Today, after flirting like crazy, I finally got the chance to... - FML

This is a Nearly FML. It’s an FML, nearly. It got positive votes from the users, by wasn’t approved by our team.

By Unpleasant surprise - 16/01/2017 17:24

Today, after flirting like crazy, I finally got the chance to hook up with this incredibly hot, incredibly ripped guy at my gym. Things were hot and heavy until we got naked and we're about to seal the deal. Guess the rumors about steroids and penis size are true. FML

I agree, your life sucks 319

You deserved it 91

Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

brewmasterg 34

Sunday 22 January 2017 11:54

Well that's not very nice. You'd be okay with him using steroids if his penis was bigger? What if he's worked really hard to get fit because he has low self esteem BECAUSE of his small penis? This comes off as extremely judgmental and superficial and I really have a difficult time feeling sorry for you at all.

Comments

andersaonsliva 9

Sunday 22 January 2017 5:59

Use his muscle

brewmasterg 34

Sunday 22 January 2017 11:54

Well that's not very nice. You'd be okay with him using steroids if his penis was bigger? What if he's worked really hard to get fit because he has low self esteem BECAUSE of his small penis? This comes off as extremely judgmental and superficial and I really have a difficult time feeling sorry for you at all.

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

The Top

Today, my boyfriend dumped me by text at 1:30 am because he didn't want to give me "the dread of answering a phone call." When I asked him for an explanation, his reply was, "For what?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 713

You deserved it 2 695

Today, I was doing laundry while my boyfriend was sitting at the table playing on his phone. I glanced over and caught him watching my ass as I put clothes in the dryer. Trying to be sexy, I looked at him as I slowly bent over to put more clothes in. Instead, I hit my head hard on the dryer door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 474

You deserved it 8 935

Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time and we were alone. He was being super romantic and snuggling with me, and then out of nowhere he let out the biggest fart I've ever heard. He then explained how I should try to compete with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 138

You deserved it 391

Today, my younger brother brought home his new bagpipes. My older brother plays the drums. I'm currently preparing to sit the most important exams of my schooling life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 518

You deserved it 2 427

Today, I read a book by a former client who did time for fraud. She swears she's innocent, and blames everyone for her "ordeal": the police, court, judge, and me, her own attorney. She conveniently forgot to mention her two full confessions, one of which was given before the judge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 358

You deserved it 3 464

Today, my boyfriend decided to give me my Christmas present early because he's going to his grandparents' house for Christmas and won't see me. I was excited, until I unwrapped a sweater that I left there a month ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 251

You deserved it 2 998