The Top

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By car_FAILure - 23/02/2010 05:17 - New Zealand

Today, I went to Uni. I woke up at six and got to the station as the train was leaving. I was congratulating myself on my brilliant skill when, as we passed the carpark, I saw I had left my headlights on. It later cost more for the lead to jump start my car than it would have to drive to Uni myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 647

You deserved it 6 955

By OMFG - 22/02/2010 10:13 - Australia

Today, I witnessed my roommate pop a blister with a skewer and casually place it back in the kitchen drawer, before wiping what seeped out with the teatowel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 930

You deserved it 2 090

Yummy

By Anonymous - 08/09/2021 23:01 - Germany - Dresden

Today, after thinking only dogs needed chew-toys, I learned my lesson after my kittens ate my menstrual cup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 771

You deserved it 371

By Distraught - 01/03/2011 21:08 - Reserved

Today, the day before I was going to move in with my army fiancé, he was told he would be deployed very soon. I can't pay for the apartment without him, and now have to move back in with my parents until he returns from active duty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 099

You deserved it 6 669

Breaking Badly

By Anonymous - 31/05/2020 20:00

Today, it was my first day as a pharm tech. Two hours into my shift, I came down with awful food poisoning, causing me to go to the restroom multiple times before eventually leaving. I'd filled multiple controlled substances today and can't help but think my coworkers are thinking I'm a drug addict. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 589

You deserved it 146

Overreaction?

By Anonymous - 20/10/2025 00:00

Today, I’m divorcing my wife because she puts her dog above our children. The final straw came when she jumped from a moving golf cart with our daughter in her arms when her stupid ass dog jumped out. Our child could’ve died but all she cared about was the damn dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 484

You deserved it 106

Thanks for nothing

By Guess I'll Die - 13/04/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I tried to confront my parents with the fact that they're almost certainly going to outlive me unless I radically change my lifestyle, and that I needed their assistance to help me stay on track. I only realized after my impassioned speech that they were ignoring me the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 460

Disclaimer

By Issac Almendarez - 02/12/2022 04:00

Today, my family and I took a trip to Mexico, along with my girlfriend. I bought some Viagra, just to experiment as I don't need it. My mom had me carrying around her cigarettes all day. When she asked for them, I accidentally handed her the box of Viagra and she freaked out on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 256

You deserved it 1 564

By Scorned Employee - 02/01/2012 03:38 - United States

Today, it finally became clear to me that before you start dating a co-worker, it's best to figure out who they've already dated from work, just in case one of her exes is your new manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 065

You deserved it 7 642

By hopeless - 26/02/2011 06:49 - United States

Today, I cheated on my math exam. I still failed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 019

You deserved it 74 424

This whole marriage is a scam

By Anonymous - 17/04/2024 12:00

Today, we discovered that our wedding licence from 7 years ago is a complete fake. I don’t get it: we were married in a church by a priest, we got all our paperwork filed with the city council, but our certificate is apparently a fake someone made on a computer, and they got the date wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 519

You deserved it 99

Spooky

By Lizzielollipop816 - 18/02/2010 06:38 - United States

Today, I was at McDonald's. I bumped into a guy, and as I was helping him pick up his food, I realized he was cute. I began smiling and I was about to introduce myself, when he began laughing and said, "It's you! I've heard about you!" He left laughing. I still don't know who he is, or what made him laugh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 324

You deserved it 3 670

By screwed - 24/01/2009 18:56 - Chile

Today, I crapped in my pants and had to wait an hour of commuting till I could clean it up. What a sight and smell it was on the subway. Thank God I had sunglasses to wear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 838

You deserved it 29 798

God ain't paying my bills

By Anonymous - 03/12/2022 18:00

Today, at my catering job, a woman left me a fake £10 note as a tip, which was actually one of those stupid invitations to attend her church, since "God is more valuable than cash." I have two kids and a wealthy ex refusing to pay support, so I’d have preferred no tip at all instead of this bullshit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 078

You deserved it 166

Storage wars

By ADayAtATime - 19/04/2024 22:00 - Australia - Wacol

Today, I brought my daughter to work with me. When we walked in, a client was blowing up at my boss, all because as my boss was walking past his storage unit, he glanced in and was about to compliment how neat it was. After my boss left, I had to deal with the aftermath, which left my daughter terrified of this man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 408

You deserved it 120

By sadgirl - 23/01/2009 16:52 - United States

Today, I was doing a striptease for this guy over my webcam. I was shaking my ass while taking off my panties, but when they fell to my feet, I tripped over them and fell on my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 930

You deserved it 56 305

By moronicmoroccan - 22/01/2009 23:26 - Philippines

Today, my boss replied-to-all to a memo I sent, wherein he states that "Filipino" should be spelled with a double P. He spells his nationality with a double R. He's from Morocco. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 549

You deserved it 2 571

Bullshit reason

By Anonymous - 14/06/2020 23:02

Today, my husband wants a divorce. His reason, so he claims, is that he went to see a card reader a few months ago and she told him our relationship would not last. Apparently, our astrological signs or something are not compatible, so he thinks we shouldn't waste our time. We've been married for 8 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 958

You deserved it 192

Late stage capitalism

By Anonymous - 11/12/2022 15:00

Today, I got laid off. I spent the last two months planning a conference for my company. They fired me the day before the conference. I skipped my ex-boyfriend's funeral to be at the first day of this job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 148

You deserved it 218

Thanks Taylor

By Anonymous - 24/04/2024 20:00 - United States - Westhampton Beach

Today, I listened to Taylor Swift’s new album. I’m a life long Swiftie. I also had a baby last year. Her name is Aimee. One of the lyrics in Taylor’s new song is “F**ck you, Aimee.” Now I can’t listen to this album with my daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 178

You deserved it 548

Long time coming

By I'm the boss, not you - 26/04/2024 16:00 - United States

Today, after weeks of stealing lunch from one of my employees, he made a sandwich with canned cat food, soap, and something unimaginably spicy that caused me to spew all over my office and laptop. I fired him. Now everyone is treating me like a monster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63

You deserved it 2 585

By Anonymous - 23/12/2011 21:02 - United States

Today, my family and I went over to our new neighbors' house, to sing a carol and say hello. The only response we got was a door slammed in our faces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 496

You deserved it 32 058

By Anonymous - 14/02/2010 14:21 - United States

Today, I realized that the "pimples" on my back weren't pimples at all. Because I was unable to see how bad they were for the last week, I never caught on to the fact the they were, in fact, ticks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 274

You deserved it 6 781

Countdown

By Anonymous - 30/04/2024 22:00 - United Kingdom - Normanton

Today, my wife was screaming at our son over his maths homework, so I poked my nose in to help calm them down. My wife was not happy when I pointed out that most of her calculations and answers were wrong, whereas our son got most of his right. I’m now in the doghouse because my wife can’t count. FML

I agree, your life sucks 694

You deserved it 107

My smol bean baby

By Heather05 - 11/11/2025 15:00

Today, my neighbor knocked on my door and politely asked if I could keep my “crying baby” quiet at night. I live alone. I don’t even have a baby. I have a cat. A very dramatic, needy, attention-hungry cat who yelps when I close any door or leave her eyesight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 341

You deserved it 141

By oheyimsarahh - 16/02/2011 15:30 - United States

Today, I was sitting in social studies and someone threw a note at me. It said "Go fuck yourself, everyone hates you, just die." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 689

You deserved it 5 305

Nervous

By Anonymous - 14/11/2025 09:00

Today, I met a blind date from a dating app. He looked nothing like his pictures, but I tried to be polite. I said, “Wow, you look different in person!” He smiled and said, “That’s not me. He’s probably just running late, and I’m just sitting here.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 322

You deserved it 150

Classic

By Hover Hand - 21/11/2012 02:37 - United States - Merchantville

Today, someone posted photos from a party I was at. On each photo I'm posing in with a girl, my hand is not touching her, but is hovering over her like some creepy weirdo loser. My Facebook nickname is now of course "Hover Hand." FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 165

You deserved it 23 016

Taking advantage

By Stigmamma - 28/06/2020 05:06

Today, after 3 months of my man claiming he's going to start eating better "next week", he finally went on a diet. What changed? I started eating healthy while trying for a baby. He is "supporting me" by getting me to do extra meal prep for him too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 373

You deserved it 364

Landlords need love too

By Anonymous - 19/09/2021 02:00 - United States - Steele

Today, I started my weekend right… outside my grandmother's house, trying to repair her yard. The senile landlord came by and trashed it. This isn't the first time. He's pushing 90 years-old, so it's hard to tell if he has dementia or if he's doing it on purpose. All I want to know is, why hasn't he retired? FML

I agree, your life sucks 933

You deserved it 63

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The Top

Today, thanks to my phone's shitty predictive text combined with me being half-asleep, I accidentally offered my heartbroken buddy "oral support" if he ever needs it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 091

You deserved it 10 232

Today, my husband ran a nice warm bubble bath with extra bubbles. I undressed and slid down into the tub only to have the most ungodly pain go up my backside. Turns out he knocked his razor into the water when he added the bubbles. I now have two butt cracks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 592

You deserved it 2 020

Today, the father of my unborn child told me he isn't sure he'll be able to make it to the birth, since there's no guarantee of when it will happen, so he can't schedule time off. This would be understandable if he actually had a job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 027

You deserved it 6 320

Today, I was reading one of the numerous Thomas the Tank Engine books to my 3-year-old, train obsessed, nanny kid. They needed tinder to relight Thomas's firebox. I laughed when reading this and told him, "I have Tinder too!" He's convinced I'm a train. FML

I agree, your life sucks 552

You deserved it 1 767

Today, I serve at church and had a funeral. As I greeted the family, someone asked how I was doing. Without thought, I responded, "Good to be alive." FML

I agree, your life sucks 426

You deserved it 819

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. My boss called me into her office and congratulated me, and spent almost half an hour asking me what our wedding plans were, where we might honeymoon, if we wanted kids, etc. She then followed this by suddenly remembering she had called me into the office to sack me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 287

You deserved it 88