The Top

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The top of the year

Wait, what?

By Bradley Earl - 01/04/2025 06:00 - United States - Lansing

Today, my girlfriend was a mystic and I'd told her not to use FML because it seemed negative. I think it feels controlling and I don't want that. I also deleted a file that was about fear of her husband dying because she lost her dad. I wish I could go back and be on FML too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53

You deserved it 463

Regular occurrence

By Anonymous - 03/04/2025 03:00 - United States - Portland

Today, my family’s usual Sunday dinner turned into a shouting match over politics. My uncle called me a “brainwashed socialist,” my cousin accused me of being a “capitalist pig,” and my grandma just sat there eating pie, which made me want to call her a "fence-sitting centrist", which is when I realized that maybe we shouldn't ever talk about politics again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 145

You deserved it 470

I hate hiking now

By Anonymous - 04/04/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I was trying to take a cute selfie on a hiking trip. As I leaned against a boulder to get the perfect shot, a squirrel jumped out of nowhere and attacked me, probably thinking I was after its food. I dropped my phone into a creek, and my friends took a picture of me freaking out instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 162

You deserved it 429

Bad omen

By Anonymous - 08/04/2025 02:00 - United States - Victoria

Today, I got a call from the dealership I was trying to work a deal with. After finishing the paperwork at the dealership, I tried to leave on my brand new Harley Davison. It wouldn’t start, so someone came back after hours to jump start my new bike, only to wipe out in the street there, wrecking my new bike. FML

I agree, your life sucks 371

You deserved it 137

Not really my problem

By Anonymous - 26/04/2025 06:30 - India

Today, I got a text from a cousin thanking me for always being nice to her. Bear in mind that this “cousin” basically bullied me as a child, all while I looked up to her. She’s gone through a very rough time recently, so I thought she'd sent me someone else’s text by mistake and I told her so. She replied, “No.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 166

You deserved it 272

Cats hate Sundays

By Anonymous - 27/04/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I was enjoying a rare lazy Sunday afternoon nap when I woke up to a loud thud. My cat, who had been silently plotting his next move, jumped on my chest and knocked over my glass of water. Now my entire bed is soaked, my phone is possibly ruined, and my cat is looking at me like I was the one who did something wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 324

You deserved it 158

Quality real estate location

By Anonymous - 05/05/2025 00:00

Today, I bought an expensive air purifier to combat potential wildfire smoke. The next day, a freak flood knocked out my power. I sat in the dark, breathing in ash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 519

You deserved it 81

Red tape

By Justwantthedamnpackage - 06/05/2025 14:00 - United States - Dayton

Today, I have a time sensitive package from another country that has been sitting in customs for a week. USPS tells me that it’s customs’ responsibility. Customs tells me they processed it and it’s USPS’s responsibility. I can’t fucking win, can I? FML

I agree, your life sucks 431

You deserved it 80

Better out than in

By My cat is a klutz - 08/05/2025 08:00 - United States

Today, my cat tried to look outside the window in my room by climbing on top of the air conditioner. It's already rather flimsy, as she had broken the accordions with her clumsiness last year. But this time, she somehow managed to make the AC fall out of the window, and she followed along with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 360

You deserved it 155

Confused

By Matt - 10/05/2025 00:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I met my girlfriend's friends for the first time. One of them walked up to me and gushed, "Oh my god, Joshua! It's so nice to finally meet you!" Then she made a remark about how she heard I played hockey. Hi, my name is Matt, and my sport is wrestling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 503

You deserved it 93

Better deal

By Anonymous - 11/05/2025 19:00 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, my crush would rather travel to another country to meet with someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 259

You deserved it 329

I can't win

By abt2bsingle - 13/05/2025 21:00 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, my girlfriend is at work, leaving me with her needy son again. If I don't play with him, he cries and throws a fit. If I don't clean the house, she will cry and throw a fit when she gets home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 386

You deserved it 295

Big head

By Anonymous - 19/05/2025 13:00 - Lebanon

Today, it was my girlfriend’s birthday. I was invited to her surprise party and we got there before she arrived. When she came in, she asked the waiters where her friends were, then said, “I saw your head at the end of the restaurant.” She mentioned my head multiple times. I have a big head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 400

You deserved it 125

Get away from me

By IAdoptedACat? - 22/05/2025 17:00 - United States - Tulsa

Today, I learned that, after catching my newly adopted cat so we could spend some quality time in the closet during a tornado warning, she's unwilling to let me close enough to administer her ear drops. I left my covered parking at work and took hail damage for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 150

You deserved it 304

Just trying to help

By Dave - 28/05/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, I saw a little boy wandering in the supermarket looking lost and distraught. I gently put my hand on his shoulder and said, “Hey buddy, where’s your mommy?” He screamed, “STRANGER DANGER!” and kicked me in the shin. His actual mom wandered over from the cheese section, gave me a dirty look, and walked off. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 381

You deserved it 184

Never in public

By Red - 02/06/2025 15:00 - Netherlands

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me in a beautiful park. It would have been perfect if it wasn't for some fat incel recording it on his phone, yelling about how much of a douche my boyfriend is, and how I'm such a "Stacy". FML

I agree, your life sucks 501

You deserved it 90

Seriously?

By Anonymous - 06/06/2025 02:00

Today, my husband got home on my birthday and told me he went overboard and bought a real expensive gift for his favourite girl. He then turned round and gave the real expensive gift to the girl in question, his 3 year-old niece. It’s not even her birthday. I got fuck all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 538

You deserved it 116

Bad week

By poopface82 - 07/06/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, my week started off with cleaning up a literal dumpster fire. Since then, I’ve been falsely accused of stealing someone’s welcome mat, had my water shut off, and had to miss three days of work in order to correct my child care voucher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 408

You deserved it 78

New look, huh?

By Dave - 15/06/2025 00:00 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, I tried a new beard trimmer that has a laser guide. I somehow set it too close to my skin and shaved a completely bald line straight through the middle of my beard. Now I look like a magician with a flesh mustache divider, or a bassist from a 90s nu-metal band. FML

I agree, your life sucks 120

You deserved it 332

Sounds about right

By Anonymous - 18/06/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I spent an hour frantically searching for my car keys, turning the entire apartment upside down. After giving up and calling a locksmith, I found the keys… in the fridge. Because apparently I put my leftover pizza on top of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 142

You deserved it 381

First world problems

By Anonymous - 20/06/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, my Brita filter for my pitcher needs a replacement. This wouldn't be even remotely that big of a deal, except this month I also ran out on a few other necessities that weren't exactly what one would call cheap. I'm trying to both save money but also learn more healthy habits (like drinking more water). FML

I agree, your life sucks 195

You deserved it 258

Pay attention

By Anonymous - 04/07/2025 15:00 - United States - Newport

Today, I was at a busy restaurant and, in a rush, walked into the men’s restroom instead of the women’s. I was so focused on my phone that I didn’t notice the stares, or the guy at the sink giving me the confused glare. When I finally looked up and saw the urinals, I practically sprinted out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72

You deserved it 626

Oddly specific turn off

By FatCoco - 07/07/2025 21:00 - United States

Today, my Tinder date ordered a separate check and said there won’t be a second date, all because I ordered my meal without vegetables. FML

I agree, your life sucks 262

You deserved it 434

Boom!

By Anonymous - 09/07/2025 13:00 - United States

Today, my husband is such a tight-wadded cheapskate that his idea of “taking the family out” is going to Costco to try all the samples. PS: Yes, I work too, so he’s not the only “provider", he’s just cheap and boring as all hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 146

Check, please!

By No second date - 13/07/2025 06:00 - United States

Today, I went on a date with a fun, attractive girl. She ordered off the kid's menu, drowned her food in ketchup, and said my burger with blue cheese and bacon was disgusting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 419

You deserved it 170

Another Luigi moment

By Anonymous - 16/07/2025 21:00 - United States - Acton

Today, I seized at the bottom of the stairs and broke a rib. I don't have enough money to pay the bill. I don't know what to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 447

You deserved it 63

Under pressure

By Anonymous - 18/07/2025 23:30 - India - Jamshedpur

Today, after having pulled like three all-nighters and studying hardcore for months, when it came down to it, I couldn't solve even one question. I almost broke down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 388

You deserved it 107

I've got a lot going on, OK?

By Anonymous - 20/07/2025 15:00 - South Africa

Today, I'm going to visit my mother in hospital. She broke her hip and my father refused to take her to hospital for 6 days, insisting she would get better. My dog had cancer surgery, which will cost me a whole month's salary. I’m still recovering from 2 major surgeries myself, and my kids are being total dorks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 455

You deserved it 95

Clinging on

By Jeremy - 26/07/2025 00:00 - Australia - Adelaide

Today, I did laundry after weeks of procrastinating. Feeling accomplished, I wore a freshly cleaned hoodie to work. Halfway through the day, I discovered my niece’s Paw Patrol underwear clinging to the inside of my hood. I’d been walking around with Chase the Police Dog flapping behind my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 331

You deserved it 206

Sounds delightful

By Why? Fucking nerd - 27/07/2025 14:00 - United States - New York

Today, I stupidly let my friend, who is obsessed with wacky YouTube music channels, have access to a playlist for my party. We ended up listening to Simpsons quotes cut up and spliced into EDM. FML

I agree, your life sucks 91

You deserved it 369

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The Top

Today, I found out my significant other of 14 years roughly has been with another guy for over a year and they’ve taken it all the way, if you know what I mean. While living with me. I’d watch our 4 kids so she "could go out to the movies with a girlfriend" of hers. I definitely got fucked on that one, not sure what to do now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 739

You deserved it 127

Today, my mom cleaned out my bank account, saying my "no-good dad" owes her child support and that she'll get it one way or another. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 946

You deserved it 2 355

Today, I put my elbow in some sticky, clear stuff on my desk. I supervise a bunch of 20-something men. I don't want to think about what it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 426

You deserved it 94

Today, I was watching porn, and ended up bawling because the girl in the video looked like my ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 196

You deserved it 10 807

Today, while at a family get together, my bowels suddenly decided they needed to be emptied. Straight away. I felt bad enough using someone else's bathroom for this, but later, my sister came in and loudly said "God, Brian, what the hell have you been eating?" in front of everyone at the get together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 795

You deserved it 3 362

Today, I asked my husband to watch our kids while I cooked food for him. Apparently I asked in the wrong tone, because now he's pouting and won't eat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 895

You deserved it 391