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Hey, OP here. A few things I couldn't put due to word limits: the flight I was getting off was coming in late due to weather. I literally had one minute to get to the gate once off the plane. The connecting flight had started loading at the same time we landed. On top of that, the crew to dock us were having issues and delayed us in getting off. I wouldn't have even had time to stop at a bathroom on the way. The gate I needed to get to was upstairs. Since it was a delay out of my control, I did get moved to another flight for free, it just happened to be the latest one heading back to home. I could have probably made it to (or barely missed) last call if I hauled it but I was not going to do that while bleeding. I didn't know that airplanes had amenities like that in the bathroom. I've never actually been in one, and it was only my second time flying. (That toilet paper trick doesn't work for me, mine is too heavy, sadly.)

OP here. I had to stay where I was while the police talked to the dealership to get it sorted out. Once they realized I had the keys and the paperwork, they let me go. The dealership said this has never happened before and they're going to make it right by fixing my car for free as well as detailing and oil change.

Hi op here! I'm only twenty. I have plenty of time to date. This happened months ago anyways. I have an amazing boyfriend now. And yes I was single for seven months. You would too if you catch your ex sleeping with your cousin. It was a wedding ring and he is still happily married with a baby on the way.

Follow up - He was back together with her and neglected to tell me. He was having a dinner date with her when I arrived, so I kind of handed over the gifts and walked away. and cornyrob - Super funny you'd mention the wedding singer. That's his favourite rom-com. Although in this situation, my adam sandler was most definitely aware his Linda was around. It really kills me that this made it onto the FMLs.

Hey all, OP here To everyone wondering: yes, it was disgusting. After freaking out for a little, I just tried my best not to puke and washed the cockroach guts off my back. I smashed the half-dead cockroach with a shampoo bottle just to put the poor thing out of its misery and threw out the loofah. Speaking of the loofah, it was one of those really hard thick sponges, which is probably why the cockroach's shell got crushed by it (I also thought cockroaches' shells were too tough to be crushed like that, but maybe the steam from the shower softened it?) Anyway, though it was really really gross, the one good thing that came out of this is that my FML actually got posted, which is pretty cool. Thanks guys :)