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The all-time greatest FMLs

Bite the bullet

By Anonymous - 05/01/2026 00:00

Today, I got terminated. I don’t know how to tell my family that I no longer have a job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 493

You deserved it 75

YOU MUST CONFORM

By Brandnew102 - 30/06/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, I realized that being 60 pounds lighter has made every guy that crossed my path worship the ground I walk on. When I had the weight, guys would flinch at me, or not give me the time of day. I just want to be treated as a human being, no matter what size I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 493

You deserved it 270

Cheapskate

By Anonymous - 19/08/2024 16:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to tell my daughter that the gold wedding ring her fiancé gave her as proof he was serious about the wedding is actually just a brass compression ring, worth less than a quid. She refuses to believe me, because I’ve never liked him. I’m a plumber; I know a brass ring when I see one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 493

You deserved it 76

Clean living

By Anonymous - 22/02/2025 15:00 - Australia

Today, I wasn’t hungover at work for a change, after quitting heavy drinking of 10+ years. My boss accused me of being “high as a kite on drugs”, because I was “suspiciously chirpy.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 493

You deserved it 112

Lovable but annoying

By Anonymous - 09/07/2025 09:00 - United States - Great Falls

Today, I was in Barnes & Noble and some asshole was walking around with his phone on speaker to hear the baseball game. That asshole was my husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 493

You deserved it 146

Bad doggies

By Fuck dogs, I need a treadmill - 23/02/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, I went for a walk. I was repeatedly barked at, and almost attacked, by nearly a dozen dogs. I have cynophobia from being nearly killed by violent untrained dogs on several occasions, so just hearing a dog bark gives me severe heart palpitations. I'm not kidding when I say I almost had a heart attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 493

You deserved it 179

DELETE! DELETE!

By Mandi - 05/12/2022 16:00

Today, I accidentally called my boss and left a voicemail as I was yelling to my kid, "I NEED TOILET PAPER TO WIPE MY BUTT! WHERE IS ALL THE TOILET PAPER?!" Followed by me yelling something like, "STOP WATCHING ME WIPE MY BUTT!" immediately after my kid walked in with baby wipes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 493

You deserved it 952

Winning

By Winter break - 20/12/2023 09:00 - United States

Today, It's been two years since I graduated from high school. The people in my grade excluded me from social activities and wouldn't talk to me. I dropped out of college when the same trends ensued and people treated me the same. For now, at 20, I serve drive-thru to people who bullied me, on their way to party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 493

You deserved it 323

Own it

By Anonymous - 17/02/2023 06:00

Today, I was entertaining my niece at the family lunch by painting my lip with calamari ink. My father told me I looked like Ursula, from The Little Mermaid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 493

You deserved it 382

Bye bye doggie

By Anonymous - 14/03/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, our chocolate Labrador ran away. My dad adopted it because he really wanted a hunting dog, promising he'd be in charge of its training and feeding. I ended up getting saddled with that instead. The dog was so hyper it was untrainable, and dad blamed me when it burst out of its kennel and bolted into the night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 493

You deserved it 138

Dodgy CV

By lordoftheweird - 31/01/2024 09:00 - Canada - Kamloops

Today, a former employee is claiming he was fired because of his race. He was fired for not telling us he's a special needs adult who flunked out of school in the fourth grade. FML

I agree, your life sucks 493

You deserved it 154

More proofreading required

By Anonymous - 20/05/2024 12:00 - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Today, I sent a text to my boss saying, "Looking forward to our meeting tomorrow." Autocorrect changed it to, "Looking forward to our mating tomorrow." My boss replied with, "I think you meant meeting. Let's keep it professional shall we." FML

I agree, your life sucks 493

You deserved it 171

Too late

By Anonymous - 13/03/2024 09:00 - United States - Arcadia

Today, I worked my two jobs. During my first job, my mom took my car to LA and was late coming back. On my way to my second job, as soon as I got off the freeway the exit to my job was closed due to a protest for Palestine. If you want to protest, at least do it on a day when I don't have to work my second job, please. FML

I agree, your life sucks 492

You deserved it 190

Life is life

By Anonymous - 01/07/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, I spent a good hour playing a life simulation game so my character could go through the stages of pregnancy and labor, only to jealously cry for an hour because my character can successfully get pregnant and have a baby, and I can't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 492

You deserved it 254

By Rizma - 27/11/2014 15:12 - France - Gr?ces

Today, I went off for a jog. Outside, I saw my really cute neighbour, so in an effort to appear sporty, I accelerated and kept my head up. As I got close, I smiled at him, just when a huge fly flew right up my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 492

You deserved it 85

Convoluted

By TheDivorceCameFromNoWhere - 14/06/2026 03:00 - Germany

Today, I give my everything to my family and husband. Every penny I earn, hot meals daily, a clean house, and love. Despite all this, my husband asked me why I am still alive and told me to go and die. On my birthday. All because I mildly offended his third cousin against a ridiculous request. FML

I agree, your life sucks 492

You deserved it 78

By aveugle - 09/04/2011 11:28 - Turquie

Today, I walked into a mirror in a shop. No one would have known had my face not stayed printed on it due to my make-up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 492

You deserved it 294

Classic bro moment

By Basic respect desired - 01/02/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and his friend were talking politics when my boyfriend referred to several female politicians as "yappy feminist scolds." They both laughed like oafs. I couldn't kick them both out fast enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 492

You deserved it 323

Work harder

By hank - 06/07/2024 20:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, every time I go out with my friend, we get approached by girls. He’s taken, so he’s offered to be my wingman. Every time the girls find out he’s taken and I'm the single one, they tell us how they were only interested in him. I’m working my ass off trying to improve myself, and these are my results. FML

I agree, your life sucks 492

You deserved it 147

Watch your step

By Anonymous - 14/01/2024 06:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I have now reached the point in the financial landslide of my life that the only thing of value I have managed to hold on to is my life insurance policy, which I just manage to pay for every month. It says something that I am now actually worth more dead than alive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 492

You deserved it 100

Relationship goals

By Anonymous - 08/04/2023 00:00

Today, I'm thinking about cheating on my fiancée with someone who will actually love me, not control me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 492

You deserved it 1 330

Trust issues

By Anonymous - 23/12/2023 20:00 - United States - Warren

Today, I ended up shitting myself when trying to pass what I thought was a small amount of gas, only for it to be diarrhea. I turned 37 last month. Never trust a fart, right? FML

I agree, your life sucks 492

You deserved it 226

Sympathetic

By Sorry kitty - 14/05/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I was sick during the night and had to puke. I had no bucket or trashcan nearby, so I ended up puking on the floor. However, because it was so dark, I didn't notice my cat lying in the exact spot where I puked. She was not amused, giving me the mother of all death glares before she started puking herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 492

You deserved it 157

Take a break

By Anonymous - 04/05/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I really had to take a shit. My coworker had gone on lunch break and I was alone in the shop. There were no customers, so to the can I went. Cue a long series of loud wet farts and splashes, followed by the flush. I emerged to see the horrified face of some old lady and her grandson who'd heard everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 492

You deserved it 127

Dating is hell

By Pauline - 14/04/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, after I finally matched with someone who could spell, had a job, and liked dogs. Mid-date, he said climate change is a hoax and offered me Ivermectin for my allergies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 492

You deserved it 178

His little secret

By Kayla - 06/03/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of over a year still refuses to acknowledge our relationship on social media because he “wants to keep things private.” He posts about his dogs, his car, gym selfies, his beer outings with the boys, even his favorite team scores, but when it comes to me, suddenly it’s “I want to keep it private.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 492

You deserved it 204

Sussy

By Poorasfolk - 16/09/2025 15:00

Today, I went to a Louis Vuitton store to get my wife the handbag she's wanted for ages. As soon as I walked in, the staff gave me dirty, suspicious looks and kept hovering around me. When I went to pay for the $2270 handbag in cash, they immediately became nice and welcoming towards me. This is the society I live in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 492

You deserved it 89

Quickie

By Anonymous - 11/02/2024 06:00 - United Kingdom

Today, when my boyfriend came over he was on his phone. We spent about 15 minutes together before having sex, then he made a phone call and said he had to leave. I could hear him from my window apologising to his coworker because he “just had to do something real quick but was now free to talk again.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 492

You deserved it 176

Tough luck

By Anonymous - 23/10/2025 12:00

Today, as if it wasn’t bad enough my dumbass daughter would seduce and hookup with my boyfriends throughout her teenage years, she’s now ruined her own marriage by sleeping with married men, and wants to move back in with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 492

You deserved it 198

Oh look, a big red flag!

By fmlmvlijthen - 29/09/2024 16:00 - Netherlands

Today, the girl I've been seeing for two months and with whom I'm in love with, asked me, whilst she's on holiday celebrating her birthday, whether I would pay for a male escort for her as a birthday gift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 492

You deserved it 158

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The Top

Today, I went to get my hair cut. My stylist had the greatest tattoo of a rat on her arm. I spent the whole appointment thinking about how cool the tattoo was, and what an interesting person she must be to choose such a thing. So I complimented her on it and she said, "Oh it's a wolf." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 346

You deserved it 7 198

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend, and I said something grammatically wrong during it. He chose to correct it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 630

You deserved it 31 923

Today, I played Angry Birds for two hours. I got so into the game, I failed to remember that I was sitting on a public toilet. I only realized this when the janitor came to check on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 065

You deserved it 52 987

Today, I walked in on my mom masturbating. I want to run away. I feel violated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 748

You deserved it 686

Today, I discovered that 90% of what I do still works on autopilot when I’m too tired to pay attention: Take coffee cup, walk to fridge, open fridge door, grab bottle, pour contents into coffee. The missing 10% was the fact that this particular bottle contained grapefruit juice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 083

You deserved it 451

Today, despite knowing that I hate being the center of attention (and think that public proposals are stupid anyway), my boyfriend popped the question at a crowded hockey game. I threw up all over him, with thousands of people watching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 632

You deserved it 154