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The Blob

By Anonymous - 16/11/2020 17:02 - Germany

Today, I cracked an egg which turned out to have an extremely thin shell, so at first contact with the bowl, it came apart in my hand and the contents glooped right through my fingers, all the way down the kitchen cabinet, into a half-open drawer, as well as onto the floor and underneath the cabinet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 861

You deserved it 294

Paranoid

By dumb&dumped - 18/04/2023 00:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me after we played the "Which celebrity would you sleep with?” game. He decided that since all my answers were guys who looked nothing like him, that I must secretly find him unattractive. Oh and that I would cheat with any of those guys if given the opportunity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 873

You deserved it 247

Lemon

By MVHIGH - 16/04/2026 22:00 - United States - Oklahoma City

Today, I’ve realized I have paid $1700 on repairs for a vehicle that I’ve only have had for six months. I traded in my previous vehicle to avoid this problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 354

You deserved it 69

Just take the W

By Anon - 22/04/2023 03:00

Today, I want to share my weightloss success but I have no one to celebrate with. My husband says, "It's because you have so much to lose" and my friends all have too much going on to take notice. Celebrating in silence that I'm in the 150's. Healthy feels isolating and lonely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 920

You deserved it 161

My brain hates me

By This is a nightmare - 17/09/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, my anxiety decided to play a new trick: When I'm trying to go to sleep, I get anxious about having nightmares. It sure does wonders for my insomnia, which I've otherwise completely controlled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 403

You deserved it 103

Drip drip drip

By Anonymous - 19/04/2026 12:00 - United States

Today, I got a surprise when a drop of icy cold water hit the back of my neck. I wondered how this could be, as my dad had put in foam insulation on the pipes overhead in my room. It turns out there's one tiny spot that he couldn't insulate due to it being weirdly shaped and hard to reach, which is sweating now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 329

You deserved it 58

Bad timing

By Anonymous - 21/11/2020 05:01 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, someone screwed up the roller door at work, so I had to fix it. After doing so and leaving work late, I get home to find out my dog of 14 years had to be put down. If the door didn't need fixing, I would've been able to say goodbye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 377

You deserved it 72

Just a prank, bro

By Lucas - 11/02/2022 06:00

Today, our boss gave me and my team a final warning, because of a prank that one of my workmates played on him. It isn't the first time shit happens. The boss won't let us dispute it, either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 770

You deserved it 227

Exploitation

By Anonymous - 28/04/2023 03:00

Today, if I'd known a few days ago when I agreed to help a friend film that it was going to be located so far away and cost so much to get there, I would have said no straight away. I won't even be reimbursed for my efforts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 519

You deserved it 225

That was fun

By Anonymous - 23/04/2026 22:00 - United States - Miami

Today, I was babysitting and told the kid we’d make pancakes from scratch. I mixed everything, poured the batter, and waited. They never set. I'd forgot to add flour. The kid looked at the pan, then at me, and said, “Is this soup?” I ordered pizza and tried to spin it as a “fun cooking experiment.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 102

You deserved it 342

Symptomatic

By Anonymous - 27/02/2022 13:59 - Germany

Today, I discovered that a high enough stress level can cause the same symptoms as the flu. So whenever things are quite awful at work, I get the added bonus of feeling like I’m coming down with something really nasty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 856

You deserved it 102

People just suck

By What's it to you anyway? - 23/09/2024 16:00 - United States

Today, I, a 20-year-old man, was ridiculed and called "Granny" for having a coin purse. Said coin purse actually belonged to my late grandma, and she gifted it to me last year when she realized she was going to die soon. She really meant well and I appreciate it, but I wasn't ready for judgmental strangers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 593

You deserved it 119

This is our special place

By Anonymous - 27/04/2026 03:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I just moved to a new house so I was looking for new jogging routes. I ended up in an area I was unaware was a big dogging hotspot. Two couples invited me to threesomes, and when I said no and tried to leave, I had stones and litter thrown at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 357

You deserved it 93

Kinda sus, huh?

By Derek - 25/09/2024 09:00 - United States - Fallbrook

Today, my best friend told me, "Dude, your girlfriend looks so much like this girl I went to high school with!" and showed me a picture of a girl with a string bikini in a semi-suggestive pose on the beach. I know what you're thinking, but it wasn't my girlfriend. He HAD to choose the skimpiest photo to compare to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 336

You deserved it 149

Stumped

By Possibly a robot - 27/09/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, I failed a CAPTCHA seven times before completing it. They didn't lie when they said they are making them harder. I don't think I'm a robot, but maybe I should get tested. FML

I agree, your life sucks 330

You deserved it 130

Naps are important

By bigdikbubls - 01/12/2020 10:58 - Barbados - Bridgetown

Today, I realised just how badly I procrastinate because I wanted to take a nap before going out for a friend's birthday, but I kept putting it off until I simply didn't have the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 367

You deserved it 757

Kids love repetition

By not the stuffies - 29/09/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, for the third day in a row, I was taking care of my girlfriend's kid. I love him, but if I have to play one more game of "Stuffy Hide and Seek", I'm going to rip my hair out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 349

You deserved it 170

Flop

By Flop era - 04/10/2024 00:00 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, I thought I'd impress my friends with a backflip into the pool. I ended up smacking my back on the edge of the diving board and belly-flopping into the water. Now I have a bruise and a story that everyone is intent on retelling. I'm just glad no one was filming me. I hope. FML

I agree, your life sucks 105

You deserved it 523

Priorities

By He's being pretty goofy - 08/05/2023 18:00 - United States

Today, my overthinking and ADHD combo got so ridiculous that I found myself worrying about how my cat was going to be after he returned from the vet. Not if he was going to be okay or not, how he was going to behave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 324

You deserved it 475

Shady dealings

By Anonymous - 09/05/2026 12:00 - United States - Queens

Today, I found out that my husband booked one-way tickets for our family to another country, without any return flights or even a place to stay, or money to navigate anything. We're living with my income, and I’m not sure if I want a divorce or a protective order against him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 393

You deserved it 73

Nervous Nelly

By Anonymous - 12/05/2023 06:00 - United States

Today, I went to the dentist for a routine cleaning. As the dentist was working on my teeth, he accidentally sprayed water all over my face. I couldn't stop laughing nervously, which made the dentist think I was choking. He ended up calling for backup and I had to explain that I was just laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 732

You deserved it 154

Can it, Whitney!

By Anonymous - 10/10/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, I discovered that my neighbors had held a secret "meeting" to discuss how annoying my "constant singing" as I go about my days in my apartment. They even made a petition, with over ten signatures, asking me to "cease and desist." FML

I agree, your life sucks 159

You deserved it 539

Despair

By TeachingSucks - 17/05/2023 18:00 - United States - Cabot

Today, I'm grading final projects for a junior level college class. A student finally turned in their work, after months of encouragement and coaxing. Half of it was plain wrong, the rest had so many spelling and grammatical mistakes, it appeared to be written by a drunk autocorrect program. FML

I agree, your life sucks 727

You deserved it 123

Big data is coming for us all

By Anonymous - 12/10/2024 00:00 - United States - Oklahoma City

Today, I was reminded once again how isolated I am while processing data errors. I work with sealed records, and I can't ask anyone for help, or share a laugh at any of the ridiculous names I see. Sigh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 355

You deserved it 110

How dare you?

By Needgasmoney - 16/05/2026 12:00 - United States

Today, I got fired for “insubordination.” All I did was ask how my compensation would be adjusted due to my coworker quitting and having to do her job until her position is filled. I live in Florida, which is an “at will” employment state. FML

I agree, your life sucks 440

You deserved it 90

Cut off

By Anonymous - 19/05/2026 12:00 - United States - Irving

Today, my former sister-in-law, who I was once so close to, said that we can't be friends or anything like that anymore because now that she's divorced from my cheating asshole brother, it's too painful for her to be around our family, even for the sake of my kids. I hate him so much. FML

I agree, your life sucks 450

You deserved it 58

Crusty

By kayla - 20/05/2026 22:00 - United States - Denver

Today, I was told to “use Chapstick, for God’s sake” for the hundredth time in my life. I have tried Chapstick, Aquaphor, Burt's Bees, Vaseline, Shea butter, coconut oil, and Bag Balm. I drink 8 glasses of water a day. I’ve been to doctor after doctor, and nothing will fix my crusty, dry lips. FML

I agree, your life sucks 362

You deserved it 73

AI is coming for us all

By Frieda - 23/05/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of three months decided to break it off with me, all because I used ChatGPT to research something. FML

I agree, your life sucks 191

You deserved it 390

OK, it's spooky season, but come on…

By Anonymous - 19/10/2024 16:00

Today, back when my son had an imaginary friend at 3 years-old it was cute; when he was 7 it was concerning; now he’s 15, still talks to him, and is refusing to see a therapist, even though I’m genuinely scared, it’s a thin line between imaginary friends and hearing voices in your head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 466

You deserved it 119

Totally unaware

By Anonymous - 25/05/2026 00:00 - United States - Austin

Today, at a family cook out, someone asked whether phones should be allowed at the dinner table. I confidently said that people who can’t go one meal without checking notifications probably have an addiction. My cousin quietly pointed out I’d checked my own phone three times while saying that sentence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60

You deserved it 627

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The Top

Today, I fell off my boyfriend's motorcycle. I had a few scrapes and bruises, and my boyfriend called for an ambulance as a precaution. The paramedics managed to drop me on my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 777

You deserved it 2 197

Today, I was walking across a pedestrian crossing and waved at the driver of the car who'd stopped, just to say thank you. She stuck her middle finger up at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 604

You deserved it 2 901

Today, in my psychology class, we were given a sheet that had a list of stressful events and we were to select the ones we had experienced in the last 12 months. I got highest in my class of above an 80% chance of getting a life threatening illness due to stress. Everyone laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 451

You deserved it 3 229

Today, I learned that my boyfriend waits 'til I am asleep to wack off to porn on the internet. We haven't had sex in months because he doesn't want to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 144

You deserved it 3 884

Today, after having my Apple Watch for a year, it asked me something it has never asked me before. As I began my hike around a lake, 10 minutes in, it asked if I was starting to workout. I hit yes, and it then congratulated me on my very first workout. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 635

You deserved it 752

Today, the kids in my 6 year-old daughter’s class were asked what they feared the most. My daughter’s worst fear is apparently not werewolves, sharks, monsters or clowns. Nope, it’s "Eating food I don’t like." FML

I agree, your life sucks 736

You deserved it 226