Intimacy: Today, I dyed some clothes, using my phone as a timer. Thinking... - FML

This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By Anonymous - 10/05/2016 00:36 - United States - Bowie

Today, I dyed some clothes, using my phone as a timer. Thinking I'd avoid accidents, I kept my phone far away from the tub. When I came back with more clothes, my phone was gone. It was in the tub. Apparently it received enough texts to vibrate off the toilet and bounce over a foot into the tub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 215

You deserved it 27

Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

gamermonster 34

Tuesday 10 May 2016 18:18

That's impressive

ForeverSushi 16

Tuesday 10 May 2016 21:41

When you phone has more skills than you.

Comments

gamermonster 34

Tuesday 10 May 2016 18:18

That's impressive

ForeverSushi 16

Tuesday 10 May 2016 21:41

When you phone has more skills than you.

Bibliovore 26

Wednesday 11 May 2016 6:24

Why is this in the Intimacy category?

average0123 5

Wednesday 11 May 2016 6:57

On the bright side, people texted you

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

The Top

Today, I overheard my friends laughing about how my anxiety means I'll be single forever. I was too anxious to confront them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 967

You deserved it 1 592

Today, I was on my way to a relatively important interview when I realized that I'd forgotten to put on antiperspirant. Once seated, I was so nervous that I started sweating profusely under my light blue shirt, and by the end of the whole ordeal I had huge sweat stains under my armpits, down to my elbows. FML

I agree, your life sucks 781

You deserved it 255

Today, I was following my girlfriend up the stairs, I was pretty sure I was going to get lucky. As I was almost up the set of stairs, she lifted her skirt and revealed to me that she wasn't wearing any panties. I fell backwards down the stairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 045

You deserved it 21 080

Today, I have fibromyalgia and ADHD. I either have no energy, no focus, or no energy for anything, or I burn out trying to do everything. Meanwhile, my mother is adamant that I can be "cured" if I stop eating sugar. I'm allergic to most sweeteners and she won't believe me, and thinks she knows better than my doc. FML

I agree, your life sucks 462

You deserved it 123

Today, I went to see the school counselor to schedule my classes for school. She asked me if I knew how to speak English. My parents are Chinese and I don't even know how to speak Chinese. I've lived in America my whole life. Plus, I even spoke to her in English to ask about classes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 026

You deserved it 3 889

Today, my boss told me to fire the unstable, former military, gun nut employee. He's been making death threats to his supervisors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 270

You deserved it 2 956