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The all-time greatest FMLs

Never crush on company time

By Anonymous - 25/02/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, I sent a heartfelt text to my crush confessing my feelings. I was over the moon when I saw they were typing a response. Turns out they were just asking if I could cover their shift at work. Rejected and now on the night shift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 413

You deserved it 259

Well travelled

By Loserville - 05/10/2023 06:30 - Australia

Today, we were flying to Australia from New York with an 8-hour layover in New Zealand. We didn’t know where the hotel was, so we caught a taxi. The hotel was literally across from where the taxi picked us up. He did a full loop of the airport, dropped us off where he picked us up, and charged $50 due to "airport tax." FML

I agree, your life sucks 413

You deserved it 986

Down and out

By Anonymous - 08/05/2024 15:00 - Germany - Jesteburg

Today, I diagnosed myself with a debilitating case of vicious circle: I am now too depressed to do the things that usually manage to pull me out of my depression. FML

I agree, your life sucks 413

You deserved it 163

Maddening

By Anonymous - 26/03/2024 06:00 - United States - Warren

Today, and for the umpteenth time, my cellphone customer service told me that I have to talk to the FCC due to a screwup on both sides in my cellphone plan. The thing is, I can't get around their stupid automated system, 0 is disabled and I don't want to brute force the 20 other numbers to find a living, breathing human. FML

I agree, your life sucks 413

You deserved it 112

Winning, so much winning

By Anonymous - 11/03/2026 15:00

Today, and for the past 6 months of unemployment, I’ve realized my life is spiraling downward fast. Years of hard work, sacrifice, honors from top schools, and constant validation, JUST TO GET BRUTALLY ASSFUCKED BY THE GODDAMN JOB MARKET. It feels like everything I worked for went down the drain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 413

You deserved it 127

Halloween is near

By Party's Over - 28/10/2025 20:00

Today, like we do every year, we watched a documentary show's annual Halloween special. Everything is set: food, location, the works. Our so-called uber-religious mom, who always opposes to this because it's "inauspicious", right before it started, hijacked the TV to stay in one channel, The 24-Hour Bible Channel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 413

You deserved it 88

Surprise!

By Anonymous - 26/06/2026 22:00 - United States - Youngstown

Today, after I spent months assisting my 'work bestie' with planning/arranging her "Surprise!" wedding, Surprise! I wasn't invited. FML

I agree, your life sucks 413

You deserved it 65

The *****

By Anonymous - 01/04/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, it really feels like I ain’t even got organs, because no matter what I eat or drink, that shit goes straight down and out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 413

You deserved it 104

The end of an era

By Anonymous - 19/04/2025 03:00 - Netherlands

Today, my grown-ass son is refusing to get out of bed because some anime shark girl he watches is quitting YouTube. FML

I agree, your life sucks 413

You deserved it 112

Meltdown

By Anonymous - 10/01/2026 00:00

Today, my neighbor heard me watching a YouTube tutorial for how to do a simple fix on my car engine and he half jokingly asked why my dad didn’t teach me anything growing up. My dad was just inside the front door and heard him say it. They ended up fighting in the street. FML

I agree, your life sucks 413

You deserved it 77

Throw them into a volcano

By stinkstinkman - 07/12/2023 06:00 - United States - Ashburn

Today, I failed to notice a nice ripe pile of dog poop on my front yard until I got to work. I tried to clean my shoe off with alcohol wipes in the bathroom. Not only did it barely work, the wipes are non-flushable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 413

You deserved it 177

Make it make sense

By Not420Friendly - 01/09/2025 22:00 - United States - North Hollywood

Today, I fixed my car starter for $700 because I worked as a delivery driver for a weed company. I went into work and my boss promptly fired me. For fixing a car. To do my job. Which I need, to pay off the car. He even smiled as he said, “Well this is gonna be real awkward for you.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 413

You deserved it 106

Two holes

By Anonymous - 23/02/2024 09:00 - United States - Vero Beach

Today, my cat woke me up at 12 AM. After I told her to chill, I realized the mattress needed some air. Inflating it didn't work so I looked for the puncture wound. While trying to find a hot glue stick to patch it with, I got a thin shard of glass in my foot, which broke while I tried to get it out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 413

You deserved it 119

Never go public

By Anonymous - 07/04/2021 20:00

Today, I learned to keep your posts private on social media. Your boss might find your Facebook status updates saying, “I hate this shitty 9-5, I want to be on a beach with a margarita.” I got a call from him saying, “You’re terminated from the shitty 9-5, so you don’t have to anymore. Enjoy the beach!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 412

You deserved it 2 762

My forever home

By Anonymous - 01/05/2025 12:00 - Czechia - Prague

Today, my father gave me the best birthday gift, a piece of real estate. I got a grave, which is leased. FML

I agree, your life sucks 412

You deserved it 68

Just for a day

By Anonymous - 23/01/2026 12:00

Today, my daughter’s teacher tried to inconspicuously slide me a pamphlet for AA. When I asked her why, she told me that my daughter shared with the class that “Mommy drinks funny stuff from a bottle every single night and it tastes real bad!” Kombucha. I drink kombucha. FML

I agree, your life sucks 412

You deserved it 103

Desperate

By Alone 5eva - 04/11/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, my cheating ex is still happily married with his new wife and kids 4 years after he left me for her. Meanwhile, I keep getting ghosted, left on “Read/Seen”, and getting a guy to be into me is like pulling teeth. I think it’s time to throw the towel on love and die alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 412

You deserved it 232

Upping the stakes

By Anonymous - 06/10/2023 05:00 - Australia

Today, I was at a wedding and caught the bouquet. My boyfriend of five years panicked and proposed on the spot, thinking I was hinting at something. I just wanted to catch some flowers, but I had to tell him to get a grip without hurting his feelings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 412

You deserved it 721

By Anonymous - 10/11/2010 01:31 - United States

Today, there was an animal rummaging around in my trashcan, so I kicked the trashcan to see what it was. The fox then chased me for three blocks to find out what I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 412

You deserved it 183

No dice

By Anonymous - 24/07/2026 22:00 - United States - Calera

Today, I interviewed with a company 5 times over the course of 7 weeks. It was going really well and although not my dream job, it would provide a step up for my family. I got the offer letter at 1 PM! As I’m reading it, I realize it’s actually addressed to the other finalist. Sent to me, not for me. Offer rescinded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 412

You deserved it 54

Sounds more like a "you" problem

By Anonymous - 15/08/2021 08:01

Today, I was hanging out with friends of the opposite sex, which is the norm for me as I don’t get along with most women. Every time I spoke, I got ignored or spoken over, and they kept asking me what was wrong. Ugh, men. FML

I agree, your life sucks 412

You deserved it 1 260

The price of Floof

By Renee Cashmore - 30/07/2024 09:00 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I dropped $1600 at the emergency vet because I thought my 14 year-old cat was constipated or obstructed. He was neither. He just had lots of gas in his intestines. I paid $1600 to find out my cat needed to fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 412

You deserved it 155

Judgement Day

By Anonymous - 06/05/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, I was walking through the grocery store with my new baby daughter, when an old woman came up to me and spat, "If you whores would keep your legs together, you wouldn't be a mom at fifteen." I'm eighteen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 412

You deserved it 537

What would you do?

By Anonymous - 06/03/2026 12:00

Today, I learned that repairing my car will cost more than it's worth. I'm barely making it paycheck to paycheck and I had to sleep in that car several nights this week after getting thrown out of my sister's house. Now I need a room AND a car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 412

You deserved it 101

Rocks

By Anonymous - 05/02/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, I baked my boyfriend his favorite cookies for his birthday. Well, I tried. I followed the recipe, but they somehow turned out diamond hard. When he tried to bite into one, he chipped a tooth. Instead of being mad, he laughed and said, “At least you tried.” Now I’m stuck with inedible cookies and a dentist's bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 412

You deserved it 150

Too late

By Kelly - 09/10/2025 09:00

Today, I stayed late at work to finish a project. The lights are motion-sensor activated, and they turned off while I was in the bathroom. I stumbled out in total darkness and screamed when I saw a shadowy figure. It was the janitor. He screamed too. We both apologized to each other for way too long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 412

You deserved it 100

Nice guy

By HateCelebz - 27/01/2026 00:00

Today, I got written up by my line manager for being too friendly to customers. I work in retail, my job is to be friendly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 412

You deserved it 53

Wurdz is hard

By Anonymous - 18/07/2024 12:00 - Ireland

Today, during a job interview, the interviewer asked me to "tell me a little about myself." Nervous, I started with, "Well, I was born at a very young age…" I'm pretty sure I won’t get the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 412

You deserved it 209

I can fix him

By Anonymous - 05/10/2024 22:00 - South Africa - Cape Town

Today, I realised I'm like the Mary Poppins of dating. I keep meeting these broken men, I help them through their stuff, only for them to date someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 412

You deserved it 137

Ripped

By Anonymous - 17/07/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, I’m sick and tired of women disrespecting my relationship. They come up and openly flirt with my man right in front of me, because no one thinks we’re together. I know it’s because he’s ripped like a Greek god while I’m 300lbs. He loves me as I am, I just wish other people would get it too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 412

You deserved it 210

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The Top

Today, while getting ready for a job interview, I sneezed while brushing my teeth, splattering toothpaste everywhere and ruining my brand new dress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 959

You deserved it 4 791

Today, I went to get a physical, forgetting I'd shaved my pubes the day before and still had bad razor burn. My doctor told me I had "dicken pox" and was prescribing me with shaving cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 526

You deserved it 7 251

Today, as I was opening the door for my boyfriend, I pressed my boobs against the glass to make him laugh. I didn't see his dad standing just behind him at first, but he certainly saw me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 412

You deserved it 10 927

Today, I got the ending to Breaking Bad spoiled for me by a cashier while I was buying the final season box-set. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 922

You deserved it 4 285

Today, my friend and I got into such a heated debate the police had to be called. The debate was about Whitney Houston. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 201

You deserved it 32 924

Today, I was getting ready to make love to my boyfriend for the first time. I wear shapewear shorts to keep my FUPA and thighs under control, so when I removed those, he recoiled and said, “Fuck that shit, what happened to your body?” He promptly dumped me for “catfishing” him and told me to leave his house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 354

You deserved it 689