App

FMyLife

search






FMyLife FMyLife
search
​



    : 320



    Love life struggles

    ihatemyself07 - 09/12/2025 20:00

    Today, I came to terms with the fact that in order to get a boyfriend, I need to slim down. When I put full-body shots on dating apps, I get swiped left on. But when I put headshots, I get matches. And lots of them. But I can’t catfish these dudes. Time to go on a diet and hit the gym. It’s not fair. FML
    185
    392
      

    Make it stop

    Kate is late - 16/04/2025 00:00 - United States

    Today, I went to a friend's house and was so excited to try her fancy bathroom with a “smart toilet.” The toilet had a “sensitive” bidet feature, and when I tried to stand up, it somehow thought I was still sitting and started spraying repeatedly. I just froze while standing, as it repeatedly splashed water on my ass. FML
    184
    307
      

    Many such cases

    Link - 11/03/2025 17:00 - United States - Pittsfield

    Today, a friend was moving away, and they told me go grab their credit card. I did, and she bought me Dunkin' Donuts, then I tripped and dumped both our drinks. Into her face. I tried to say "Fuck!" and "I didn't mean to do that to you!" but ended up yelling "FUCK YOU!" in the middle of a parking lot. I never saw her again. FML
    184
    434
      

    Odd interaction

    mochiix03 - 13/11/2025 00:00

    Today, a Tinder guy asked me if I had a full-body picture since I only have headshots. Being ashamed of my body, I told him my rear camera was broken, so only the front-facing camera worked. He asked me if I could see my toes when I looked down. Without thinking, I looked down and said, "No." He unmatched me. FML
    184
    454
      

    Carplayed out

    Anonymous - 05/04/2025 00:00 - Australia

    Today, I couldn’t find my phone as I left work, but knew it was on me since CarPlay connected. Later, the music cut out speeding up onto the freeway. I then recalled placing it on the roof as I loaded up the car. FML
    184
    508
      

    EVERYTHING COMPUTER

    Anonymous - 02/08/2025 00:00 - United States

    Today, I spent several minutes trying to log into my email, only to realize I was typing my work password instead of my personal one. After three failed attempts, my account locked me out for 24 hours. Now I can’t check my emails or reset the password because they need me to check my email. FML
    184
    345
      

    Gamer boy

    I married a child - 20/12/2025 03:00

    Today, I watched my 35 year-old husband start up a new video game. He named his character "Boner." FML
    183
    331
      

    Never speakerphone in public

    Sarah - 01/10/2025 12:00

    Today, my phone rang with an unknown number. I answered in my professional “customer service” voice: “Hello, this is Sarah, how may I help you?” It was my mom, who immediately said, “Why are you talking like a robot? Did you get fired again?” I was on speakerphone at the grocery store checkout. FML
    183
    402
      

    Sitcom moment

    Anonymous - 29/12/2025 09:00

    Today, my friends were criticizing me, a 36 year-old man hitting on a 22 year-old I met at a bar. I brought up that she’s a consenting adult. One of them responded, “Dude, the year she was born, you were old enough to jerk off and your voice was dropping… isn’t that a turnoff for you?” FML
    182
    705
      

    Struggling

    Anonymous - 04/09/2025 08:00 - United States

    Today, I started my senior year of high school. Every guy I try to get with immediately loses interest and runs off when they learn I have a one year-old son. It’s not fair I have to deny my baby boy just to find happiness. FML
    182
    1 078
      

    Make your mind up!

    EpicOracle - 04/07/2025 11:00 - Nigeria

    Today, my ex, who has been asking me to get back with her, told me that she doesn't want to be in a relationship with me when I asked. FML
    181
    300
      

    I'll get my coat

    Rossi - 17/04/2025 14:00 - United States

    Today, the guy I like shared a repost on his Instagram story that said, “No message is a message. Take the hint and move on.” He’d left my last message to him on “Seen” for 4 days now. FML
    180
    355
      

    Brain fart

    Anonymous - 15/08/2025 00:00 - Australia

    Today, I walked up to a store’s automatic doors. They didn’t open. I waved my arms, stepped back and forward again, nothing. A staff member came over, tapped a button, and said, “It’s manual.” FML
    180
    320
      

    Hazy day

    Laurence - 18/03/2025 22:00 - Australia - Melbourne

    Today, my alarm went off, and in my half-asleep state, I grabbed my phone and snoozed it. When I woke up an hour later, I realized I'd actually snoozed my work email notification for the same amount of time, and my boss was emailing me every five minutes, asking where I was. FML
    180
    425
      

    Rough evening for introverts

    Chris - 24/05/2025 15:00 - United States

    Today, at a dinner party, I got locked in the host’s toilet because the doorknob broke. I had to text the host to rescue me. She opened the door… with 5 other guests standing behind her. My social battery was wiped out by the whole ordeal, so I immediately wanted to go home and hide, but instead I got drunk and passed out on her couch. FML
    180
    456
      

    Yummy

    Anonymous - 03/02/2025 12:00 - United States - Des Moines

    Today, I was running late for work and skipped breakfast. At a red light, I noticed a granola bar in my bag and so I took a bite, only to realize it was actually a dog treat I'd stuffed in there days ago. FML
    180
    454
      

    Odd punishment

    Anonymous - 14/05/2025 06:00 - Hong Kong

    Today, one of my classmates got bullied and the whole class got to wrote 2000 words about that. FML
    180
    464
      

    Quality time

    Fourth, EWWW!!! - 16/01/2026 22:00

    Today, I told my fiancé I wanted him to watch The Handmaid's Tale with me. He snorted and said, "Nah, I'd rather not watch your rape fantasy show." First of all, ew. Second of all, how is this show a fantasy? It's horrifying. Third of all, EW! FML
    180
    385
      

    Six feet under

    Anonymous - 25/08/2025 21:00

    Today, on my first day driving a hearse, I took a wrong turn and of course every car behind followed me. Out of pure habit I had turned right into the main street as though I was driving home, when I should've turned left. At least my wife got to see me from the window as I drove past the house. FML
    179
    357
      

    Bathroom breakdown

    Anonymous - 10/04/2025 00:00 - United States

    Today, I used the public restroom at a park. After washing my hands, I went to dry them, only to realize there were no paper towels. I thought the air dryer would work, but it broke halfway through, leaving me standing there, awkwardly fanning my hands with my arms spread wide. A group of teenagers walked in and started laughing at me. FML
    179
    312
      

    One for the British boomers

    Anonymous - 27/11/2025 20:00

    Today, it's been about three weeks since I had a very vivid sex dream about a tall man, but had no idea who it was. Then today my grandad was watching old comedies and there the guy was, Bernard Bresslaw from the Carry On movies. Why brain? Why now and why him? I’ve not watched those movies in decades. FML
    179
    85
      

    Thud

    Dammit - 03/02/2025 15:00 - United States

    Today, I got home after a long day and collapsed onto my bed… forgetting I'd left my laptop open on it. Now I have an expensive, broken pillow. FML
    179
    449
      

    Go vegan for the economy

    Anonymous - 21/04/2025 00:00 - United States - Eugene

    Today, I argued with my roommate about which eggs to buy: organic, pasture-raised, free-range, or AI-verified climate-positive. We settled on whatever was cheapest. They were $9. FML
    179
    362
      

    Trapped

    Embarassed - 01/10/2025 22:00

    Today, I wished my best friend a happy birthday with a long, heartfelt post on social media. Turns out her birthday is next week, she'd just set a trap by changing the date on her profile. I was so confident that I even added, “Finally remembered this year!” FML
    178
    352
      

    Thoughts and prayers

    Broke babe - 05/11/2025 20:00

    Today, at a family dinner, I mentioned I was worried about money and my job. My rich grandmother decided to announce that she'd pray for me. Thanks, Gran, I'm sure talking to Magic Sky Wizard will be more helpful than just forking over some cash. FML
    178
    775
      

    Hey good lookin'

    Anonymous - 01/03/2025 15:00 - United States - Anaheim

    Today, I realized that whether it takes me 3 minutes or 3 hours to get ready, my husband always has the same reaction, “Uh… yeah babe, you look fine.” Thanks for the confidence boost babe. FML
    178
    434
      

    Downloading

    Always less important than video games - 12/12/2025 00:00

    Today, when I got home, the apartment was clean for once. I gasped in surprise, and my boyfriend came out of the bathroom, carried me to the bedroom, and brutally ravished me. Afterwards, I asked him what brought this on. "Well, I bought a new game and it took forever to download..." FML
    178
    286
      

    Stay out of it

    Muddy - 28/12/2025 00:00

    Today, my disgusting coworker made a comment about "women versus accountability" and I couldn't even yell at him for being a sexist scumbucket, because my wife threw coffee at me yesterday for pointing out that she'd left the chips open and they went stale. FML
    178
    347
      

    Virallity gone wrong

    Anonymous - 18/04/2025 15:00 - Canada - Toronto

    Today, a screenshot of an old tweet of mine went viral. Unfortunately, it was completely taken out of context, thinking it was saying the opposite of what I actually meant, and now I’m trending on both “Libs of TikTok” and “Woke Watch” or whatever the fuck. FML
    177
    367
      

    Slapstick delivery

    KLO65 - 14/03/2025 09:00 - Canada - Vancouver

    Today, after I ordered a large package online, it arrived with a massive dent. I called customer service to complain, but when the customer service guy asked for a photo, I went to grab my phone to take the picture. I tripped, dropped my phone, and recorded a video of me swearing loudly. I ended up sending the video along with the complaint. FML
    177
    410
      
    • 81
    • 82
    • 83
    • 84
    • 85
    • 86
    • 87
    • 88
    • 89
    • 90

    Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home
    FMyLife FMyLife
    FMyLife FMyLife
    Today, my male model boyfriend admitted to me that he has developed an eating disorder because of his career. He also told me we couldn't have sex anymore, because he might somehow absorb the food I eat, from my body, through intercourse. FML
    1 789
    308
    Today, I took cough syrup for a miserable COVID sore throat and harsh cough. It went down the wrong tube, and now I'm coughing worse, trying to get it out of my lungs. It hurts. FML
    931
    168
    Today, Walmart was out of quart milk jugs except for one. When I went to grab it, I had to practically climb into the fridge. My boobs got stuck on the shelf on the way out, and it took a solid two minutes to wiggle my way free. I had an audience. FML
    5 829
    1 033
    Today, my friend sent me an online money transfer. After forgetting the password and locking myself out of my account, I had to phone up the bank and have it reset. I was prompted to answer the security question, which was "What, what?" I had to say "In the butt." to get my money. FML
    15 327
    64 340
    Today, I was talking to the guy that has been in love with me for two years. He said "There is a shortage of perfect breasts in the world. It would be a shame to lose yours." He then creepily looked at me and said "It's true." Thanks, Princess Bride, for supplying creepers with material. FML
    26 758
    4 556
    Today, I learned that my mother has been telling people that I need anger management. I'm not attending anger management, I'm attending therapy to aid in my recovery from abusive relationships. She doesn't understand the difference or why I find it upsetting. FML
    32 780
    2 543

    © VDM SAS,

    ​