Today, I had my first ever one night stand. I haven't been intimate...

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By Sarah Lyn Guillen - 17/10/2018 07:08

Today, I had my first ever one night stand. I haven't been intimate with anyone in over four years. When we finally did it, he lasted about a minute. I didn't even orgasm, and it hurt. Worst lay I ever had. FML

agreeclassic 64

vote type 1 10

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TOP COMMENTS

BurnInDemonFire 35

Friday 19 October 2018 19:26

Well, Sarah Lyn Guillen, be prepared for an influx of potential suitors via Facebook. Then you can have as many bad lays as you like.

Comments

BurnInDemonFire 35

Friday 19 October 2018 19:26

Well, Sarah Lyn Guillen, be prepared for an influx of potential suitors via Facebook. Then you can have as many bad lays as you like.

VDM sur Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, during a major argument with my girlfriend, I shoved a door open, which then rebounded and hit me in the face. I'm not sure which is more pathetic: that I was savaged by a door, or that I made up a story about kicking a mugger's ass to explain the huge black eye to my coworkers. FML

agreeclassic 10 625

vote type 1 36 094

Today, my mother got heartburn. She claimed she only gets heartburn when she is near a pregnant woman. She threatened to kick me out of the house if I didn't take a pregnancy test, despite there being no way I was pregnant. Turns out, I am pregnant, and my mother's ego has never been bigger. FML

agreeclassic 34 600

vote type 1 9 933

Today, while I was working at a Rite Aid, the superintendent of the local high school stopped in and was rude to me. I asked if he knew my principal and explained that I graduated from another nearby high school two years ago. Suddenly, the grumpy asshole became the greatest gentleman. FML

agreeclassic 377

vote type 1 116

Today, I got concussion after a goat ran in front of me while I was jogging. FML

agreeclassic 33 452

vote type 1 4 339

Today, I ran into an attractive friend of a friend I hadn't seen since a night out last month. I tried my best to be friendly and interesting, but he still seemed awkward. Later I found out that the last time he saw me I was blind drunk and vomiting after having propositioned him all evening. FML

agreeclassic 973

vote type 1 2 052

Today, I sent flowers to my ex, scheduled to be delivered after work in the evening. She texted me at midday thanking me for the flowers. I looked at my shipping order and they haven’t been sent yet. FML

agreeclassic 272

vote type 1 656