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First of all, I'm a woman... Not a man. So I'm most definitely not a mama's boy. My mom lives near by and she's older. I am the youngest as well. It's easier to say "stand up to her" or "grow some balls" - I've tried that and trust me... It's not worth the fight that happens afterward. Thanks for listening though.

Less haste, more speed

By Ouch - 20/05/2012 04:06 - United States - Costa Mesa

Today, I tried to beat my dad to the car. I jumped over the steel cables in the parking structure and hit my head on a metal pipe, then bounced off the wires, and onto my back on the pavement. Good thing we were already at the hospital to visit my sick mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 613

You deserved it 26 822

By Lo - 15/04/2009 05:14 - United States

Today, my friend drove me me to catch the 8 pm train. Running late, we screeched into the parking lot at 7:57, stopped the car in a 'no stop' zone. I said goodbye to my friend, sprinted to my train and barely made it. Then, with the train in motion, I noticed my friend's car keys in my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 054

You deserved it 19 695

Lohbj tells us more.

Lohbj 0

Thursday 16 April 2009 8:07

ATTENTION: I AM THE ONE WHO POSTED THIS FML 1. I think it's hilarious how many of you think it is fake. 2. If you've ever posted on FML before, you'll know you can only put 300 characters which means details are left out. 3. We were running so late that my friend ran inside to scan my ticket (I bought online so I had to get the actual ticket from the counter) while I got all my bags from the car. I grabbed the keys out of the car because I met her in the lobby to exchange keys for tickets (I didn't want her car to sit there running in the middle of the street.) We were so flustered about catching the train , I snatched the ticket and took off running for the train. We didn't even realize we didn't switch back the keys. FML

By Beth - 28/04/2013 13:16 - United States - Raleigh

Today, my parents decided to wake me up on my birthday. They flashed the lights and yanked off my bed sheets. I sleep naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 960

You deserved it 11 783

By Username - 15/09/2010 18:02 - France

Today, after telling me his other girlfriend is pregnant, my boyfriend said we should stay together so I could help out with the baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 113

You deserved it 4 833

By seussical65 - 14/04/2009 13:48 - United States

Today, during dress rehearsal before the show, I came in with crutches pretending I broke my leg as a joke. I then threw away the crutches, laughed and then fell down some stairs. I am now in crutches with a broken leg. I was the lead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 743

You deserved it 93 587

Overreaction much?

By brokenglass - 24/03/2021 21:30

Today, while bringing my grandmother some water, I tripped, dropping and shattering the glass. Infuriated, she explained to me that the glass was worth more than I am and ordered me out of her house for good. I live there. I was also with her when she bought the glass. $10 for a set of 4. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 078

You deserved it 84

Party pooper

By imbx - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was at a pool party. My friend's little sister pushed me in the pool, so when I got out, I pushed her in. She started screaming, and I started laughing because I thought she was pissed that I'd pushed her in. That wasn't why she was screaming. She can't swim. Her whole family witnessed it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 172

You deserved it 20 449

Heated gamer moment

By Anonymous - 16/06/2022 00:00

Today, I thought it would be hot to go down on my girlfriend while she was playing a video game on the PC. Unfortunately, someone killed her in game and she wheeled the chair forward in anger, right into my nuts. It took her a few seconds to notice, then she blamed me for getting her killed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 563

You deserved it 738

By rj - 12/05/2012 14:42 - United States - Goddard

Today, my wife told me she was pregnant. I don't remember having sex since last year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 630

You deserved it 5 840

By aireeahna - 09/06/2014 02:42 - United States - Cedar Rapids

Today, I'm 5 weeks pregnant and just found out that my boyfriend has such a phobia of holding babies, that he's going to be the one most in need of a diaper change when I give birth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 851

You deserved it 6 834

aireeahna tells us more.

aireeahna 23

Tuesday 10 June 2014 7:16

Op here. So to start off I have been with my boyfriend for almost 5 years. The issue never really came up over the years because we were never really around babies, he is really good with children so I just assumed that he was good with babies as well. When it did come up we were at his little brother's graduation party. I was holding a cousins newborn baby and asked him to hold him so that I could go to the bathroom but instead of taking the baby he backed away from me almost stumbling over his own feet because he was in such a hurry to get out of the situation. I asked his mother what his problem was and she just said that he has always been scared to hold babies since his brother was born. I have yet to tell him that we are expecting because our 5 year anniversary is at the end of this month and I wanted to tell him while we're on vacation. The baby is obviously unplanned but I don't regret getting pregnant and I'm sure that my boyfriend will be just as happy as I am with the news. The only other person who knows right now is my best friend who is due in September and she is going to let him practice hold the baby so that he'll be more comfortable but until then I think we'll stick to dolls and toddlers :p

By outofajob - 08/07/2011 05:10 - United States

Today, after not receiving my paycheck for over a month, I confronted my boss about it. His response? "You still work here?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 786

You deserved it 3 898