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The all-time greatest FMLs

Do not feed the workers

By Kellz - 20/07/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, at work, I tried to sneakily open a bag of chips I had hidden in my desk drawer. The bag decided to explode as soon as I tore it open, sending chips flying everywhere. My boss chose that exact moment to walk by and saw me on the floor, frantically picking up chips. FML

I agree, your life sucks 176

You deserved it 439

By Anonymous - 07/06/2009 15:53 - United States

Today, I was playing around with my sister's kitten. As a joke, I put him underneath the sheets and farted. He attacked my nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 176

You deserved it 996

Knock out

By don't rub it in bitch - 13/05/2026 22:00 - Canada - Montreal

Today, I saw a friend from college, who I'd cut ties with after her much older boyfriend convinced her to drop out of college and marry him. She looks amazing and has two beautiful kids, while I'm a struggling obese single mom. She said, "The hoe phase really worked out for you, I see." FML

I agree, your life sucks 176

You deserved it 487

Over the rainbow bridge

By Memelord - 18/03/2022 10:00 - United States - Staten Island

Today, my friend informed me that his dog died. Hoping to cheer him up, I sent him a random meme. My dumb ass mistakenly sent him a meme about dead dogs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 176

You deserved it 1 598

It's never too late

By Anonymous - 19/08/2026 22:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I wish I'd been a whole hell of a lot sluttier and more adventurous in my 20s. Nowadays my libido has me ready to burst, but my partner not so much. I miss feeling wanted and just letting myself get lost in my own pleasure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 176

You deserved it 107

Oh nooooo!

By Grow up - 13/03/2026 00:00

Today, my husband has been sulking because he got the urge to play Runescape and discovered that his old account was hacked and he lost all his fake money and items. FML

I agree, your life sucks 176

You deserved it 354

One hand freestyle

By Clumsy idiot - 27/10/2023 16:00 - United States

Today, I got way too used to using two oven mitts at once to take food out of the oven since I'm so clumsy. So, when I tried to take food out of the oven with the only one oven mitt I could find… Well, take a wild guess what happened. Go on, just try and guess it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 176

You deserved it 382

What about king-size chocolate bars?

By marie - 15/08/2022 04:00 - United States - Denver

Today, I took away my daughter’s candy bar, saying, “Princesses never eat sweets.” She spent the next few hours crying, because she “didn’t want to be a princess anymore." FML

I agree, your life sucks 176

You deserved it 2 449

Where are you?

By Anonymous - 31/07/2025 22:00 - Canada - Montreal

Today, I spent 20 minutes calling for my cat, worried she’d escaped. I found her in the bathroom, sitting in the sink, calmly watching me yell her name. She didn’t even flinch. I realized I’d been shouting “Fluffy!” at the open window. All my neighbors now probably know my cat’s name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 176

You deserved it 363

Anger management

By Emily - 07/12/2022 18:00

Today, I was mad at my boyfriend, so I yanked the power cord for his computer while he was gaming. Turns out, that fried part of his computer and now it won't turn on. He broke up with me, even after I apologized, and offered to replace the part. FML

I agree, your life sucks 176

You deserved it 2 544

Let me down gently

By Abbyyyy - 20/11/2023 00:00

Today, I was in the park making out with a guy I’m seeing when I heard a familiar voice say, “Abby?” It was the guy who was trying to get with me for months but I told him I wasn’t ready for a relationship, rather than tell him that he was too ugly for me. If looks could kill… FML

I agree, your life sucks 176

You deserved it 1 008

It's pronounced Renesmée

By Anonymous - 05/03/2024 22:00 - United States - Virginia Beach

Today, I told my boyfriend in a joking manner that he says my name slightly incorrectly. Now he’s mad I didn’t tell him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 176

You deserved it 497

Easy mistake

By Anonymous - 30/06/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I accidentally left the store with a bag full of groceries without paying. I realized this halfway to my car when an employee chased me down, thinking I was a thief. Turns out, I had spaced out and walked out during a fire alarm drill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 176

You deserved it 471

I'm a mess

By Anonymous - 26/08/2024 12:00 - Canada - Gatineau

Today, I was at my usual grocery store when an elderly lady smiled at me and said, "It's so nice to see a young person not obsessed with their appearance." I was dressed in sweats, I hadn't showered, and hadn't brushed my hair. I’m not sure if I should be flattered or insulted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 176

You deserved it 373

HOW VERY DARE YOU?

By Fear of the unflushed…for life, the sentencing. - 10/06/2023 15:00 - United States

Today, I pooped in a drug store bathroom but forgot to flush. I left to go find my mom and found her in the toy section. I guess after I had walked away oblivious, a woman had walked into the bathroom behind me and found the kids I'd abandoned. She then came and found my mom and me, then yelled at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 176

You deserved it 1 294

DDLG

By Anonymous - 20/09/2025 12:00

Today, I accidentally said "Yes Daddy” to my boyfriend while at dinner with his parents. They threw me out. My boyfriend did nothing to defend me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 176

You deserved it 539

Level up

By WhoamI? - 12/09/2025 03:00

Today, I got a bad performance rating at my new job. I was very depressed, and a colleague tried to console me. He said, "You're doing a good job for a level 59." which is a junior developer. I'm a level 63, a senior developer and a level above him. I don't know what hurt me more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 176

You deserved it 223

University challenge

By Anonymous - 15/06/2026 03:00 - United Kingdom - Liverpool

Today, I got selected to participate in a trivia night after trying for ages. First question: "What is the capital city of Australia?" My brain completely stopped functioning and I confidently and incorrectly answered "Sydney." I've spent most of my life knowing the correct answer, but my brain wouldn't let me remember it when it mattered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 176

You deserved it 248

Triangle

By Anonymous - 05/02/2024 09:00 - France - Paris

Today, after I started dating a guy and a girl simultaneously to keep my options open, they turned out to be siblings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 175

You deserved it 1 053

Spluttering and confused

By Anonymous - 02/09/2024 20:00 - Ireland

Today, I was in a supermarket using the self-checkout. I tried to scan a loaf of bread, but it wouldn't register. After several attempts and increasing frustration, I slammed the loaf down on the scanner. The bread tore open, and seeds flew everywhere. An old woman behind me said, "Technology can be hard for the young, too." FML

I agree, your life sucks 175

You deserved it 592

Been there, done that

By Anonymous - 13/11/2024 03:00 - United States - Houston

Today, I confidently told a joke at a party, only to completely butcher the punchline. Everyone still laughed… at me instead of the joke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 175

You deserved it 343

Incinerate

By Laurence - 07/11/2024 09:00 - United States - Memphis

Today, while cooking dinner, I managed to set my oven mitt on fire. In my panic, I tried to throw it in the sink, but it landed on a stack of t-shirts, which were lying on the counter. Both the mitt and my favorite Sonic Youth t-shirt now have matching burn holes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 175

You deserved it 436

Big Brother shopping task IRL

By Anonymous - 19/10/2023 07:30 - Germany

Today, I sent an important email to my entire team, but I accidentally left a shopping list as the subject line. They responded with grocery items they needed. Nobody mentioned the email content. FML

I agree, your life sucks 175

You deserved it 694

Cheating cheater

By Anonymous - 04/04/2021 17:01

Today, one of our local news stations decided it was the perfect day to film random people at the beach. I saw myself on TV, holding hands with my side chick. I hope my girlfriend doesn’t watch the news. FML

I agree, your life sucks 175

You deserved it 4 133

Cheers, Doc

By Anonymous - 28/01/2023 00:00

Today, I accidentally swallowed a piece of gum. My doctor says it'll pass in 7-10 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 175

You deserved it 796

First of all… why?

By Brown Sandman - 25/12/2021 16:59

Today, I learned that there is no way to talk your way out of getting caught drunkenly wiping your ass on your best friend’s sister’s pillow, even if you yell, “SURPRISE!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 175

You deserved it 1 932

Mistakes were made

By Lewis - 04/12/2018 00:30 - France - Paris

He told you...

I agree, your life sucks 175

You deserved it 315

Classic

By Anonymous - 13/10/2025 00:00

Today, I threw all my clothes into the washer, including my favorite red hoodie. Apparently, I forgot a Kleenex in one of the pockets. I now own a wardrobe of pink, soggy tissue confetti-covered gunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 174

You deserved it 341

Caught in 404p

By Anonymous - 13/04/2023 16:00 - Taiwan - Taichung

Today, I had a job interview at Walmart. They showed a video of me stealing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 174

You deserved it 2 040

Justice served

By ToiletPrankster - 15/03/2022 06:00

Today, I thought it would be funny to prank call my job on my day off. I star 69’ed the numbers and prank called my coworkers. However, when I got to my boss, he knew who I was, and threatened to report me to the police. I’d forgotten to star 69. Safe to say, I was fired on my day off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 174

You deserved it 3 404

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The Top

Today, I'm supposed to go to my girlfriend's house for Christmas with her family. I got a text from her saying that her dad found our used condom package from last night. I'm supposed to be there in 3 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 019

You deserved it 3 227

Today, I felt some serious gas building up while at the supermarket. I tried to quietly fart it out, only to end up sharting myself. I had to frantically waddle out of the store as discreetly as possible as several people in the vicinity freaked out and tried to locate the source of the smell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 600

You deserved it 4 376

Today, I parked my car in a garage that cost $13 for every 10 minutes past 10 o'clock. When I came back to the garage at 10, I had forgotten where I parked it and spent an hour looking for it. I paid $78 to lose my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 832

You deserved it 41 849

Today, as a waitress I served someone who was hoping their food would come back faster than expected. I replied, “Fingers crossed!” just for the person to show me they had no hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 926

You deserved it 131

Today, while I was babysitting, one of the kids looked at me very seriously and asked, “Why do you have sad eyes like my dad did after he lost all his money?” I don’t even know the kid’s dad. I just wanted to make mac and cheese. FML

I agree, your life sucks 374

You deserved it 87

Today, I sent my ex nudes and then asked him if he saved them, only for him to reply with, "Nah, they weren't nude enough." Mind you, he cheated on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 88

You deserved it 427