that." Okay, dad. FML agreeclassic 50 051 vote type 1 4 486
Today, at work as a dog groomer, two dogs gave me bloody bites, completely unprompted. I went home in tears, so my family got Chinese takeout to cheer me up. My fortune cookie read, "It is not the size of the dog in the fight, but the size of the fight in the dog that counts." FML agreeclassic 4 828 vote type 1 532