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The all-time greatest FMLs

By no2057 - 09/12/2013 11:00 - Mexico - Montreuil

Today, I was in a taxi in Mexico. The driver got fed up with the traffic and decided to cross the median strip and continue the wrong way up the other side of the highway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 631

You deserved it 101

Dork

By Four Eyes - 29/03/2023 18:00 - United States

Today, I saw my grandma for the first time since I got new glasses. Wanting to be different, I got crystal colored ones instead of black. She said, "Thank God. You looked so dorky with your giant nerd glasses!" Love you too, grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 631

You deserved it 192

Masterchef

By Uh-SLEEP - 11/12/2020 11:01 - United States - Litchfield Park

Today, our stove broke. Now, we have to cook using a toaster oven. FML

I agree, your life sucks 631

You deserved it 82

The Irish goodbye

By Lost Reggie - 25/03/2024 06:00 - United States - Memphis

Today, I'd thought that I'd found the new love of my life. She wanted me, I wanted her, we were compatible on so many levels. I have known her for 15 years, and she had asked me on a date. Last night, she unfriended, blocked, and ghosted me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 630

You deserved it 134

Gentle prank

By Anonymous - 18/02/2021 04:58 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, my little sister swapped out the hard white cheese on the meat-cheese platter with slices of white chocolate and put some Skittles into the bowl of M&M's. My limited circle of friends and family in our safe social pandemic bubble think it was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 630

You deserved it 111

I can explain!

By carrieholden82 - 11/07/2022 00:00 - United States

Today, I got proposed to by my long-term best friend, my boyfriend. I panicked and thought of the last time that I got left at the altar by who I thought was the love of my life then, and inadvertently said “No” as a defense mechanism. I’m the most hated person in our social circle, and he’s inconsolable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 630

You deserved it 1 346

Mother of the year

By Anonymous - 10/09/2024 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my ex-wife brought the kids to me angry that she had tried to pick up some guy but the kids ruined it just by being there, so she brought them to my house because she couldn’t be bothered this week. The judge giving her primary custody is a travesty of our legal system. FML

I agree, your life sucks 630

You deserved it 102

Incapacitated

By Anonymous - 23/03/2023 02:00 - United States

Today, I tried a new workout routine at the gym. I was feeling great until I dropped a big-ass weight on my foot and had to go to the hospital. After hours of waiting, the doctor told me that I had a broken toe and would need to wear a cast for six weeks. The worst part? I have a job interview next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 630

You deserved it 176

Smooth blend

By Anonymous - 08/04/2023 16:00 - United States - Boston

Today, I was excited to try out my new blender, but when I turned it on, the lid flew off and sprayed smoothie all over my kitchen. Now I have a fruity polka dot pattern on parts of my kitchen's walls and ceiling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 630

You deserved it 365

Good boy

By Anonymous - 11/07/2025 00:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my mom bought me a puppy. I’m single, I work 14 hour days, my life is in no way suitable for pet ownership, but mom won’t take him back because she thinks I need to learn adult responsibility. I’m a senior technician with a team of 17 people, I couldn’t be more responsible if I tried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 630

You deserved it 107

Faulty logic

By hhhhhhhh - 28/09/2023 06:00

Today, my daughter thinks the way to save money is to stop taking her antidepressants, because they give her “uncontrollable” food cravings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 630

You deserved it 118

Tonight, on 'First Dates'…

By Anonymous - 17/04/2024 20:00 - United Kingdom

Today, so… you know how sometimes girls give the weird guys a chance and it works out beautifully and they marry, have kids, and live happily ever after. Yeah, didn’t work for me. I gave the weird guy from work a chance and he asked if he could lick my armpits on the first date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 629

You deserved it 140

Not yet

By Anonymous - 13/02/2023 04:00

Today, my husband's friend and I realised that we have mutual feelings of attraction for each other. We're both in struggling marriages, which we don't want to give up on yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 629

You deserved it 512

Humblebrag much?

By Anonymous - 02/06/2022 06:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, my fling with a local waiter ended. I'm studying for a professional designation exam, I make $130k/year, and I have a lake house in the mountains. He smokes pot in his mom's basement, has been arrested for stealing, has totaled 3 cars, and would rather collect unemployment than work. He dumped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 629

You deserved it 2 606

Disproportionate response

By Anonymous - 09/09/2023 04:00

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend asked me to lick her ass. I obliged, only for her to rip a rancid fart directly on my tongue. Its been two hours and I'm still nauseous. Apparently, this was revenge for my "badgering her" for anal sex. I'd mentioned that butt play is one of my kinks, and dropped it when she wasn't interested. FML

I agree, your life sucks 629

You deserved it 221

A few hours later…

By Xandler - 18/07/2025 05:57 - United States

Today, I had a date with a woman I had been talking to for a month. We hit it off, the date went fantastic, and we agreed to see each other again. Fast forward a few hours and I'm told she decided to pursue someone else, equates it to "bad timing", but wants to be friends. If not for bad luck, I'd have no luck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 629

You deserved it 157

Xandler tells us more.

Xandler 8

Thursday 17 July 2025 17:44

OP here. First published FML! Woot! Backstory for anyone who cares. We met of PoF, we talked and got to know each other, like the FML said for about a month. The date was a spur of the moment thing as she said she was interested. So, we went out, we both had a fun time. I knew she was seeing someone else (they apparently had 2 dates), and I guess he asked her that night to be exclusive. As a little sidenote, by her admission she told me her relationships with men she has been with have been toxic. It's whatever now, I wished her the best and told her I'd be around if she needed to chat.

Relax, don't do it

By Anonymous - 21/08/2023 06:00 - Canada - Windsor

Today, I was excited to finally use the expensive bath bombs I'd been saving. I filled the tub, dropped one in, and settled in for a relaxing soak. The bath bomb fizzed so much that it created a bubble mountain that spilled over, flooding my bathroom with colorful suds. My "relaxing" bath turned into a Slip 'N Slide adventure as I tried to mop up the mess in my birthday suit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 629

You deserved it 191

Life is just great

By someone something - 28/11/2024 03:00 - United States - Acton

Today, I was taking a shower. Having epilepsy, I seized, tripped over the edge of the tub, and smashed my face against an open toilet, breaking my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 629

You deserved it 85

By anonyme - 28/06/2013 00:13 - France

Today, I’m a trainee who recently arrived in a prestigious company. My boss walked in on me sorting paper clips by size. I’m now in charge of doing the same thing in every office on our floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 629

You deserved it 134

Helping hands

By Anonymous - 02/12/2024 20:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I had my first poop at home after having my baby, and it was a total mess. I still have no strength in my legs so while trying to clean myself I fell and couldn’t get up. The only one in the house was my father-in-law, so he had to pick me up naked with poop down my legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 629

You deserved it 123

By chachaxxx - 09/11/2011 11:35 - Mexico

Today, it’s my girlfriend’s birthday, so I ordered a cake at the bakery and asked the baker to write “Happy birthday Marie!” in italic, because I think it’s prettier. When I opened the box, I saw “HAPPY BIRTHDAY MARIE IN ITALY!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 629

You deserved it 77

Not cool, Mom

By Anonymous - 10/05/2024 22:00

Today, my mom still spends time with my ex because, as she puts it, we might be divorced now but there’s no reason they can’t still be friends. This is the woman who tricked me into raising another man’s baby for three months before I got suspicious and got a paternity test. Screw you mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 629

You deserved it 119

Oh hell no

By Anonymous - 27/07/2024 22:00 - United States - Anaheim

Spicy

Today, I was in the "getting to know you" phase of dating a guy I recently met. We were talking about our families and I mentioned my dad died when I was young. He blurted out, “So, we get to have some of that kinky daddy issue sex then, huh?” I’m not sure if he was joking or not but still… FML

I agree, your life sucks 629

You deserved it 133

Hustlers University

By jpaylay - 20/05/2023 01:00

Today, I was told it was “disgusting” that we charged $1.75 for 2 donuts instead of 3 for the same price. I had to throw them out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 629

You deserved it 100

The gift that keeps on giving

By Anonymous - 14/12/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, after I fell off of a 150-foot cliff, bruised like crazy with two skull fractures and two foot fractures, one of my closest friends brought his sick girlfriend to visit me while I’m pretty much immobile, and I tested positive for COVID. FML

I agree, your life sucks 628

You deserved it 118

Take it easy

By Endrit Begolli - 27/06/2023 00:02 - Albania

Today, I went to the gym for the first time in months. I was so out of shape that I couldn't even finish my warm-up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 628

You deserved it 260

My house, my rules

By lordoftheweird - 06/01/2024 15:00 - Canada - Kamloops

Spicy

Today, I had to make a house rule for my extended family who live with me: No more incestuous sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 628

You deserved it 150

Nervous?

By Anonymous - 30/08/2023 08:00 - United Kingdom - Wakefield

Today, I went to my GP to discuss my anxiety. As I was explaining my symptoms, I accidentally farted loudly due to my nervousness. The doctor paused and said, "Well, let's address that as well." FML.

I agree, your life sucks 628

You deserved it 159

Our little secret

By Anonymous - 16/12/2022 12:00

Spicy

Today, I found out that the “stranger” I’ve been confessing my kinky, dark, and disgusting fantasies to online is a friend from high school, who figured out it was me by the third sentence. Now I'm praying she has a heart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 628

You deserved it 1 453

Late to the party

By Anonymous - 29/04/2026 22:00 - United States

Today, my ex-husband, who abandoned us after our son was paralyzed in an accident, contacted me to demand full custody because he found out that I got remarried. He doesn't want another man raising his son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 628

You deserved it 82

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The Top

The Top

Today, is the start of the third month that I prayed I would be fired, just so I didn't have to quit because I hate awkward conversations. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 910

You deserved it 8 640

Today, my sister-in-law pooped with the bathroom door open until my husband had to tell her to close it, then she came out with unwashed hands and started rooting through the cookies. This isn't even the most unhygienic thing she's done today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 852

You deserved it 3 597

Today, I put up one of those hanging fly catchers in my room due to the unsettling amount of flies in the house. I remarked how stupid flies were to land on them. Within an hour, I got up and walked straight into it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 110

You deserved it 46 486

Today, I was showing some new karate moves in the park to my friends. I mimed a punch behind a girl walking past to show my technique and control, but she must have seen me. She turned around and kicked me in the stomach. To add insult to injury, her technique was better than mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 980

You deserved it 35 440

Today, I took the train to work. There was an older man standing behind me. Everytime I tried to edge away from him, he edged closer. Everytime the train rocked even slightly, his crotch made contact with my behind. It was an extremely bumpy train ride. I could also tell when he became hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 337

You deserved it 3 053

Today, I received an invitation to a Happy Hour happening tomorrow. It's at 6 a.m. How am I supposed to drink at 6 a.m.? FML

I agree, your life sucks 689

You deserved it 212