The Top

nah dude. the kids were playing that dumb game where you pretendingly dart in front of a car and then dart back, it's a really idiotic game. but they were never really in danger of getting hit.

Dumbass

By SpookyBiscuits - 27/12/2016 16:27

Today, my boss wants to sort people in his contact list by last name, so I showed him how to switch the sorting from first to last. He tried to correct it by writing the first name in the last name spot and vice versa. Now he wants me to go through and change them all back. All 200+ of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 901

You deserved it 524

By ShitHappens2016 - 16/04/2017 18:00

Today, my mother-in-law texted to wish me a happy birthday. She spelled my name wrong and it's not my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 899

You deserved it 331

Good boy

By Anonymous - 11/05/2017 02:00

Today, my dog was diagnosed with a torn ACL. This costs $1500-$2500 to treat. Three months ago, he had heart worms. That cost $1400 to treat. I adopted this dog from a shelter four months ago to help relieve some of my stress and anxiety. I don't feel any less stressed or anxious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 804

You deserved it 566

Training day

By smalls727 - 22/11/2016 17:46

Today, I was at orientation for my new job. There were only 6 other people in the training. Throughout the whole entire training, I kept smelling cat piss and moved further away from the other person, only to later get in my car and realize my cat had peed in my purse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 735

You deserved it 2 413

Freak out

By LaurenB - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Epping

Today, after a very painful mouth surgery, I went home to take a nap. Then my nose started bleeding, so I stuck a tissue in it and fell asleep. When I woke up, I was so high from painkillers that when I saw the tissue, I thought it was a ghost. I screamed so loud I burst a stitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 860

You deserved it 5 443

By Jetlagged - 03/06/2017 22:00

Today, I'm stuck at the airport overnight, because my phone didn't update its time zone after flying in, so I watched my train leave, thinking mine wasn't due for another hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 522

You deserved it 1 908

By Anonymous - 03/07/2019 20:02

Today, my brother has two broken arms and needs help wiping his own ass. Bonus, he has bad diarrhoea from the food poisoning he got from the shrimp he made me hand-feed him yesterday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 984

You deserved it 188

Shitty customers

By Rosie J. - 10/11/2016 02:45 - United States - Leawood

Today, I saw an older gentleman running through my store. I wasn't sure why he was running towards the front door until I looked at the floor and saw a poop trail behind him. The trail went from the front of the store all the way to the back of the store. Guess who had to get the mop and bucket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 430

You deserved it 589

By Severus_Snape_ - 20/09/2015 07:11 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I got a mosquito bite on my wrist. Maybe I'm paranoid, but I am pretty sure mosquito bites are not supposed to start crawling up to your armpit while swelling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 101

You deserved it 1 676

Severus_Snape_ tells us more.

Severus_Snape_ 23

Sunday 20 September 2015 23:11

Wow, this is the first time one of my FMLs have been accepted! I googled whatever was happening on my arm, and I think 26 may or may not be right. According to the internet, if should go away in a few days, and it was a spider bite. But ever since I was a kid, I've always attracted some weird bug bites, but this has never happened to me before. Unfortunately, I am the type of person that will twist my wrist and still just say that I'm fine. Like that time where I threw up twice when I was 11 years old and still insisted that I was well enough to go to school, only to be sent back home when I threw up again. I applied some type of cream thing on the bite, and it has gotten better. It'll probably go away in a few days. Hopefully.