The Top

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Greg

By Not Greg - 27/10/2025 15:00

Today, it was my first day. HR handed me a badge with my photo and… someone else’s name printed in big letters. I spent the whole morning being introduced as “Greg” to people who said, “Nice to meet you Greg.” By lunch I’d corrected maybe 3 people and reinforced everyone else’s assumption that my real name was Greg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 323

You deserved it 110

Fatigue

By Anonymous - 29/10/2025 09:00

Today, I’m tired of being blamed that my kids don’t want anything to do with their dad. He somehow forgot that they saw him cheat on me while I was in the hospital, got another woman pregnant while we were still married, and put her kids above them. He made his bed, so why am I the bad guy? FML

I agree, your life sucks 549

You deserved it 66

Antiwork

By GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT - 31/10/2025 03:00

Today, my boyfriend came home and said he'd been fired from his minimum wage cashier job. He added that since I make enough to cover the bills, he wants to take a break from "working and shit." I stared at him, mouth agape, and he thought I was offering him a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 565

You deserved it 139

For science!

By Jefferson - 01/11/2025 22:00

Today, I spent way too long trying to figure out why my car smelled like rotten eggs. I took it to a mechanic, who pulled out an entire hard-boiled egg from a hidden compartment under the back seat. Turns out my nephew hid it there a week ago as part of a “science experiment.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 395

You deserved it 77

Romance mystery

By Anonymous - 03/11/2025 15:00

Today, I bought my wife chocolates and a rose. When she got home, I told her I had a surprise but then I couldn’t find the chocolates or the rose anywhere in this frigging house, they were just gone. I had to pretend the surprise was going out for dinner but still, where the fuck did the rose go? FML

I agree, your life sucks 392

You deserved it 134

Why not both?

By Christine - 05/11/2025 09:00

Today, my 6 year-old daughter saw me putting on makeup and asked, “Mommy, are you trying to look less tired or more alive?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 356

You deserved it 121

Take the help you can get

By Anonymous - 07/11/2025 03:00

Today, I realized that no matter what kind of mental break, even just needing someone to vent to about night terrors and fears, my husband and mom will threaten to call a 72h psych hold on me if I so much as cry or be emotional at all. Then they'll forget me for two weeks and say "it's not a big deal." It makes someone want to die. FML

I agree, your life sucks 436

You deserved it 115

Sorry Sweaty

By Anonymous - 08/11/2025 22:00

Today, I got lost on my way to a wedding and yelled at my phone's GPS for giving bad directions. After 20 minutes of rerouting, I realized I’d accidentally set it to “walking mode.” I arrived 45 minutes late and sweaty in a full suit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 97

You deserved it 491

Ironic underpants

By Anonymous - 17/11/2025 20:00

Today, I invested in some menstrual underwear to save money on sanitary products and for environmental reasons. I got to wear them only once before they were accidentally washed too hot and completely ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 302

You deserved it 153

Vicious circle

By Anonymous - 21/11/2025 09:00

Today, my doctor lectured me for 20 minutes about 'drug seeking behaviour' when I asked for more anti-anxiety medication. I need it because my shithead 15 year-old son found my pills and took them to get wasted. I need the meds in the first place because he's constantly pulling shit like this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 371

You deserved it 190

It's always the last place you'd expect

By Anonymous - 28/11/2025 12:00

Today, I was looking for a tiny little container I use to keep my medication dosages when I travel. I checked just about every place I could think of, so where did I finally find it? Behind the wide open closet door. It had fallen out of my travel bag, which I'd used last week, and rolled behind the tiny nook it made. FML

I agree, your life sucks 266

You deserved it 88

Push on through the shame

By Anonymous - 02/12/2025 00:00

Today, my neighbor caught me practicing a “power pose” pep talk in my car before work. I froze mid-pose while he stared in confused silence. He gave me a thumbs-up, slowly backed away, and I drove off immediately. FML

I agree, your life sucks 132

You deserved it 306

Early Christmas party

By Anonymous - 03/12/2025 20:00

Today, I apologised to my colleagues on Teams for leaving the Christmas party early. The only responses were that they didn’t realise I was actually there, or didn’t even know who I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 308

You deserved it 77

Rip it up and start again

By Anonymous - 07/12/2025 09:00

Today, I realised I have no friends circle to call my own, no motivation to conquer the day, and no confidence to put my life back together, all because I failed the test that could get me closer to my dream job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 297

You deserved it 125

Recluse

By Anonymous - 09/12/2025 03:00

Today, I realized I am the neighborhood pariah. I have a vaca house on a lake, and every year the neighborhood holds a Friendsgiving Party. I wasn't invited. I only found out it that it happened when I saw the Facebook photos. I have no idea why I was excluded. I must be the world's biggest a-hole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 301

You deserved it 131

Not now, Mom!

By Anonymous - 10/12/2025 22:00

Today, I tried to show my boss a funny photo on my phone. As I handed it over, a notification popped up from my mom that said, “Did you finally meet a nice boy or are you still feral?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 333

You deserved it 102

On the twelfth day of Xmas, my true love sent to me…

By Yudith - 14/12/2025 15:00

Today, it's the twelfth day since I ordered the fittings (which are not sold in hardware stores) needed for one of our tenants' leaking kitchen sink. I received two emails; one that says the package will arrive today, and one that says never mind, the package will arrive in seven weeks. For the tenant, FML

I agree, your life sucks 340

You deserved it 79

Plans for the weekend?

By Anonymous - 16/12/2025 09:00

Today, my boyfriend’s soon to be ex-wife was supposed to go on a trip with her sister, so I came over for the weekend while she was gone. She came home saying she’s not going anymore because her sister cancelled. I had to wait inside a hot closet for 4 hours hungry as fuck until I could escape when she was showering. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81

You deserved it 1 168

Haunted by you

By Anonymous - 19/12/2025 22:00

Today, I asked my daughter if we could have a memorial table at her wedding for her baby brother who died 21 years ago. To my horror, she lost her shit at me and screamed she wants “one fucking night” to be about her and “not about him.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 94

You deserved it 1 709

Make it stop

By Christ on.a bike - 21/12/2025 15:00

Today, I wore my Christmas sweater to work, one with lights sewn into it. Halfway through a meeting, they started flashing uncontrollably and playing tinny carols. I couldn’t turn them off. I had to go shove the whole sweater into a locker in the basement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 217

You deserved it 316

I just wanna go home

By Irish goodbyyye - 23/12/2025 09:00

Today, I tried to leave a rowdy Christmas party early. The apartment door creaked loudly, someone asked where I was going, and suddenly I was explaining my schedule to 10 drunk people. I stayed another hour to avoid more drunk people telling me to, "COME ON, STAY, HAVE A DRINK." FML

I agree, your life sucks 173

You deserved it 316

Burn or drown?

By Xenocide - 25/12/2025 03:00

Today, I almost burned down my speakers. How, you ask? Well, some asshole at the party (I was the DJ) decided to trip me as I walked to the stage, causing me to knock my speakers into the pool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 350

You deserved it 87

Can't take my eyes off you

By Pauly - 26/12/2025 22:00

Today, I babysat my niece and thought a quick shower would be fine. I left her watching cartoons with a blanket and returned to find she’d used washable paints on the carpet and her hands, leaving tiny colorful footprints to the couch. Her proud smile made me forgive the mess, but I spent the evening scrubbing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83

You deserved it 506

When you're a hammer, everything looks like a nail

By Anonymous - 30/12/2025 12:00

Today, my dad insists he knows best when it comes to DIY, since he is a big mathematics professor, while I am a mere labourer with dozens of City and Guilds qualifications. He owns one hammer, an unopened screwdriver set, and a wood saw with a broken handle, but sure, he knows better than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 423

You deserved it 83

Short fuse

By Anonymous - 03/01/2026 00:00

Today, two days after losing my temper with my smart mouthed 7 year-old son and slapping him across the face, I tried to apologize by buying him a treat and telling him if anyone found out, I would get in trouble. Today, I got a call from social services about the "bruise" on his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 91

You deserved it 1 227

Yadda yadda yadda

By Anonymous - 04/01/2026 20:00

Today, our desks were rearranged. I was seated next to a coworker who spends the entire day on the phone, chatting loudly with his relatives in another country while he works. I complained that it was distracting. Management won't do anything about it and warned me that "my complaints reek of racism." FML

I agree, your life sucks 473

You deserved it 73

Antisocial

By Hope he chokes - 10/01/2026 03:00

Today, my asswipe coworker yet again microwaved some disgusting fish dish at work, stinking out the break room for days. If we say anything, he runs to HR and complains of "racism" and "hostile work environment." God, I sound like a disgusting Trump-sucker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 385

You deserved it 198

Nice try

By Not a thief!! - 11/01/2026 22:00

Today, I was grocery shopping and treated myself to fresh flowers. At self-checkout, I scanned everything, paid and left. An employee ran after me to ask if I’d paid for the flowers. I’d scanned them as bananas, paying 68 cents instead of $12. I awkwardly scuttled back inside to “fix it.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 105

You deserved it 545

High potential

By Anonymous - 15/01/2026 12:00

Today, my youngest was recognized as a genius. My older two are now upset because they don’t think it’s fair and my husband is moaning because he thinks we’re now going to be stuck raising Sheldon Cooper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 374

You deserved it 85

He has spoken

By Anonymous - 19/01/2026 00:00

Today, I discovered that my deceased mother, God rot her festering soul, wrote me and only me out of her will. All my other siblings are wealthy; I’m the only one in financial trouble after my divorce. And why did mom hate me so much? Because I’m divorced and God says divorce is bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 482

You deserved it 130

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The Top

Today, after weeks of flirting with the hot guy at the gym, he finally asked me to meet up with him outside. I was diagnosed with strep throat just hours before our date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 023

You deserved it 1 566

Today, my dog threw up on the tiled floor. I found out at 6 this morning in the dark when I slipped and fell in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 893

You deserved it 2 685

Today, after months of job hunting, I started a new job in a deli. I've been a vegetarian since I was 13, but it was the only job I could find. Turns out, I'm allergic to the preservatives they use, as my fingers now resemble sausages. Guess it's time to start job hunting again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 837

You deserved it 4 400

Today, I received a text at 6am from my boss stating that my services are no longer required. He couldn't even wait until I was awake to fire me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 688

You deserved it 3 257

Today, I was making out with my new boyfriend when he pulled away and looked me deeply in the eyes, he smiled and said, "I don't care what anyone else says, I think you're beautiful." FML

I agree, your life sucks 464

You deserved it 53

Today, my boyfriend, a blacksmith, said he needed a break because he had a terrible thumping pain in his anvil. It took me way too long to realise what he’d said and that he was taking the piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 111

You deserved it 265