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Monday morning grind

By Anonymous - 15/12/2025 15:00

Today, I joined a work call while rushing breakfast. I muted myself, or so I thought, until my boss asked who was “chomping.” I froze, mid-bite, while everyone waited. My coworker said it sounded “nutritious,” which somehow made it worse. I didn’t speak again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 383

Unnerving

By Anonymous - 27/10/2021 14:00 - United States - Norristown

Today, I went to the emergency room. A medicine I'm on for my nerve disease is causing me to have stomach pains. If I get off the medicine though, the nerve disease can get worse. If I stay on the medicine, I can continue to have stomach pains and vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 081

You deserved it 85

Strung out

By Anonymous - 22/01/2023 22:30 - Australia

Today, I realised just how caffeine dependent I am. I didn't have time for my morning coffee, work is out of milk, and I only have $1.30 in my bank account, so I couldn't buy a coffee. Today has been a struggle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 416

You deserved it 665

Tight fit

By Janet is here - 03/06/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, I tried on a sweater in a store. It was a bit tight, but I managed to get it on. When I tried to take it off, it got stuck halfway. After several failed attempts, a sales associate had to help me out of it, while other customers watched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 195

You deserved it 501

Nice but weird

By Anonymous - 20/12/2025 09:00

Today, my boss sent a Christmas present… to my dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 270

You deserved it 95

Good thing IQ isn't real

By Anonymous - 26/01/2023 16:30 - Germany

Today, I was looking for flower seeds on the internet, wanting the same pretty flowers that my mom has. My mom, who lives next door, and whose pretty flowers grow seeds that I could just have picked and planted. It seems a high IQ does not prevent you from simply being stupid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 231

You deserved it 796

Great, just great

By Anonymous - 06/06/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, after finally working there long enough for medical and dental insurance to kick in, my employers decided we should part ways. Then, while I was eating dinner, my crown popped off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 565

You deserved it 72

Stiff competition

By Anonymous - 23/12/2025 20:00

Today, my husband has erectile dysfunction and is too scared to see a local doctor to get prescription helpers. He wants me to fly to another country and buy them over the counter for him instead! And I'm travelling next week. Not sure which is worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 355

You deserved it 98

By shouldveknown - 27/01/2011 20:15 - Canada

Today, I found out that the money my boyfriend has "secretly" been putting away for the last two months is not for an engagement ring like I'd thought, but for a trip to Vegas I'm not invited to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 371

You deserved it 7 657

Self report

By Wow ok - 09/06/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I realized that I am what the internet refers to as a "neckbeard." I really need to get my shit together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 221

You deserved it 333

Synchronize your watches

By Anonymous - 24/12/2025 20:00

Today, I texted my partner that I was “on my way.” I then sat on the couch doomscrolling for another 25 minutes. When I finally left, I ran into him in the parking lot, holding groceries, staring at me like I’d just lied for the fun of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53

You deserved it 840

Mystery toilet

By wellcrap - 03/10/2013 05:41 - United States - Carrollton

Today, I walked into a really fancy hotel bathroom. I spoke to the attendant and gave her my purse and coat while I used the toilet. When I came out, she was gone. The receptionist informed me they didn't have a bathroom attendant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 052

You deserved it 52 553

Smash that button

By Ihategamersex - 26/12/2025 20:00

Today, my boyfriend, who is a full-time gamer, said to me during sex, "I want to right click you so bad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 311

You deserved it 129

Plumbing issues

By oops - 25/01/2023 03:00

Today, I realized that sometimes when I sneeze, I pee a little. I’m 28 years-old and I've never had kid; I’m even a virgin. This shouldn’t be happening. FML

I agree, your life sucks 900

You deserved it 173

By klaatu barada nikto - 20/01/2015 13:23 - United States - Des Moines

Today, at the soup kitchen I volunteer at, a guy called the food crap and threatened to shove his bowl up my ass if I didn't give him something better. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 249

You deserved it 2 697

Cheers, Doc

By Anonymous - 28/01/2023 00:00

Today, I accidentally swallowed a piece of gum. My doctor says it'll pass in 7-10 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 175

You deserved it 796

Growing old sucks

By Anonymous - 03/02/2023 14:00

Today, after finally coming to terms with using insulin for my diabetes, and facing another eye surgery to correct my vision so I can do my job, I found out I have to have a melanoma removed from my foot. I'm 54. FML

I agree, your life sucks 836

You deserved it 126

Quacks

By Anonymous - 17/06/2024 00:00 - United States - Gilbert

Today, I went to see the doctor to find out if the injury to my foot will ever heal right, because it's swollen to the size of a bowling ball, and I was hoping to start a method of treatment to get it back to what it was like before. When I asked, the doctor said, "It might, might not." So much for that hope. FML

I agree, your life sucks 422

You deserved it 90

Gimme the money, lady

By Yudith - 02/01/2026 20:00

Today, I have to send to court for non-payment of rent the lady whose lease was apparently written by a four-year-old, or so the last judge who dismissed the last non-payment case for the same lady said. Said lady owes more than three months of rent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 145

You deserved it 297

Is that even legal?

By Anonymous - 19/06/2024 06:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I went for like my tenth job interview this week and yet again I had some smug interviewer who expected me to have an expert level answer to every question he asked me, and yet when I asked him about salary all he would tell me was it was "competitive." So probably less than 50% minimum wage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 449

You deserved it 96

Plenty of fish (or not)

By Lonely - 05/01/2026 03:00

Today, I have been single for four years. During this time, I have hit it off with a dozen women. Ten of them turned out to be very religious or in cults, which is a deal breaker to me. Of the remaining two, one became a dear friend before blocking me when she met her now boyfriend, and the last one is asexual. FML

I agree, your life sucks 370

You deserved it 152

Close call

By Anonymous - 08/01/2026 00:00

Today, I slipped on a wet floor in the grocery store. Instead of falling gracefully or quickly, I windmilled my arms for a few seconds while making direct eye contact with a toddler who looked genuinely impressed. I didn’t fall, but still… FML

I agree, your life sucks 331

You deserved it 92

Good boy

By bonertoolong - 23/11/2011 08:19 - United States

Today, I tried to teach my dog tricks. Somehow, I thought it would be easier if I physically showed my dog how to roll, so I rolled on the floor in front of my dog. My sister recorded me and posted it on Facebook. Now everyone thinks I'm an idiot and my dog still can't roll. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 572

You deserved it 24 118

Survivalists celebrate Halloween too

By IHaveThePower - 01/11/2021 08:00

Today, in Nevada during Halloween night, I discovered my neighbors have something that sounds an awful lot like an explosive. I can't see anything on fire, but WHY do my neighbors have EXPLOSIVES? FML

I agree, your life sucks 759

You deserved it 200

Unreliable bladder

By ttt - 07/02/2023 06:00

Today, while on a road trip, we stopped at a convenience store and I did not feel the need to pee at all. Ten minutes later, back on the road, my teeth were floating. I’m in my twenties and thought only little kids and the elderly had this problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 314

You deserved it 641

Another fine mess

By Anonymous - 24/06/2024 22:00 - Colombia - Corozal

Today, I was talking with my closest coworker about her boss. She told me that she yelled at her and told her, "You capricious and silly girl, you have to be more independent and brave for this job. You are a lawyer; think about your duties." She told me this as her boss came up behind us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 367

You deserved it 125

Chilling

By QuentinX - 11/01/2026 15:00

Today, I tried to casually lean against a counter during a conversation at a party and missed. I recovered by pretending I meant to crouch and check my shoelaces. No one bought it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 113

You deserved it 332

Desperate for attention

By Angie - 06/02/2023 02:00

Today, a friend of mine sent me a Twitter link, along with the question, "Isn't that your mom?" It was. She was pretending to have shaky arms from the Covid vaccine. This sort of shit is why we hardly ever talk to each other. Oh and her acting was worse than any school play I've ever seen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 061

You deserved it 143

From beyond the grave

By Anonymous - 27/06/2024 00:00 - United Kingdom - Swindon

Today, I realised that my powers of disappointment had reached a new low when my ex sent me a message saying that our friend who passed away two years ago would be very upset with me for how I'm "behaving." So upset that it's also upsetting my ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 371

You deserved it 129

Technologically challenged

By Anonymous - 14/01/2026 12:00

Today I booked an Airbnb for a few days and the instructions for the television were a laminated sheet saying, “It’s a tv, not a supercomputer, figure it out snowflake!” I can’t work out how to move it from Sky to Netflix; I’ve tried every possible button, menu, and setting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 333

You deserved it 136

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The Top

Today, I tried to make a move on the cute guy who sits opposite me at work. In theory, I was going to start a game of footsie with him. In practice, I screwed up and managed to yank his computer's power cable out. He lost his unsaved work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 079

You deserved it 17 143

Today, I accidentally dropped my phone while I was crossing the road. Luckily, it survived the fall. Not so luckily, an oncoming bus steamrolled it into oblivion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 262

You deserved it 3 877

Today, while having a screaming argument with my son in our front yard, I suddenly realized we are "that white trash family" in the neighborhood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 330

You deserved it 41 390

Today, I rode my bike to the grocery store. I left my bike on the small bike rack they have outside the door. When I came out 5 minutes later I found someone had tied their enormous, growling German Shepard to the same rack. I had to wait for the owner to come out who then laughed at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 393

You deserved it 6 557

Today, I noticed how fucked up I am generally. When as I was at school, everyone thought I would be a scientist at some prestigious institute somewhere, but now I'm actually homeless in Moscow, I live off shoplifting, sleeping at Burger King Restaurants, on buses, and in parks. I never do drugs or drink. This sucks! FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 050

You deserved it 301

Today, even after applying to literally hundreds of jobs a week for the past 6 months, I still can't get a job. Unemployment is almost gone, and I won't be able to afford my medication. I also can't figure out a painless way to kill myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 541

You deserved it 157