Gifts

Happy Birthday!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had to wrap presents for a cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 455

You deserved it 7 754

A little drinky-drink problem?

By Anonymous - 26/12/2022 15:00 - United States - Newark

Today, a local liquor store gave me a holiday gift for being such a great customer. They're not the first ones to do so. FML

I agree, your life sucks 364

You deserved it 975

Ungrateful!

By Thanks a lot, guys - 10/05/2023 15:00 - United States

Today, I got a care package for graduation. Among the stuff inside was a toolbox; I never took shop classes or showed any interest in them because of severe disability. I also got a Snickers bar; I hate peanut butter. I even got a bunch of clothes hangers; I had more than enough as it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 399

You deserved it 723

One-upped

By Anonymous - 28/03/2025 15:00 - Canada - King City

Today, I went out to see my uncle on my mom’s side and his family for my mom’s birthday. My oldest cousin insisted that he and his wife give their gift first. It was a stuffed bear, along with the news that they’re expecting their first kid, and making my mom a great-aunt. My gift was a cake she used to make. FML

I agree, your life sucks 334

You deserved it 94

Thanks UPSDHLFML

By Anonymous - 23/09/2021 04:59

Today, my friend received a package I sent her by mail. The package was already ripped open on arrival, two out of the three blouses I sent her were missing and a limited edition glass cup I sent her with the apparel was smashed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 044

You deserved it 82

Thanks, I hate this

By creepingjennie - 05/01/2022 14:01

Today, I discovered that I'm allergic to the flowering plant my passive-aggressive mother gave me for Christmas. I take two different antihistamines daily for my numerous allergies all year round, and my mother knows this is why I don't have house plants. She said, "You better not get rid of it!" I think she hates me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 144

You deserved it 163

Love is in the air

By Anonymous - 27/11/2024 23:00 - United Kingdom

Today, for my birthday, my husband gave me a dress he stole from my wardrobe. It was the one I'd bought myself on my last birthday because he forgot to buy me anything, and gave me cash in a brown envelope. Not a birthday card, a brown envelope. FML

I agree, your life sucks 554

You deserved it 113

How can I make this about me?

By Anonymous - 04/02/2022 18:01

Today, it's my birthday. My wife took me to my favorite restaurant for dinner. She made me pay for my birthday dinner, along with hers. She also got me a gift card to HER favorite store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 174

You deserved it 170

Christmas motivation?

By runfattyrun - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - Australia - Abbotsford

Today, I got a gym membership for Christmas, from 3 different people. I think my family's trying to tell me something. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 795

You deserved it 1 424

One-sided

By Anonymous - 28/12/2020 20:02 - Australia

Today, after I spent quite some time getting thoughtful gifts for my friend and her kids ahead of their visit, she made a big fuss about how she'd "forgotten" to bring the gift she'd bought for me. Later, she casually admitted that she'd intentionally not bought me anything because she, "didn't think I'd need it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 996

You deserved it 135

Stay strong, sister

By Hurting TransGirl - 25/12/2024 02:00 - United States - Franklin

Today, I sit isolated from my family with presents I cannot give. Though I respect my brother's religious beliefs and life ideals, he chooses to hate mine. He has gone out of his way to refuse patching up our relationship and now my parents who are at his house are not answering their phone. "Merry X-mas…" FML

I agree, your life sucks 513

You deserved it 205

Way too transparent

By Louise - 07/10/2024 03:00 - United States

Today, I got a friend of mine, who I also like, a present for his birthday. When I gave him the present, he winced and told me, “Thanks, this is sweet and all, but I only like you as a friend.” I haven’t even told him how I felt or anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 438

You deserved it 172

Grumpy git

By Anonymous - 03/05/2022 02:00

Today, it's my husband's birthday. I tried to buy him a new computer game, to which he complained. I cooked him steak and his favorite cake, and got him another nice gift instead. Hours later, his online friends bought him a new game and it was the only time I saw him genuinely smile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 222

You deserved it 130

Taking the piss

By birthday girl - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Toledo

Today, it's my birthday. The only thing I received was a bill for a piss test I took earlier this year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 379

You deserved it 4 274

History rocks

By HistoryFreak - 01/02/2013 09:19 - France

Today, I told my parents that what I'd really like for my 21st birthday is the 1865 edition of the Memoirs of Saint-Simon in 22 volumes that I found online for $200, and have been wanting for months. They laughed and said, "Yeah, right. We'll get you an iPhone and perhaps you'll become normal." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 807

You deserved it 9 848

It's my special day

By I give up - 03/06/2022 02:00 - South Africa - Kimberley

Today, for the third day in a row, my wife is bitching about her terrible birthday. She had messages wishing her a happy birthday from her friends instead of actual calls. Also, she knew that my pay comes in the day after, and she agreed to go shopping with me, as opposed to a present on the day. She is 54, going on 7. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 241

You deserved it 281

Nice to know

By Anonymous - 04/06/2016 14:52 - United States - Bethlehem

Today, I tried having some girl time with my mom so I could sneakily figure out what to get her for her birthday. All I could think of in the end was a time machine, after her rant about wishing she'd gotten her tubes tied rather than going through the stress of raising me and my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 293

You deserved it 973

Jumping the gun

By Anonymous - 16/11/2023 16:00

Today, my wife ruined the gift I got for our 10 year anniversary by opening a package that was clearly addressed to me, finding the custom made necklace, and started wearing it straight away. I didn’t even know it had been delivered yet and boom, right there on her neck two weeks early. FML

I agree, your life sucks 717

You deserved it 116

It's the thought that counts, right?

By Anonymous - 22/12/2019 18:00

Today, I decided to buy my Chinese Studies professor a gift from Taiwan, so I got her a mini-Taiwanese passport that said "Republic of China" on it. As it turns out, it was actually a two-pack of travel condoms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 267

You deserved it 2 994

Loud and clear

By Anonymous - 16/05/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, my mother-in-law got me a pair of $2 socks for my birthday. Usually, I don't care… until I found out she got my husband's friend, not even best friend, a $100 gift card, and offered him her free hotel room at the casinos. This is the fifth holiday in a row I've received gifts under $10. FML

I agree, your life sucks 497

You deserved it 92

Merry Christmas, I guess!

By Anonymous - 15/12/2023 15:00 - United States

Today, we did a Secret Santa at work and instead of buying cringe romance novels and candy for this other girl, I bought her a fantasy novel and a bag of dried mangos. When I went to leave for the day, I found both of my thoughtful gifts in the trash can. FML

I agree, your life sucks 302

You deserved it 848

Pass the parcel

By Anonymous - 30/06/2021 10:59

Today, I went to my son's friend's birthday party and felt really proud of giving a great gift. It just so happened that I regifted the same gift that his friend's mother gave to my son the month before, because I forgot to check the name on the bag. It looked like she was about to faint. FML

I agree, your life sucks 201

You deserved it 1 794

Be grateful, you nitwit

By Anonymous - 29/10/2024 07:00 - United States - Flemington

Today, I got my husband a really expensive Bulova watch. He asked for brown. I got him a brown and gold leather watch. He said it looked to much like the cheap $10 watch in his collection and asked if I could exchange it. I can’t - no refunds. Now we are fighting because he can’t express his feelings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 484

You deserved it 133

Where's my shit?

By Taurus_ChicKa - 15/12/2021 08:01 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, a package has been sitting at the post office for two weeks, with a status update of "Arriving Late." I've finally been told the package is most likely lost in a sorting bin, and won't arrive before Christmas. It was a custom-made, commissioned Christmas gift, that took two months to even complete, and can't be replaced. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 031

You deserved it 99

Thanks, I hate it

By Anonymous - 31/08/2023 07:02 - Palau - Angaur State

Today, I got gifted a US MRE Menu 4 Cheese and Veggie Omelette, despite the fact that this crap has been discontinued by the government, as well as probably expired, as a "Thank you for your service" gift. I thought they'd gotten rid of this crap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 560

You deserved it 124

For me?

By Anonymous - 20/01/2023 22:00 - Germany

Today, my boyfriend gave me a very thoughtful gift: A pair of woolen socks, hand-knitted by his mom. They were a size 43. Yes, that’s his size. I wear a 36. FML

I agree, your life sucks 772

You deserved it 114

Dominance

By it’s mine too - 01/03/2022 06:00

Today, and every other birthday I've had, I shared with my cousin whose birthday is 4 days apart from mine. It would be totally fine if I had an opinion on the theme, invitees, and location. Only my cousin gets that privilege apparently. Oh and my presents, if she likes them enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 189

You deserved it 122

Best gift ever

By Vanessa - 04/02/2023 00:00 - United States

Today, my toddler gave me what I thought was a ball of melted chocolate. I held it and sniffed it to be sure… It was a freaking ball of her poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 786

You deserved it 237

Fingers crossed

By NotASize0 - 04/04/2013 15:12 - Denmark

Today, while shopping for a birthday present for my size 0 friend, I picked out a pair of pants for her. When paying, the cashier looked me up and down and said, "Well, you're pretty optimistic aren't you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 702

You deserved it 4 284

Are you calling me a fatass?

By Asl94 - 16/01/2021 05:01

Today, my mom asked me what I wanted as a gift, so I said a Cricut machine. She replied, "You don’t need exercise equipment, you need to eat healthier." A Cricut is a sticker maker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 815

You deserved it 160

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, while fighting with a girl I hate, my nose piercing got a little loose and I ended up snorting it in. That same girl had to take me to the hospital for surgery. She told everyone afterwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 137

You deserved it 1 180

Today, I was tidying my room when my gran came in and offered to help. I said I didn't need any, but she started going through it anyway. She found a tube of "Very Cherry" lube and asked what it was. I subtly tore off the label and tried to convince her it was a face mask. She's taken it to try it out tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 858

You deserved it 9 303

Today, I didn't have my key, so my sister told me to call her to let me in. I called, no answer. I waited for 15 minutes and then called my dad complaining about her, still being outside. She popped her out the window and yelled, "Don't talk about me, bitch!" and wouldn't open the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 109

You deserved it 4 617

Today, I took a nap in my hammock in the backyard. Just as I was dozing off, I heard a loud snap, and the next thing I knew, I was lying on the ground surrounded by broken ropes and a hammock that'd turned into a cocoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 621

You deserved it 114

Today, my husband declared that his “dream” girl is a petite, black-haired Asian girl between the ages of 18-24. I am 37, 5’9, and a blonde Caucasian woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 873

You deserved it 189

Today, my girlfriend screamed at me for throwing away her food, calling me a sick, controlling psycho. When I pointed out that the seafood pasta I tossed was a week old and almost certainly rotten, she dug the box out of the trash and ate it to prove a point. Now she's got food poisoning and somehow it's my fault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 810

You deserved it 121