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Looking good

By Gracie - 20/05/2025 12:00 - Canada - Calgary

Today, at the gym, I caught sight of myself in the mirror while lifting weights and thought, “Damn, I look good!” I smiled. Then I realized the mirror was actually a window. A group of people outside had been watching me flex with a shit-eating grin on my face for God know how long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 101

You deserved it 577

Little cuties

By DanielleinDC - 22/05/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I washed the comforter one of my nine-month-old kittens peed on last night. Just as soon as my boyfriend put it on the bed, she peed on it again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 351

You deserved it 143

SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UUUUUP!

By Anonymous - 23/11/2023 18:00 - Hong Kong - Kowloon

Today, my colleagues at work sitting next to me are so open during phone calls. They always switch on their phone's speaker to the maximum volume, forcing everybody to hear what they and their counterparties say. Whilst the meeting rooms on our floor are still vacant, they don't even bother to go inside for their phone calls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 487

You deserved it 108

Driving me mad

By Anonymous - 24/05/2025 12:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I kept hearing a weird buzzing sound in my apartment. I turned off everything, unplugged appliances, and was on the verge of calling maintenance. Turns out, it was my electric toothbrush vibrating in my suitcase… for three hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 155

You deserved it 378

Home sweet home

By Hungry dad - 27/05/2025 09:00 - United States - New York

Today, I made a sandwich. When I went to grab chips, my wife snatched it. I made a second sandwich. My son came in and stole the plate when I was grabbing a seltzer. I went to make a third sandwich. No more cold cuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 512

You deserved it 129

At least…

By Anonymous - 27/11/2023 18:00 - United States - Dallas

Today, I was driving home from another long night shift at work. I live from paycheck to paycheck thanks to the current economy and can barely afford rent. To keep myself positive, I thought, "At least my car is paid off." A deer ran out in front of me and totaled my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 737

You deserved it 141

Disappointment

By Anonymous - 29/05/2025 22:00 - United States - Anaheim

Today, I feel like I’ve failed as a parent. My brilliant college-bound daughter is throwing her life and future away to play “step-mama” with her scummy dropout boyfriend. The loser is 17 with three kids but my daughter is absolutely smitten. Neither my husband nor I can make her change her mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 641

You deserved it 96

Run for the hills

By Anonymous - 21/08/2022 04:00

Today, I heard for the nth time (I lost count after 100) how my roommate and her boyfriend plan to have kids (yes, plural) because we’re "BFF family", and "family babysits for free." She’s actively trying to get pregnant, but wants to continue smoking and drinking like a fish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 897

You deserved it 103

So frustrating!

By Anonymous - 29/11/2023 18:00

Today, I bought a massive new puzzle to take my mind off of things. Hours later, I realized there was a missing piece. Frustrated, I looked everywhere for it, only to discover it was stuck to the bottom of my shoe, and I'd been walking around with it all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 460

You deserved it 147

Bon appétit

By Breakfast in the dark - 30/05/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, like many other days, I got up to make breakfast before dawn. Not wanting to waste food, I took apart a chicken that looked fine, cutting away some of the breast for a burrito, only to realize after I ate it and went to throw out the bony bits, it was completely moldy underneath. Penicillin, anyone? FML

I agree, your life sucks 318

You deserved it 183

The more you know

By Anonymous - 02/06/2025 12:00 - Australia

Today, my smart toilet analyzed my “data” and sent a health alert to my entire family group chat. With charts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 298

You deserved it 435

Pizza? In this economy?

By I do cook just FYI - 05/06/2025 09:00 - United States - New York

Today, yet again, we have a fridge full of food, but my wife asked if we can order pizza in front of the kids, who all started jumping in excitement yelling, "PIZZA!" Now I can either say no and deal with pouting and tantrums, or waste money on crappy pizza. FML

I agree, your life sucks 494

You deserved it 144

Suspicious activity

By Anonymous - 06/12/2023 09:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was working on entering a lot of information in the system. When I'd finished, I closed the screen to move on to the next steps, my boss came by to see how I was doing, just in time to see me looking at a now-blank screen. I'm convinced that my boss thinks I closed a screen that wasn't work related. FML

I agree, your life sucks 476

You deserved it 134

You talking to me?

By Anonymous - 08/12/2023 09:00 - United States - Denver

Today, I was on the train and a woman approached me from behind and told me that if I didn’t stop staring at her, she’d kill me slowly and painfully, then she pulled out a switchblade to support her argument. I wasn’t looking at her at all and was in fact looking in the opposite direction. FML

I agree, your life sucks 631

You deserved it 91

It must be love

By Anonymous - 11/06/2025 15:00

Today, my girlfriend went through my phone and when she found nothing she accused me of having a secret second phone, and is tearing apart the house and both cars looking for a secret phone. I’ve been making calls so the cops and a locksmith are on their way, I need this bitch out of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 600

You deserved it 104

I kissed a girl and I… didn't like it

By Anonymous - 19/08/2022 10:00 - Montenegro - Kotor

Today, after I kissed girl last night, who is pretty but who I don't really like, I'm going out with her tonight, and I feel more pissed than happy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 122

You deserved it 1 513

Run for the hills

By Glume - 11/12/2023 00:00 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, my boyfriend and I got into a fight. We yelled for 20 minutes and then he put his hands on my neck. Once we'd calmed down, he explained he wanted to strangle me like Homer does Bart, but didn't follow through. This all started when I asked if he read a text I sent earlier in the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 729

You deserved it 175

Heavy phone, dude

By Burton - 12/06/2021 20:00

Today, I'm in the E.R. because I broke one of my toes when my cellphone slipped from my hands after taking a shower. Needless to say, my cellphone broke too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 709

You deserved it 369

Girly bunch of giggle girls

By read the damn room - 23/08/2022 04:00

Today, my mother went on a misogynistic tirade about how girls are backstabbing bitches, and nothing but trouble. She continued saying how she wishes my sister and I would make more guy friends, and stop being so damn girly all the time. Umm… has she forgotten who she gave birth to? FML

I agree, your life sucks 838

You deserved it 175

The gift

By Anonymous - 15/12/2023 15:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I turned over in my sleep and fell out of bed, face-first into a puddle of cold cat vomit that my cat had left for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 515

You deserved it 179

Family traditions

By Anonymous - 22/08/2022 02:00

Today, according to my dad, I’m not a real man because I didn’t spend my 21st birthday alone in the mountains, hunting to feed myself and building my own survival shelter like he did and his father did. Well sorry dad, you raised me in a city miles from any mountains FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 075

You deserved it 145

Analog reverb

By Anonymous - 19/06/2025 03:00 - United States - Chattanooga

Today, I whispered to my friend during a quiet church service, “This sermon is so boring.” Turns out the whole congregation heard me perfectly, including the pastor. I guess the acoustics in these places was designed by snitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 156

You deserved it 502

Small talk

By Marina - 21/06/2025 03:00 - United Kingdom - Bolton

Today, I was in bar and got talking to a guy next to me, who turned out to be American, which is quite exotic in my part of the UK. During the conversation, he mentioned being a vet, so I went on a long tangent about my cat's diarrhoea and asked him for advice. He let me babble on for ages before smiling and saying, "Not that kind of vet." FML

I agree, your life sucks 236

You deserved it 525

Merry holidays!

By Anonymous - 23/12/2023 00:00 - Australia

Today, I started antibiotics for a UTI. Now, along with a burning sensation whenever I pee, I also need to try not to fall asleep, put up with the headaches, nausea, and lightheadedness from the tablets, all while working two jobs and being a parent. Six days to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 462

You deserved it 118

First question: Why?

By Jackie Lee - 23/06/2025 09:00 - United States - Salisbury

Today, I went dumpster diving with my partner, looking for random things, and my phone fell into the dumpster. My partner went in there to look for it and couldn't find it, so now I'm phoneless and my phone is somewhere in the dumpster mixed into the trash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 107

You deserved it 656

Message in a virtual bottle

By Anonymous - 26/06/2025 22:00 - United States - Fayetteville

Today, I was feeling extremely depressed and worthless, so I decided to use the crisis chat. I told them I felt lonely and worthless, and had nobody to talk to. They never responded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 481

You deserved it 89

Escape plan

By Lost Reggie - 28/12/2023 00:00 - United States - Conway

Today, my wife of 22 years moved 2000 miles away to start a new job. She applied in October and never told me. I've never cheated on or abused her, she just said she wanted a new life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 783

You deserved it 158

Wankers!

By Whoops - 28/06/2025 09:00 - United States - New York

Today, I visited a friend at work with a couple of other friends. We like to play pranks, so we went to his register and started loudly discussing our masturbation habits as a joke. Some bitch complained, and his boss fired him and kicked us all out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82

You deserved it 1 215

Coffeehouse Blues

By Bill - 29/12/2023 22:00 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, I bought myself my first gaming PC for Christmas. After two hours of setting it up, I proceeded to spill a full cup of coffee in to it and slowly watched it die. I'm an electronic technician so I knew better then to have my coffee anywhere near it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 216

You deserved it 803

The more you know

By Anonymous - 03/07/2025 12:00 - United States - Sacramento

Today, I got stuck in an elevator with a stranger. We made awkward small talk until the elevator started smelling like something was burning. Turns out, the elevator was overheating. We had to spend 30 minutes stuck there, and I learned way too much about this guy’s weird foot fungus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 401

You deserved it 62

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The Top

Today, at work a customer yelled at me, called me a 'fucking bitch', 'a fat whore', and, told me to lose weight because I wouldn't let her in the grocery store I work at to buy lettuce, after we'd closed. Lettuce for her lizard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 299

You deserved it 1 862

Today, I had a test in orchestra class, which I'd practiced over 30 hours for. After I played my part, which I thought I did very well, my teacher asked how long I'd practiced. Trying to show off, I said, "Oh, just 30 minutes." My teacher said, "It shows; that was terrible." She was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 958

You deserved it 59 223

Today, I had diarrhea and shit myself. During my wedding. In my wedding dress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 963

You deserved it 262

Today, my girlfriend told me that she doesn't want a physical relationship, but an emotional one instead. I said that I was fine with that, as long as we talked things through in the future. She dumped me there and then, because "no straight guy would agree to that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 296

You deserved it 467

Today, my boyfriend told me that the ring I wear on my ring finger needs to come off because it's too big. It's too big because I bought it for him and he gave it back to me 6 months later. I've been wearing it on the same finger for the last 3 months with no problems. FML

I agree, your life sucks 332

You deserved it 104

Today, my husband was offered, and accepted, pain relief during an ultrasound on his scrotum, and I’m sat here remembering how I wasn’t offered any pain relief at all while birthing a 9lb baby, because I was left in the waiting room so long they told me it was too late for an epidural. FML

I agree, your life sucks 732

You deserved it 161