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Nothing to do with us

By ticker $fml - 12/07/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, after I lost $5000 in crypto yesterday, I'm now down about $150k total since the start of the year. I just deployed more and bought $FML to make up for the losses. Hopefully it’ll happen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64

You deserved it 954

Quibbles

By Damn, Apple Worshippers! - 02/02/2026 12:00

Today, my dad's girlfriend's adult son not only questions, but also mocks and spits on my poor choices in life. All because I got an ROG 9 Pro rather than an iPhone. He claims his iPhone 12 is far more superior, brandishing its features biblically while pointing out the flaws of mine like blasphemy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 385

You deserved it 100

Dumbass move

By Anonymous - 24/02/2023 00:00

Today, I stupidly liked a post on my ex's social media account from three years ago. They then texted me immediately to ask why I was stalking them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 206

You deserved it 1 044

Just take your food, lady

By Anonymous - 04/02/2026 20:00

Today, my DoorDash account, which is my primary source of income, has been suspended. I got another ridiculous complaint from some overly sensitive Karen because she saw my three dogs in the car while I was delivering. It’s not like my babies were touching the food or something. FML

I agree, your life sucks 113

You deserved it 1 050

DIY FML

By Ally - 17/07/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, I tried doing a hair dye at home for the first time. I misread the instructions and left the dye on for twice the recommended time. Now my hair is the color of a traffic cone and brittle enough to break if I sneeze. FML

I agree, your life sucks 149

You deserved it 570

Assumptions

By Girlboss - 06/02/2026 20:00

Today, I was conducting a meeting via Zoom when I saw one of my subordinates drinking from a brightly colored can that looked like beer. I loudly called him out, interrupting one of my colleagues. He held it up and clearly visible was "SELTZER" on the can. Not even hard seltzer, just regular. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50

You deserved it 802

Bittersweet

By Anonymous - 20/07/2024 00:00

Today, I wanted to ask my girlfriend to marry me, so as she loves crosswords, I created my own where the answers spelled out "MARRY ME EVE." Unfortunately, it seems I made the clues a bit too difficult as she only solved two, gave up, and got mad at me for making her feel dumb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 473

You deserved it 175

That thing you do

By Here we go - 14/02/2026 12:00

Today, after sex, my wife of three months said, "You know, sex isn't as good now that we're married… Maybe we should take a break." I said we should spice things up. She said, firmly, "No, let's stop" and wouldn't talk to me for the rest of the night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 373

You deserved it 78

By Anonymous - 03/09/2013 19:50 - United States

Today, I had to visit a client because his printer had broken down. After driving for an hour, then being screamed at about how horrible my company's service is, I walked over to his printer and found the problem: there was no paper loaded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 430

You deserved it 3 133

How red are these flags?

By Anonymous - 25/07/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I'm in a situation where I'm in a relationship, but he doesn't talk to me at all. He love-bombed me at first, and now I'm not sure how to even talk to him. I hardly know anything about him. I wanna break up but we got together like two months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 151

You deserved it 618

The struggle is real

By Anonymous - 16/02/2026 12:00

Today, I got denied for the second job I thought I had lined up, because I’m technically related to the manager. I’ve only met her once in my life before today. The other was due to a hiring freeze. My unemployment is almost out and these are the only two calls I’ve got. FML

I agree, your life sucks 351

You deserved it 61

By Anonymous - 30/10/2011 13:16 - United States

Today, I spent two hours driving all over town looking for a store that sold pumpkins. When I finally found some, I was charged ten dollars per pumpkin. Later, I went to my town's annual Halloween festival and discovered they were giving pumpkins away for free. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 113

You deserved it 9 166

Smile politely and keep cool

By Anonymous - 06/03/2023 15:00 - United States

Today, yet again, despite the fact that I don't know anything about politics, I got roped into a political discussion with my roommates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 600

You deserved it 293

Flu season

By Anonymous - 18/02/2026 03:00

Today, without any warning, I projectile vomited all over my laptop. I think I broke my computer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 392

You deserved it 93

Stained for life

By Chris - 08/03/2023 18:00 - Ireland

Today, I went to a job interview wearing what I consider to be my lucky shirt. On my way to the interview, a bird dropped a load of bird poop on my shirt, and I didn't have time to change. During the interview, the interviewer kept staring at the poop stain on my shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 838

You deserved it 151

Worn out work out

By Anonymous - 29/07/2024 09:00 - Germany

Today, I have to admit to being extremely conservative. As in: Literally. My body is so hell-bent on conserving energy that, after a sweaty workout, it tells me, “That is quite enough, young lady. There will be no more heating of non-vital body parts for the rest of the day.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 333

You deserved it 127

Not my mistake

By Anonymous - 20/02/2026 20:00

Today, I found out that my employers apparently haven't been taking enough money out of my paychecks, and now I owe thousands of dollars in taxes. I already live paycheck to paycheck despite doing nothing but work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 456

You deserved it 94

Jumping the gun

By Anonymous - 23/02/2026 03:00

Today, I canceled our wedding that was scheduled for tomorrow because my fiancee's father passed away unexpectedly this morning. She got furious when I told her, because she still wanted to go through with it, and said that her dad would have wanted us to. Now she's not speaking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 161

You deserved it 693

Most Canadian story ever

By Anonymous - 03/08/2024 06:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I found out I will possibly not be able to take my RCM 10 because one song doesn’t qualify. I have worked towards it for 3 years. I then got harassed on the subway. Then I fell for the taxi cab scam by a 12 year-old out of stress and had to cancel my credit card. Oh, and I have a test at 9 a.m. tomorrow morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 344

You deserved it 183

Don't give in

By Concerned User - 25/02/2026 12:00

Today, no one in my circle of friends cares about Discord's privacy violations except me. I've explained it to all of them, but they're only worried about whether they personally have to send in ID verification, not about the fact that their user information will be collected and stored regardless! FML

I agree, your life sucks 203

You deserved it 278

I don't want to 'catch up'

By Anonymous - 27/02/2026 20:00

Today, my stalker from 16 years ago has apparently come back. Hello, police protection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 417

You deserved it 41

Valid concerns

By Gutted - 02/03/2026 00:00

Today, my boyfriend admitted he didn't want to marry me, not because he doesn't want to spend his life with me, but because he'd seen two friends get ruined by divorce settlements, and he "doesn't want my hooks in him." I love him with all my heart and would never dream of pulling a marriage con. FML

I agree, your life sucks 404

You deserved it 119

Roommate from Hell

By fishyrael - 08/08/2024 20:00 - United States - East Lansing

Today, my extremely affectionate and docile cat, whom I love like a child and has never drawn blood, scratched my roommate of one day in the face while I was at work. She claims he just went ballistic, and I don't believe she's telling me everything. What the hell did she do to my cat? It's gonna be a long lease. FML

I agree, your life sucks 459

You deserved it 142

Do your own research

By Anonymous - 04/03/2026 09:00

Today, after decades of 24/7 cognitive impairment and being made to feel like a hypochondriac by many doctors over the years, I learned I have a severe physical illness. I kept researching and discovered my own illness, found out which test to ask for, and finally showed doctors proof. FML

I agree, your life sucks 498

You deserved it 56

Horses for courses

By sean - 11/08/2024 12:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, my ex-girlfriend, who cheated on me a year ago, goes on vacations every month with a new guy, who she doesn’t mind hooking up with other girls, sometimes they even do it together. I work at a minimum wage job and when I was with her, she was one of the most possessive people I knew. FML

I agree, your life sucks 422

You deserved it 141

By distracted - 16/09/2012 07:00 - Canada - Victoria

Today, I went out for lunch with a guy I hadn't seen in a couple of months. He seemed to be staring at my chest quite a bit, but I wasn't too bothered by it. Turns out there was still an XL sticker on my shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 087

You deserved it 6 820

Attempted good deed

By Anonymous - 15/08/2024 06:00 - United States - Portland

Today, I saw a woman who I thought was pregnant on the bus. Trying to be nice, I offered her my seat and congratulated her. She wasn't pregnant, just holding a large bag of groceries. The entire bus heard me and the death glare she gave could’ve turned me to stone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 151

You deserved it 532

Be quiet

By type quiet - 11/03/2026 00:00

Today, I have a new coworker. Whenever he types something, he smacks the keyboard like its his wife's ass. It stresses me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 339

You deserved it 118

Jumping the gun

By thanksalotdickhead - 14/10/2020 08:01 - United States

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend was planning on proposing to me tomorrow. I found out after receiving a couple of a dozen texts from friends and relatives bitching me out for not telling them. Apparently, my dad thought it would be appropriate to make the announcement for me on his Facebook page. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 686

You deserved it 107

Kinda bizarre

By @SamAnderson - 17/08/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, my 17 year-old son has been using his phone on the toilet. Every time he poops, he takes his phone to the bathroom. Why does he need his phone to use the bathroom? He uses the toilet with his phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 97

You deserved it 602

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The Top

Today, I'm celebrating my birthday in Russia. While we were enjoying a sauna, one of the guests decided to add water in order to make steam. It wasn’t water, it was vodka. You can imagine the rest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 097

You deserved it 173

Today, it was hot out, so I wore shorts. My dad took one look at me and said, "Your thighs are so pale, it's like staring into the sun". FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 280

You deserved it 3 313

Today, my supervisor forced me to bring the image of a failed simulation to the group meeting, because he thought it looked funny. So did the others and it's now going on our webpage. I have to provide a scientific description of how I made a mistake in my code. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 763

You deserved it 2 810

Today, my boyfriend's dad said he'd given my boyfriend £100 to take me out for a meal last night and he hoped I'd enjoyed it. Last night my boyfriend and I went to Pizza Hut, shared a pizza and split the bill. Turns out my boyfriend had simply pocketed the money without telling anyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 350

You deserved it 4 046

Today, my crush and I were volunteering at a local farm. He confessed to me that I'm one of the most beautiful girls he's ever seen. Just as he leaned in to kiss me, I lost my footing and fell into a pile of horse shit. He just stood there, pointing and laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 178

You deserved it 3 717

Today, I spent $400 at the stripclub and got 4 phone numbers. I as walked out of the club, I noticed it was trans-night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 044

You deserved it 52 198