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By MYLIFESUX - 12/04/2009 06:50 - United States

Today, I was sitting using my laptop, while eating a bag of Starbursts. The bag slid off the bed, so I went to catch it and in the process my knee hit my laptop, which flew off the bed onto the wooden floor, and shattered. I broke my laptop to save 11 Starbursts from falling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 215

You deserved it 56 981

Happy Caturday

By Anonymous - 21/05/2022 10:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my cat got sprayed by a skunk for the fifth time in two years. He still loves to chase skunks, and gets sprayed every time he does. The putrid scent doesn’t seem to bother him at all, either. Every night, he normally pushes himself up against my face and nose. It’s gonna be a long, restless smelly few days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 779

You deserved it 256

By Anonymous - 10/05/2012 06:25 - United States - Bedford

Today, my neighbors got a motion sensor light that points at my window. It's so sensitive that it goes off every time an insect flies past. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 001

You deserved it 1 928

So frustrating!

By Justawoman - 04/06/2014 15:52 - Denmark - Aarhus

Today, my boyfriend complained all day about being bored, so wanting to cheer him up, I put on some sexy clothes and went to his house. I got on his bed in my underwear and called him over. He quickly decided he'd rather play Diablo for the next five hours instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 620

You deserved it 8 651

By A-64 - 08/05/2012 20:48 - Belgium - Brussels

Today, against my wishes, my son snuck out of my house to go partying. When he came home, I called him in so I could properly discipline him. While I was talking, he staggered to our fish tank, pulled open the lid, and vomited straight into it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 436

You deserved it 5 233

User review

By Anna - 06/07/2011 06:15 - United States

Today, my ex-boyfriend posted on my boyfriend's Facebook wall. Apparently, I give awful blowjobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 245

You deserved it 11 707

By Anonymous - 08/09/2010 11:24 - United Kingdom

Today, my mum thought it would be acceptable to tell my school that the reason I will not be attending classes is because I have "the shits." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 758

You deserved it 3 246

The pits

By speedstick - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I received an anonymous letter telling me that I smell bad, and suggesting that I wear more deodorant. Apparently my BO is so bad that someone feels the need to stalk me to point it out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 150

You deserved it 34 930

By Lewis - 04/09/2010 11:02 - Australia

Today, I walked in the door and heard my husband calling me to the bedroom. I got a little excited, took my clothes off, and walked into the bedroom. I forgot our mortgagor was inspecting our house today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 272

You deserved it 34 539

Friends for life

By Anonymous - 12/03/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, my longtime crush and best friend got a new girlfriend, with the same interests him and I share. Despite us being compatible in interests, he just never saw me in a romantic way. When I asked if we’re so alike, what does she have that I don’t? He said, “Trust me, you don’t want to know the answer.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 193

You deserved it 664

By Birthday Surprise - 26/05/2014 21:18 - United States - Fayetteville

Today, my parents thought it would be a great surprise to accidentally shoot me in the leg for my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 671

You deserved it 5 000

By MyLifeSucks - 15/04/2013 22:11 - United States - Houston

Today, my mother accused me of stealing pills; she looked all over my room and couldn't find them. When she went back to the pantry, she saw them on the shelf below where they were supposed to be. She then accused me of putting them there while she was searching my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 029

You deserved it 2 818

Fantasy research

By tillyg15 - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Droitwich

Today, I had to ring up our local competitors to get prices for paint. I pretended I'd just bought a house and was doing it up, and I actually got excited about doing up a make-believe house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 769

You deserved it 5 055

By 20lbknockout - 20/10/2009 04:26 - United States

Today, I was exercising, laid on my back, lifting weights over my head. My boyfriend thought it would be funny to casually sit by my feet and suddenly tickle them mercilessly. Caught off guard, I started wiggling, laughed and dropped the weights. On my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 134

You deserved it 3 558

By ashlan - 23/05/2014 00:54 - United States

Today, a customer left a Starbucks card in the tip jar at work. It was empty. I work at Starbucks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 338

You deserved it 4 387

ashlan tells us more.

ashlan 13

Friday 23 May 2014 17:30

Yes we get tips. It adds an extra few dollars an hour. Why wouldn't we get tips? We provide a service.

By Anonymous - 19/10/2009 08:46 - United States

Today, I started my first day at work, I've been unemployed for a while and am in college, so naturally I have no money. At the end of my shift, I ask what we do with the extra bread, and they tell me to throw it away. Being poor and hungry, I decide to take the bread home. I got fired for stealing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 481

You deserved it 10 312

All on me

By starrybrooke - 06/04/2009 08:40 - United States

Today, while working the dinner rush at my job, every single computer, credit card machine, and printer froze for an hour and a half. The reason behind this issue was a large wire ripped from the mainframe, the same wire I tripped over 20 seconds before while my boss watched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 625

You deserved it 9 953

By NickJJ - 16/05/2014 02:34 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I woke up to somebody shaking my shoulder. I had slept over at a friend's house, so I assumed my friend was just fooling around. With my head under the pillow, I swung my hand at his face then gave him the finger. Turns out, my friend left for basketball and I had slept in. It was his mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 523

You deserved it 18 457

You were warned

By kko - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, a man next to me was feeding the birds when he ran out of food. We were at Adventure Island and there were "Do not feed the birds" signs everywhere. The birds then became aggressive and started savaging the both of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 693

You deserved it 4 906

Sexy time

By Anonymous - 17/10/2009 02:27 - United States

Today, I heard some rhythmic moaning from the apartment next door. It took me 10 minutes to realize that my neighbor was not having it off, she was actually vacuuming her apartment. It's been so long since I've had sex that I can't even recognize the sound of other people having it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 097

You deserved it 4 530

Primitive art

By Anonymous - 19/04/2021 00:30

Today, I went to check on my 2 year-old daughter in her playroom, since she was being awfully quiet. I walk in to see her finger painting with her own feces on her kiddie table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 944

You deserved it 303

A tale as old as "Time" by Pink Floyd

By Nelly - 04/10/2023 18:30

Today, now that I've lost a significant amount of weight, all the guys that turned me down saying they “liked me as just a friend” all of a sudden are in my DMs saying, “Hey beautiful” and asking me out on a date. Nice to know I’m only liked for my body. FML

I agree, your life sucks 912

You deserved it 341

Looking good

By ShutTheFuCupcake - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - Canada - Calgary

Today, I flexed so hard for a selfie, I gave myself a hernia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 789

You deserved it 71 718

By ohgodwhy - 06/04/2013 14:15 - Canada - Elliot Lake

Today, I was watching a movie with my parents when a sex scene came on. As if that wasn't awkward enough, they started making out on the couch behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 431

You deserved it 5 717

The ending of Lost explained

By Morgan - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I lost my dog. I looked around my neighborhood for hours, and found him under my bed asleep when I got home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 870

You deserved it 30 084

By Anonymous - 02/04/2009 04:36 - United States

Today, my friend was saying how her "nano" died. I quickly responded by saying, "So? Recharge it." Turns out she didn't say "nano"; she'd said "nana." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 569

You deserved it 51 589

By Anonymous - 30/08/2019 12:00

Today, after almost a year of dating and getting dumped out of the blue, I found out my ex-girlfriend wants to get a restraining order against me. I guess dropping a box of her things on her porch after she wouldn't answer her phone is considered stalking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 681

You deserved it 182

By wmkaz - 21/04/2012 06:15 - Canada - Sault Sainte Marie

Today, I am six months pregnant and have been lactating. When I noticed this and pointed it out to my husband, I jokingly stated that I felt like a cow. He then replied. "Oh, you're not a cow. At most you're just a fat pig." He still has no clue why I'm upset. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 206

You deserved it 5 045

Back to black

By drycleanplz - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Reserved

Today, I wore my expensive new white jacket to work, thinking it would be a nice change from my usual black. I managed to lean in printer ink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 102

You deserved it 13 082

By springbreak09 - 01/04/2009 06:03 - Mexico

Today, I left for vacation in Mexico. Upon landing, I received a text message from the guy I've been seeing. It read, "Sorry, I'm not boyfriend material. Have a good trip." I paid 75 cents to get dumped, internationally. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 936

You deserved it 5 651

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The Top

Today, I was working at the hospital and it was very busy. Unthinking, I told a patient in a wheelchair to "sit tight" while I checked on something. He mocked me for the rest of his stay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 183

You deserved it 2 560

Today, I got a large envelope from a college I applied to earlier. My mom, expecting big news, made my family gather round as I opened it. It ended up being a letter of rejection from not just that school, but all three campuses of the state college. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 301

You deserved it 2 784

Today, at work at a gas station kiosk, a man requested a carton of cigarettes. We keep our cigarettes on a high shelf. I'm short and very large chested so I have to jump in order to reach the carton. He said, "I only come here for the entertainment" and left without purchasing his cigarettes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 955

You deserved it 4 022

Today, not long after having had my college volleyball scholarship confirmed, I broke my ankle after stepping on and tripping over a toy my baby sister had left out. No scholarship and no college whatsoever now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 758

You deserved it 3 024

Today, I met my father for the first time since I was a baby. The first comment out of his mouth was, "I bet all the boys love those motherfucking bazongas, don't they?" Hi, Dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 862

You deserved it 3 804

Today, I went to the hospital to get a cast that I have been wearing for the past three months removed from my wrist. Thanks to said cast, I couldn't have any summer fun at all. The doctor took a final X-ray and said, "Well look at that, your wrist wasn't fractured to begin with." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 991

You deserved it 164