Miscellaneous: Girl…

Girl…

By sober - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I got a text message. It said, "I'm so drunk. What you up to, girl?" It was my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 460

You deserved it 4 338

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Same thing different taste

It's better than nothing, I suppose

By thatonekid - 06/05/2009 22:04 - United States

Today, my dad texted me, "I love u." I replied, "I love you too dad... are you drunk?" He answers back, "Of course I am..." My dad only tells me he loves me when he's drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 046

You deserved it 5 194

By paige - 01/04/2011 03:18 - United States

Today, my dad came home drunk and called me hot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 755

You deserved it 5 793

By Illinoisgirl - 14/02/2012 14:29 - Hungary

Today, my dad got so drunk that he proposed to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 265

You deserved it 3 054

Nice view

By Sexting Parents - 16/11/2012 02:45 - United States - Short Hills

Today, my dad asked me to send my mom a text since he was driving and I was in the passenger seat. I pulled up my mom's contact on his phone, and I found that my mom had recently sent my dad a picture of her jugs, along with the message, "We miss you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 879

You deserved it 2 761

He's still got it

By Anonymous - 26/10/2019 00:01

Today, my dad got drunk at a party and flashed me and my friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 738

You deserved it 154

Let down

By MoxyR12 - 24/06/2009 15:33 - United States

Today, I was texting this guy that I really liked. Things were going pretty well. I got a call from his number and excitedly answered it. It was his girlfriend asking if he was bothering me because he likes to text random people when he's drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 846

You deserved it 5 734

By Anonymous - 15/05/2015 23:55 - United States

Today, I came home to find my dad drinking. Trying to be cheerful, I greeted him with a "Hi, dad!" He sighed, shook his head, and said "It hurts me when you call me that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 767

You deserved it 2 386

Supportive

By arch maester shavayalsharashion - 26/07/2015 17:29 - United Kingdom - Surbiton

Today, I was pouring my heart out to my dad about how I'm such a loser and how I have no friends. He listened sympathetically, until his phone buzzed with a text message. He said, "Balls, the guys from work wanna get shitfaced!" and took a rain check on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 832

You deserved it 2 936

Drunk MC

By Anonymous - 11/03/2013 14:03 - Sweden - Sundbyberg

Today, my dad has been hitting the bottle, and will only respond to anything I say in a slurred rap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 511

You deserved it 3 040

By Username - 17/08/2011 23:37 - United States

Today, I drunk texted a guy I like. We'd met at an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 689

You deserved it 41 843

XxLorniklexX 0

Tuesday 17 February 2009 1:13

This is why parents shouldn't text.

kk_fml 0

Thursday 12 February 2009 6:17

that is hilarious

Comments

sallem5 0

Monday 23 February 2009 23:06

Teehee, that's hilarious

Newo_fml 0

Wednesday 25 February 2009 19:39

HAHA! I'm sorry, but I laughed SOOOo hard at that

PeaStew 0

Thursday 26 February 2009 3:22

HAHAAHAHAHAHA

yuyo_fml 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 19:18

lmaoooooo hows can that be FML??? thatsss sooo funnyyyyyyy

livewithasmile 0

Thursday 5 March 2009 3:00

AHHAHA thats os funny

mdonhaligans 0

Thursday 5 March 2009 22:00

I nearly peed my pants when I read this. I'm still laughing! soooo funny!

Heatstreak 0

Saturday 7 March 2009 1:50

if he has a hang over make alot of noise

bawa_fml 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 5:15

TELL HIM NEVER TO TEXET MESSGE AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

unimportant 0

Monday 9 March 2009 7:11

eewwwwwwww

soandso 0

Monday 9 March 2009 22:53

LOLOL

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, a guy asked for my number. He used the rather annoying "You know, this iPhone has everything... but you know the only thing that's missing is your number." I might have given it to him, if he did have the iPhone, not the makeshift box of Mini Wheat Thins he had in his hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 722

You deserved it 5 910

Today, I was complaining about the weather when my fiancé looked at me and said, "Can I ask a favor? Can you stop moaning and complaining and bitching about every single little thing that doesn't go your way?" He continued on for a good five minutes detailing how much I complain. He's a dead man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74

You deserved it 1 134

Today, I went to court to file a small claim and found myself at the end of a huge line. The moment I got to the front of the line, the fire alarm went off and we all had to leave the building. The moment I got outside, the alarm stopped and everybody rushed back in. I'm at the back of the line. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 773

You deserved it 3 798

Today, our art teacher told us we will have to build a giant Coca-Cola bottle made of smaller ones as our art project for next week, meant to represent the damage consumerism does to our environment. I think he doesn’t understand we will have to buy tons of Coke to get the bottles needed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 384

You deserved it 1 008

Today, my boss told me his cancer test results came back positive. I congratulated him and asked how he planned to celebrate. It turns out a positive cancer test result is a bad thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 765

You deserved it 62 643

Today, I was pet sitting for a friend. As soon as I walked in the door, I stepped in dog poop. I took off my shoes to clean them, then stepped in cat pee in my socks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 860

You deserved it 380