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OP here! My brother legitimately believed that having acne is the same thing as having cancer, but after a good talk with him about the difference between a normal teenage phenomenon and a life-threatening disease, I think he's straightened out his vocabulary terms. Oh, the bliss of being baby-faced and blemish-free! I told him he was lucky that he wouldn't have to worry about any skin problems for several years.

By facingit - 08/11/2010 10:32 - Australia

Today, I was told that I look like a cross between Roger Federer and Neil Patrick Harris. Apparently I have a big forehead and a squished face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 830

You deserved it 3 311

Let em in

By Kerrilyn - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was waiting in the car while my mom went into a store to get beer. A few minutes later, some guy was knocking on my window, telling me to open the door. I started cursing him out, thinking I was getting attacked. Turns out he worked there and was putting the beer in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 174

You deserved it 55 374

Skinny love

By maryann - 13/01/2021 08:01

Today, despite begging my parents to get food other than diet and weight loss stuff, they refused. I'm bullied for being skinny on a daily basis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 984

You deserved it 245

Thanks for sharing

By why ma? - 22/04/2022 00:01 - United States

Today, my mom went through my drawers and found some antibiotics from Planned Parenthood. She immediately flew into a rage and told my whole family, my aunts, and her church that I was a “loose woman with a horrible disease.” The antibiotics were to treat bacterial vaginosis, not an STD at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 181

You deserved it 143

An accident?

By Clayton - 12/11/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, I lost yet another girlfriend because my ex tells every girl I go out with that I cheated on her. She DMs them screenshots of what I did. I know I’m no saint, but all that was 6 months ago, and it was an accident. I can’t change the past, but I can be sorry for what I did. I just can’t win in this situation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 127

You deserved it 1 278

By ihatecats - 01/12/2009 07:05 - United States

Today, I heard my cat climbing on the counters in the kitchen. To prevent a tremendous avalanche of dishes, I picked up the cat and put it outside. She got scared from the blinds and scurried away leaving deep scratches across my nipple. I wasn't wearing a shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 194

You deserved it 16 619

DMV blues

By HellisLikeTheDMV - 13/07/2012 15:19 - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, I finally went to the DMV to replace my lost license. After waiting for almost two hours, I casually rummaged through my purse. Something strange inside the lining caught my eye. It was my license. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 701

You deserved it 27 317

Maternity leave

By Anonymous - 24/03/2022 04:00

Today, we were so desperate to be parents, we've had IVF twice until our son was born. I was not ready for just how much I would hate him. I physically detest my son. I didn’t want to hold him when he was born, he makes my skin crawl when I breastfeed and I barely look at him. Messed up, right? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 253

You deserved it 650

NHS for all

By Toothache - 19/06/2023 00:02

Today, during a routine visit to the dentist, she advised me to get root canal treatment done, to avoid any future pain. As we are traveling abroad where we won't have insurance, my husband is forcing me to get RCT within four days. I'm in so so much pain, life is hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 662

You deserved it 157

Damned if you do…

By Anonymous - 25/03/2022 10:00

Today, I woke up early to do the dishes and clean up, after having people over yesterday. Now my wife is mad at me because I didn't stay in bed with her longer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 962

You deserved it 112

You know, what's his face?

By Randy - 19/11/2024 16:00 - United States

Today, I was talking with a coworker about movie actors. I was trying to remember Forest Whitaker’s name and I blurted out, “the droopy-eyed King of Scotland.” Boy, did I get some looks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 178

You deserved it 289

Latergram

By Anonymous - 21/06/2023 10:00

Today, I made it halfway through saying "Happy Father's Day" before he interrupted to send me to do an unimportant chore. When I finished, he’d opened the beer I'd bought him, despite it being 7:30am, but he was convinced it was a bribe because I wanted something from him. I don’t know why I bother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 851

You deserved it 111

Fur babies

By Anonymous - 12/04/2022 18:00

Today, my boyfriend of 7 years told me he isn’t sure if he wants to marry me, despite us talking for years about it. He’s worried about what will happen to our cats if we were to ever get divorced. FML

I agree, your life sucks 951

You deserved it 178

Technology hate humans

By Helpppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp - 25/06/2023 15:00 - United States

Today, I have a keyboard that randomly jams. If it happens while I'm typing, it will spam said letter for an extended period of time, and nothing I can do makes it stop. It can happen to any key, even the spacebar. It also happens often enough that it goes from mildly convenient to really fucking annoying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 488

You deserved it 329

Quiet night in

By 2 time momma - 23/01/2021 22:58 - United Kingdom - Leeds

Today, as a stressed NHS nurse, I tried to take a relaxing bath, except I dropped my book in the water, my candle set my hair on fire, I slipped getting out and may have broken my finger. The noise woke up my two kids, so I had to start their bedtime routine over again, and I got bath salt crystals in my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 392

You deserved it 229

Not that into you

By Anonymous - 27/06/2023 12:00

Today, my girlfriend won’t give me oral because she doesn't like pubes, so I trimmed them; she refused again because they felt prickly, so I waxed them. Now she says I look like a little boy. If she doesn’t want to suck cock, why won’t she just say so instead of hinting she might if I shaved? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 366

You deserved it 421

Classic

By scotchfaster - 26/11/2024 03:00 - United States

Today, I started seeing a new therapist and told him everything that was going on in my life. He asked me if I was suicidal; I said no. He paused and asked me, "Why not?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 523

You deserved it 105

Blood drive

By Queasy Dave - 03/07/2026 09:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I tried donating blood for the first time because my company was hosting a blood drive. Right after telling everyone I wasn't afraid of needles, I fainted before they could even use one. I woke up surrounded by phlebotomists offering me juice while my coworkers whooped like I'd just scored a goal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 179

You deserved it 264

I'm an asshole

By Harj - 27/11/2024 22:00 - United Kingdom - Edgware

Today, after filling fuel in my car, I drove off. The guy behind me left almost at the time. He was behind me, beeping his horn and flashing his lights. I pulled up alongside him at the lights and rolled down the window to ask him what the fuck his problem was. He promptly proceeded to tell me that my fuel cap was still open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 88

You deserved it 727

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The Top

Today, my dad has discovered selfies and my mom has discovered taking pictures of food. Now I'm at a restaurant, suffering through it all and not being able to eat anything until my mom has taken pictures of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 156

You deserved it 2 630

Today, my boyfriend came over to cheer me up after I'd had a sleepless night. He thought it would be a good time to propose. Unfortunately, it coincided with me yawning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 066

You deserved it 5 144

Today, on the train, a cute girl gave me her number. After maybe half an hour, she went to her seat and I went to the toilet for a quick but loud and painful dump. I opened the door and saw her outside getting bitch-slapped by the smell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 597

You deserved it 9 967

Today, I wore crotchless panties to bed and my boyfriend didn't notice. It's been 10 months since we've had sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 117

You deserved it 409

Today, I had managed to avoid any mention of who won Big Brother because I couldn't watch it live, and I had planned to watch it on replay tonight. All was going to plan until my arsehole brother sent me a text that simply said, "Spoiler alert: Ali won." FML

I agree, your life sucks 345

You deserved it 212

Today, out of desperation, I had to fight my social anxiety in order ask a stranger for directions in a new city. She gave me a detailed answer, and I thanked her, then walked the wrong way for 15 minutes because I was too embarrassed to admit I’d understood none of it past the first sentence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 127

You deserved it 325