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The all-time greatest FMLs

Meddling

By Anonymous - 22/04/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, I found out my mom has been randomly searching my room. I've asked her repeatedly to stop, but she says it's her right as a parent. In retaliation I started searching their room when they were out, and found porn mags and DVDs. I confronted mom about it. Long story short, dad's in a hotel. What have I done?! FML

I agree, your life sucks 372

You deserved it 760

Take a look at this shit

By Sara - 13/03/2026 15:00

Today, I went to the doctor for advice on the horrid diarrhea problem I have, because I go every thirty minutes. Luckily, I had two very big stool samples to give my doctor when I got there. Why? Due to slow drivers and hitting ALL the red lights, it took an hour to get to the doctor's. Life sure is good when it's easygoing, huh? FML

I agree, your life sucks 372

You deserved it 70

Never gonna happen

By Fuck the rich - 23/06/2026 12:00 - United States - Norfolk

Today, my dad explained to me that it's actually a "good thing" that we have a trillionaire in America now, because he builds rockets, and those are cool or something. WEALTH. TAX. NOW. FML

I agree, your life sucks 372

You deserved it 291

Let down

By Anonymous - 26/01/2025 20:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I went on a date with a sweet guy who was 6”11 tall, a size 14 shoe, a 55 inch chest from all his gym muscles, hands like baseball gloves, and gorgeous green eyes… all attached to a 3 inch penis that I could barely feel, and that lasted barely 15 seconds. The foreplay was shit too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 372

You deserved it 557

You really shouldn't have!

By Anonymous - 10/04/2025 20:00 - United States - Rancho Santa Margarita

Today, for my birthday this year, my girlfriend gave me Herpes (type 2) and this morning she decided to wake me up to tell me she wants to see other people. But she "still loves me.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 372

You deserved it 87

Rollercoaster

By thathoe - 13/11/2021 02:00 - United States - Cloquet

Today, I found I’m pregnant. I hooked up with my ex when my now boyfriend and I had broken up for a week. My ex doesn’t want kids. It’s most likely my ex's kid. My boyfriend has now proposed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 372

You deserved it 2 950

Buyers' market

By Anonymous - 01/05/2026 15:00 - Canada - Montreal

Today, I'm a 34 year-old single woman on the dating apps. A guy suggested we try a swing dance lesson as our first date. I said yes. We had a good time both of us and we exchanged numbers. Later I got a text from him saying he had a connection with another match, but we should remain friends for another dance "date". Dude is 43. FML

I agree, your life sucks 372

You deserved it 107

Red tape

By Anonymous - 20/06/2026 22:00 - United States - Reno

Today, after spending 40 minutes on the phone with an IRS agent to change my address, and after she asked me how to spell Reno, then she put Reno as a state. and Nevada as a city. She’s not able to help me because my address does not exist and now I have to send in the paper form. FML

I agree, your life sucks 372

You deserved it 57

Enjoy it while it lasts, bucko

By Employed - 25/05/2025 12:00 - United States - Fort Dodge

Today, during an argument, my boyfriend had the nerve to tell me he'll make more than me at his new job that he starts next week. He can't keep a job for more than six months. I've been working at my job for over two years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 372

You deserved it 108

Joy to the world

By Anonymous - 26/12/2024 15:00 - Germany

Today, for Christmas, I got the 3-month anniversary of a constant cold and cough, my period, plus the diagnosis that I have been secretly left-handed for 40 years, and need to switch sides now if I want to unfuck my physical and mental health. What I still don't have are decent boots - I've been hunting them for 3 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 372

You deserved it 160

I'M SORRY!

By Anonymous - 25/08/2023 04:00

Today, I got back at my boyfriend for sticking the hoover nozzle in my mouth as a prank by doing the exact same thing to him. Unfortunately, it must have burst a blood vessel in his lip because it swelled right up and his entire lower jaw on the right side is just one massive bruise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 372

You deserved it 615

To each their own

By engagedtoafreak - 23/03/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I took off my socks after I got home from the gym. Later, I found my fiance sniffing them, with an enormous boner in his pants. Ew. Ewwww. FML

I agree, your life sucks 372

You deserved it 193

Many such cases

By Lonely Melanie - 20/11/2025 20:00

Today, in a bustling store, a woman waved at me. I didn’t recognize her but waved back enthusiastically and approached her. She frowned and said, “I was waving at my daughter.” Her daughter was behind me. A store clerk saw the whole thing and said, “Happens a lot to lonely people.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 372

You deserved it 116

Scared flaccid

By Anonymous - 01/04/2026 20:00

Today, my boyfriend met my dad and my brother, and is now shit scared of them. I was hoping to lose my virginity to him this weekend but he’s so scared of what my dad would do if he ever found out that he couldn’t get hard no matter what I did. Thanks a lot dad, you bastard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 372

You deserved it 153

Music is noise

By Anonymous - 20/05/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, during a first date, we somehow got onto the topic of music, and I admitted I’d never listened to one of his favorite albums all the way through. He stared at me like I’d admitted I couldn’t read. The rest of dinner became a passionate TED Talk about artistic genius while I nodded in silence and ate fries. FML

I agree, your life sucks 372

You deserved it 64

Stick the landing

By Anonymous - 30/12/2024 03:00 - Canada

Today, I confidently told a funny story during a holiday family dinner. Nobody laughed, except my younger cousin, who snorted so hard at the way I'd flopped into complete silence, he sprayed cranberry sauce across the table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 372

You deserved it 139

Mom knows best

By Anonymous - 16/08/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, my mom once again told me that I'm too young and immature to get married, and that I don't know what love is. I'm 29, have a successful career, own my own home, and am financially stable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 372

You deserved it 68

Lonesome tonight

By FriendzonedAFBoi - 24/03/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I realized that in order to get a girl, I have to lose 100lbs and/or get facial reconstruction. If I meet a girl, we get close, I do everything to make her happy, only to be told, “I only like you as a friend.” I also get told that I’d make a “great boyfriend” yet they don’t choose me. Being overlooked sucks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 372

You deserved it 355

Classic nice guy rhetoric

By Anonymous - 13/09/2023 00:02

Today, the girl I like would rather meet potential partners online, some in different states, and wonders why nothing works out. Apparently the guy who took her on dates, AKA me, is just friend material. FML

I agree, your life sucks 371

You deserved it 849

A for Effort, but…

By Anonymous - 28/05/2025 12:00 - United States - Portland

Today, I woke up to balloons, streamers, and my roommates yelling “SURPRISE!” Unfortunately, they got the wrong day. My birthday is next week, and now I'll probably have to pretend to be surprised again in seven days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 371

You deserved it 101

Learn from the master

By Moni - 07/12/2023 12:00

Today, I received a LinkedIn connection request from my mom. Turns out, she's way better at networking than I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 371

You deserved it 194

Who's to blame?

By WhoopsIDidItAgain - 21/02/2022 22:00 - United States - Morgantown

Today, I forgot about the second half of a really important job interview. Guess I'll just drop out because now I can't afford college. FML

I agree, your life sucks 371

You deserved it 984

Sticking with you

By Anonymous - 03/06/2025 15:00 - Syria

Today, I went on a volunteering trip with a team. We had only a pickup car for like 20 people, so 5 of us squeezed in the back seats while the rest hopped on the back. My knee got stuck right on another guy's crotch and it was impossible for us to change position. We stayed for 40 minutes like that, me feeling his penis the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 371

You deserved it 148

Nil - nil

By Anonymous - 08/04/2025 15:00 - United States - Kansas City

Today, I got into an online debate about reproductive rights, healthcare, gun laws, and education in the US, all in one thread. Someone told me, “This is the greatest country in the world.” I asked, “Based on what?” He blocked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 371

You deserved it 300

It's not a phase… or maybe it is

By Anonymous - 07/05/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, we found out my niece has been faking all her issues in order to keep up her “damaged, beautiful disaster” online persona. She went too far and ended up on a 72hr hold. Now she’s screaming, crying, and begging to come home because the hospital is “too scary.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 371

You deserved it 91

Magic!

By Floppy arm - 08/06/2026 22:00 - United States - Amarillo

Today, my nephew asked if I wanted to see a magic trick. I humored him and let him give it a go. He covered my phone with a blanket, counted to three, and revealed that it had "disappeared." The little genius had dropped it into a fish tank while I wasn't looking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 371

You deserved it 90

Glow up

By Ciana - 23/05/2026 12:00 - United States - Charlotte

Today, my ex, who physically and emotionally abused me, is in a happy marriage. His new wife is glowing and they have a kid, with another on the way. So basically, he was capable of being a Prince Charming who could give another woman her happily ever after, just not for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 371

You deserved it 134

Let it all dangle

By Anonymous - 08/10/2023 14:30 - United States

Today, my 76 year-old mother-in-law stayed the night at our house. I bumped into her on the way to the bathroom during the night. She discovered I sleep naked. Sadly, I found out that she does, too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 371

You deserved it 811

The growth

By Deenadd - 19/10/2023 16:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, I discovered an open wound right above my penis. I can’t put a Bandaid on it because the hair down there repels it. There’s something repulsive about seeing something like that on your own body, especially when you just want to jerk off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 371

You deserved it 337

Parroting

By Anonymous - 06/07/2024 00:00 - Australia

Today, my toddler repeated a very inappropriate word I'd said when I'd stubbed my toe. He chose to do this in the middle of a crowded supermarket, loudly, and repeatedly. Now the whole town probably thinks I have questionable parenting skills. FML

I agree, your life sucks 371

You deserved it 224

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The Top

Today, my husband has been painting our house all weekend and plans to finish the job after work today. I decided to surprise him by completing the job myself. Painting the last window frame, I dropped the open tin of white paint, right onto our car roof. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 749

You deserved it 10 814

Today, I got back from a 3 and a half week trip to South Africa to do volunteer work with children in townships. My parents forgot to pick me up, and I had to sit there by myself and wait for them, while 80 people of the same organization got loving hugs from their proud parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 607

You deserved it 3 838

Today, I was chewed out by my boss for reporting someone not wearing a mask in our store, because, "no one likes a snitch." I'm the security guard. It's my job to report that to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 189

You deserved it 164

Today, I tried to prank my brother with the butter floor prank after coming back from work. As a result, my brother stepped out of ER with an arm cast, stitches on his head and a neck collar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 160

You deserved it 2 282

Today, I was hungover the day of my cousin's wedding and fell asleep in the limo. I woke up to everyone telling me we had arrived, so I got out and started mingling. It took me a minute to realise I didn’t know anyone. Those bastards had dropped me at someone else’s wedding as a prank and drove off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 266

You deserved it 1 145

Today, I returned home after a long day, and wanted a snack of the Deluxe Mixed nuts I purchased yesterday. The only thing in the container was almonds and peanuts. My husband admitted he sorted through the nuts then closed the container up so it looked like it had never been opened. FML, and maybe my husband too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 474

You deserved it 94