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Hey guys! I wrote that FML. Yep, wasn't one of my best moments, but it's something we can laugh at now especially since he's usually the one that's gassy! Thanks for reading it and I hope you all had a good laugh too! (I would just like to add that I'm about to click "Spill the beans!" and I'm dying over the irony.)

By chunkymonkey - 24/08/2012 13:53 - United States

Today, my boyfriend actually held onto my love handles while we were having sex. He said they "made it easier." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 362

You deserved it 10 361

Avoidance tactics

By busrides - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I saw the girl I had confessed my love to two years ago on the bus. We chatted for a few minutes and she got off on the first stop, saying that this is where she had to get off. Twenty minutes later, I see her in the bus next to mine. The bus number was 20. Like mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 102

You deserved it 5 836

Thanks for nothing

By booboo300 - 22/12/2018 02:00

Today, I picked up my Gardasil 9 HPV update shot that my doctor prescribed, only to discover that not only do I need three of them, they are $200 apiece. The guy I was dating who was the reason I needed the booster broke up with me on Friday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 133

You deserved it 294

By wow - 02/11/2014 15:23 - United States - Gainesville

Today, my daughter mentioned that she didn't need to work because she could convert a dollar to 13 Mexican pesos and convert it back into "13 USD", over and over again. She's 17. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 145

You deserved it 5 245

By Anonymous - 07/02/2017 04:00 - Canada - Jansen

Today, I was talking to a girl online and she stopped talking to me abruptly after seeing my picture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 320

You deserved it 784

By funyfunkid - 22/12/2009 19:18 - United States

Today, I saw a roach on my toilet. I thought it would be funny to pee on it. It jumped out, which scared me; I hit my head on the wall and started bleeding, then I peed all over myself and the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 137

You deserved it 47 992

Tori Amos?

By wedeserveeachother - 24/01/2022 20:01 - United States - Federal Way

Today, I made up a lie to my girlfriend so I could go to a club with my friends. My girlfriend told me that she was going to stay in and watch a movie. Guess who I shockingly ran into at the club, with her girlfriends? FML

I agree, your life sucks 227

You deserved it 2 362

By xOdaatx - 26/09/2011 13:01 - Australia

Today, my fiancé told me his ex-wife was 5 weeks pregnant. I was happy for her, and glad she had finally moved on. Until I found out who the father was. They're moving back in together, for the baby's sake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 553

You deserved it 3 062

By nokitchenforme - 03/12/2010 05:18 - Canada

Today, I overheard my mother telling a friend she got me oven mitts for Christmas. I got her two cruise tickets. I hate to cook. Which she knows. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 452

You deserved it 3 173

By UnluckyEMT - 27/12/2018 14:00

Today, someone I've been crushing on admitted they're attracted to me too. We hooked up, but now she says we can't date because she is already dating someone. I feel terrible for them, and now know she isn't the kind of person I thought she was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 816

You deserved it 499

By Anonymous - 26/07/2013 14:26 - United States - Campbellsville

Today, I was at a pool party with some friends. We decided to play chicken and I was on the shoulders of the guy I like. Right as we started playing, for some unearthly reason my body decided to let out a little pee. I thought he wouldn't notice since we were already wet. He did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 586

You deserved it 18 785

By babybambi - 29/12/2018 02:00

Today, I got food poisoning for the first time after cooking. Yesterday, I met my boyfriend's family for the first time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 406

You deserved it 296

By Van - 20/12/2009 06:32 - United States

Today, I was at work at Hollywood Video. A guy came in and left without renting anything. Minutes later, I find human feces between the "Kids" and "Comedy" aisles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 565

You deserved it 2 302

By Anonymous - 29/11/2010 19:09

Today, my girlfriend threw my X-box out the window, because I asked her how much she weighs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 316

You deserved it 56 476

Brain freeze

By Anonymous - 02/06/2009 23:13 - United States

Today, I was working my job as a waitress near my college. I handed a customer her check, and she noticed that I had added her bill wrong. I apologized, and she pointed to my "student" labeled nametag, asking what I was studying. I said English. I'm a math major. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 128

You deserved it 47 103

Panopticon

By never marry a jealous man! - 04/05/2023 10:00 - United States

Today, I got sick of my in-laws always dropping by when my husband was out. Turns out he asked them to check I didn’t have anyone there. When I confronted him, he created a new “rule”. I can either have my mother-in-law stay full time or I can stay at their house until he gets off work. No, I’ve never cheated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 541

You deserved it 151

Workplace hook ups are never a good idea

By Fernanda - 02/05/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, I learned I have to kiss my career goodbye, all because I decided to give a colleague road head while he was driving to a company function. I was fired and arrested for indecent exposure. Now it’s all on my record and my Master’s in Early Childhood Education can basically be used for toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 135

You deserved it 763

By HeckIfIKnow - 22/10/2014 03:36 - United States - Thousand Oaks

Today, I lost my laptop, but I have my old childhood computer to use. It's password-protected, and the hint to the password is "meaner than Hera." I haven't been into Greek mythology since I was a kid, and if anything, this computer has just shown me how dumb I've gotten over the years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 820

You deserved it 6 293

HeckIfIKnow tells us more.

HeckIfIKnow 3

Friday 24 October 2014 2:52

So I never figured it out (although I'm pretty sure it wasn't the God of Farts) but the computer was really old anyway, so I'm just gonna borrow my mom's / use the one allotted to me at work until I can afford a new one. Thanks for the suggestions!

By Anonymous - 21/07/2013 21:49 - Canada - Drumheller

Today, while arguing with my newly ex-girlfriend over how she cheated on me with a mutual friend, she tried to wash her hands of any guilt, saying that I was "selfish" and "just slut-shaming, really". FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 211

You deserved it 3 793