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    : 320



    Warehouse blues

    Anonymous - 12/09/2025 22:00

    Today, I got up early to wait for my new sofa to be delivered. I spent yesterday taking apart and getting rid of my old crappy sofa. At midday, the furniture shop said they'd cancelled my order due to not having enough of that model in stock. Even if I re-order a sofa now, it's 2 weeks until they can deliver. FML
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    Ozempic pushers

    Anonymous - 16/09/2025 09:00

    Today, my parents came for a visit and spent the whole time pressuring me to ask my doctor for medication to lose weight. FML
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    Look at me

    - 20/09/2025 00:00

    Today, I realized that my gay male friend tells me I’m pretty, gives me random compliments, and shows me off more often than my husband of 10 years. I legitimately can’t remember the last time my husband called me beautiful. Even if I ask him how I look, the best I’ll get is “You look fine.” FML
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    The first step is acknowledging it

    Alex - 23/09/2025 15:00

    Today, I fucked up. I let my mental health problems and the alcohol win. I was horrible to my wife and basically ended my marriage due to my problems and insecurities. FML
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    Kid A

    Anonymous - 25/09/2025 09:00

    Today, me and my husband are having our first big marital argument. Our baby still doesn’t have a name, all because I want to call her a normal name and he wants to call her some obscure name from an anime he really likes. I’ve never seen him this stubborn about anything this stupid. FML
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    Bad day, huh?

    AllWrong - 27/09/2025 03:00

    Today, I screwed up in my job, my husband lost his luggage in an airport, then my daughter broke the toilet flush, and my friend's kid poured porridge onto the carpet. FML
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    Overbearing

    Anonymous - 28/09/2025 22:00

    Today, my mom got in my house while I was on vacation and “cleaned it” AKA moved everything around. Now every time I ask her, “Mom, where's my unpaid bill?” or “Mom, where’s my blue suit?” or “Mom, where’s my work ID?” all I get from her is, “Oh it must be somewhere; where did you see it last?” AAAAAAAARGH FML
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    STOP!

    What's that beeping noise?? - 02/10/2025 12:00

    Today, at a self-checkout, I scanned all my items, bagged them, and left. Only when I got outside did I realize I had completely forgotten to pay. I then noticed that security was running to stop me, and I had to explain that I wasn’t a thief, just an idiot. FML
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    Involontary caregiver

    Caretaker - 06/10/2025 00:00

    Today, I got word that my aunt has dementia and will be moving into our big family estate. And just like with my grandpa, grandma, great-aunt, great-uncle, other grandma, father, and uncle, I will be expected to put my life on hold and be her primary caretaker. I never got my own life. FML
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    Here we go again

    Change my number - 07/10/2025 20:00

    Today, I discovered that my direct work number is Googleable to the public. This was brought to my attention when my extremely toxic ex called me wanting to rekindle our dead relationship. I just have to ignore the ankle monitor, continued addiction issues, and police charges. FML
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    Never do this

    Anonymous - 09/10/2025 15:00

    Today, I proposed to my girlfriend at the museum where we met, with a violinist playing her favourite song. She said yes but later said she felt put on the spot in public, and if I’d proposed in private, she probably would've said no. I’m in my feelings trying not to cry right now. FML
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    Party trick

    Anonymous - 11/10/2025 09:00

    Today, I went to my cousin’s wedding and started tearing up during the vows. I reached into my purse for a tissue but accidentally pulled out a tampon, which flew across the aisle and landed right between the bride and groom. It's probably going to make it into the wedding video. FML
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    Busted

    PhuckedUpppo - 14/10/2025 22:00

    Today, I’m getting a divorce because apparently, when you send your now soon-to-be ex wife a live photo and she presses on it, you can hear your mistress speaking in the background. FML
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    Square one

    Jessica - 21/10/2025 00:00

    Today, after spending last year putting in hard work, which paid off and I got my dream job, due to my own mismanagement of stress my dream job is gone and life is back at square one. Now everyone's predictions of me being a waste of space are true and I have to reinvent my life. Starting over at 38 after already starting over at 36. I can't anymore. FML
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    You played yourself

    Anonymous - 22/10/2025 20:00

    Today, my girl likes to wear my boxers around the house but she was in a pair I’d not seen before. I asked her and she went all quiet and guilty looking. Dudes, I literally caught my girlfriend in another man’s drawers. It would be tragic but right now it’s just too funny. FML
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    Cough up

    Thilo Pieper - 24/10/2025 15:00

    Today, I missed a free flight paid by the company I was supposed to work for, because I was sick. I was then told that I had to pay myself later. Should I have never gotten so sick that I had to miss that flight? FML
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    Losing my mind

    Anonymous - 26/10/2025 09:00

    Today, my mom and I were talking about a wedding decoration that we are going to use at my wedding. I insisted that I gave the decorations to her and I didn’t bother looking in my house. She came over for the night and cleaned while I was at work. She found the decorations that I'd insisted that I'd given to her. FML
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    Free thinker

    Anonymous - 29/10/2025 22:00

    Today, I was babysitting my nephew and told him he could “say anything” to the nice old lady at the park who gave him candy. He looked her dead in the eye and said, “My aunt says people your age shouldn’t drive anymore.” She glared at me like I'd ran over her cat. FML
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    Unilateral

    puppyless82 - 02/11/2025 12:00

    Today, my husband re-homed the puppy I got because he chewed his sandals. I spent $5000 on the puppy, including microchipping, certifications, etc. He told me, “That’ll teach you to stop spending our money on dumb shit.” Oh, and I have to get him new sandals. FML
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    Slammed

    Anonymous - 04/11/2025 03:00

    Today, I walked into court with DNA evidence my ex-wife’s 5 month old son isn’t mine, and somehow I walked out of court still required to pay child support to my cheating whore ex. How is this legal? He’s not mine. I’m not even on the birth certificate. FML
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    Honest work

    Anonymous - 05/11/2025 22:00

    Today, I caught my boyfriend watching my sister's OnlyFans videos. I’m not sure what’s worse, that he masturbates to my sister, or that my sister actually does OnlyFans videos. I need a drink and a new boyfriend. FML
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    Self report

    Anonymous - 16/11/2025 15:00

    Today, my fiancée's son mocked me at breakfast. When I reprimanded him for being disrespectful, my fiancée rolled her eyes and said he was being playful and to stop criticizing him. He's 6, he's damn well old enough to know that mocking someone is rude. FML
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    Brighten up

    Anonymous - 18/11/2025 09:00

    Today, my wife decided to paint our dreary blue living room all white to brighten the place up. It does look brighter, I just don’t know why she used brilliant white gloss. The walls are shiny as fuck and reflect the light in your eyes everywhere you sit. FML
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    Let's grow old together

    Eric - 20/11/2025 03:00

    Today, I stood up wrong from the toilet, leading to me pulling a muscle in both of my thighs, just above the knees. This made me feel old, and even older when I immediately remembered this website from when I was still young. I'm 29 now. FML
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    Spillage

    Anonymous - 21/11/2025 22:00

    Today, I had an interview for a job I’ve dreamt about. I sat down in the lobby and spilled coffee on my crotch. I tried to dry it in the toilet, which made it look like I’d pissed myself. When I entered his office, the HR guy glanced down and said, “Long morning?” I panicked and replied, “No, just excited to be here.” FML
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    Naughty boy

    Mark - 25/11/2025 12:00

    Today, coming home with my water bottle and venti Starbucks in one hand, and my 4 month-old leashed puppy on my other hand, I entered my condo building as a little girl was holding the door open. As I said thank you, my dog lunged towards her, I pulled him back, and most of my Caramel Brûlée Latte went flying. FML
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    Too little, too late

    Anonymous - 29/11/2025 00:00

    Today, after a few years of not feeling ready since my daughter born, I went to my ex's apartment to tell her I am ready to be a dad. Turns out she moved out, two years ago, and left me forwarding address for me. I tried calling her phone. The number was disconnected. FML
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    Talk saucy to me

    Anonymous - 30/11/2025 20:00

    Today, as my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I asked him if he was going to fuck my brains out and make me his dumb little cock sleeve. He said, "That's kind of degrading, isn't it?" Instant mood kill. Never date a man who can't talk dirty. FML
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    Kinda sus

    TheCarl - 02/12/2025 15:00

    Today, Amazon delivered an item I need urgently for air travel later in the day. To the wrong address. From the photo, I could see which house they had delivered it to. They weren't home, but a camera was pointing at the item. My behaviour was indistinguishable from that of a porch pirate. FML
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    Signed, sealed, delivered

    Anonymous - 04/12/2025 09:00

    Today, I received a package and confidently told the delivery guy I didn’t need to sign because it was “hands-free these days.” He stared at me, pointed at the giant screen that clearly required a signature, and said, “Not for this one.” I scribbled in shame. FML
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    FMyLife FMyLife
    FMyLife FMyLife
    Today, I came home and heard the shower running. Assuming my roommate was in there, I yelled, “Don’t use up all the hot water!” Then my roommate walked in with groceries. I froze. The shower stopped. The bathroom was empty. Now I have to move out or start charging rent to a ghost. FML
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    Today, my grandmother said she's noticed that I've been very angry lately. She came to the conclusion that I "haven't been laid enough" and my boyfriend is "not doing his job." Thanks Grandma. FML
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    Today, after losing my job, my apartment and my man, I had to move back in with my mom, at 37. She’s a total slob; I can’t function without clean, organized spaces. So, hey, at least I have a new full-time job now: cleaning up after her. FML
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    Today, after months of being friendly and flirty with a very close friend, they've started ghosting me and cancelling everything that has been planned. They will only message to moan or ask for help. FML
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    Today, I realized that I'm so depressed that I can't even watch porn without getting upset about how I can't get laid. FML
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    Today, my exchange student asked me for a ride to a party at a friend's house that I didn't know about. When I said, "Oh, just let me change", she replied, "I just need the ride, you're not invited." FML
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    © VDM SAS,

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