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Tit for tat

By Anonymous - 18/03/2026 20:00

Today, my my soon to be ex-wife found out I was telling the truth and never cheated. She wanted to get back together but I told her that we're too far into the divorce proceedings to turn back, and there's just no fixing our marriage. She then told me she's filing for full custody with no visitation rights. FML

I agree, your life sucks 552

You deserved it 68

The Final Countdown

By Anonymous - 22/10/2020 20:08 - Israel - Tel Aviv

Today, I found out that I have three weeks to get better at my shitty job before we start discussing my "future" with the company. FML

I agree, your life sucks 907

You deserved it 368

Building Fail

By FML Videos - 20/11/2018 00:30

I'm just gonna walk away now...

I agree, your life sucks 268

You deserved it 108

One hell of a poker game?

By Anonymous - 23/10/2020 17:02

Today, I lost 1200 dollars, my fiancée, my dog, my apartment, and my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 233

You deserved it 326

No pain, no gain

By Anonymous - 29/03/2023 04:00 - Canada

Today, I went to the dentist to get a cavity filled. The numbing medication didn't work, so I felt everything. I was in so much pain that I accidentally bit down on the dentist's finger, causing him to yell in agony. Now, I have to find a new dentist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 804

You deserved it 166

Confused

By ohhhemmgee - 06/09/2012 06:39 - United States - Reno

Today, I locked myself out of the house I was house-sitting. An hour later, and my fifth attempt at climbing the fence, I figured I'd try the door one more time. Turns out I was turning the handle the wrong way and the door wasn't locked in the first place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 770

You deserved it 29 467

By brutality - 15/06/2009 05:38 - Canada

Today, I saw a few old co-workers at the bar. They recognized me and started calling me by the nickname they had for me that I was unaware of. It appears I was known as "butch megan" by the entire office for 2 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 979

You deserved it 4 131

Bit on the side

By Anonymous - 02/04/2023 02:00 - United States - Portland

Today my boyfriend left his camera with me. I wanted to see the recent photos we took at the park next to my house. I scrolled through and found pictures of him and his ex-girlfriend the weekend before at the same park, posing under the same tree we had taken a photo. We've been together for a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 081

You deserved it 136

In the mood

By Anonymous - 27/08/2024 14:00 - Canada - Richmond Hill

Today, it's been awhile since I've had decent sex. I was "in the mood" after being sick for two weeks, so I pulled out my little "bedroom friend." Right on the verge of a really big O, I spotted a giant spider about 3 ft over my head, which completely killed my lady boner. Is there a female equivalent of blue balls? FML

I agree, your life sucks 461

You deserved it 217

Stylist

By Joh - 26/03/2026 03:00

Today, I got home, stripped down to my underwear, and laid on the couch. The cat came up, then started meowing loudly at me and bit my sides and legs until I put on sweats and a t-shirt. I now have a cat-enforced dress code. FML

I agree, your life sucks 320

You deserved it 170

Chill out, Kathy

By nearly a crazy lady - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, my OCD manager sprayed my hands with chemicals because I'd touched the bin while throwing away a piece of paper. My hands are now covered in itchy, unattractive rashes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 905

You deserved it 3 354

By Anonymous - 14/12/2010 04:13 - United States

Today, at my new job, I took some food out to a customer. Walking away, I heard a lady mumble, "Oh my God, you could never pay me enough to wear that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 585

You deserved it 3 540

By LordAdam - 14/06/2009 13:16 - Australia

Today, I accidentally left my concession card in the photocopier. I then got fined for not having a concession card on the train. I was photocopying it for a letter to get out of a fine for not having a concession card. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 104

You deserved it 42 283

Waze?

By lol - 28/10/2020 09:57

Today, while working as an Uber driver, I asked my passenger for directions and she didn’t know. She was going to her own house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 912

You deserved it 657

Peace and quiet

By Anonymous - 06/04/2023 18:00

Today, after a long and stressful week, all I wanted was some time to myself with a few beers and a good video game. My girlfriend apparently disliked this, because she started blasting Cardi B, ran the vacuum behind me, and poured my beer down the sink when I used the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 989

You deserved it 231

By Anonymous - 09/10/2011 00:24 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 6 months started a bitter fight with me. The cause was me repeatedly refusing to dye my hair the way his beloved ex did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 593

You deserved it 3 659

Poked

By Facebook - 13/06/2009 16:11 - United States

Today, I logged into Facebook for the first time in a month. I had only 3 new notifications, that were to tell me that the poker application I used on there "missed me" and wanted to give me 10,000 free chips. My poker app talks to me more than my friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 664

You deserved it 6 645

Parental control

By Anonymous - 30/03/2026 09:00

Today, I learned that CPS still won't take my sister's kids away from her, even though they are living in literal squalor and filth. They run away to my house all the time and I constantly have to give them back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 433

You deserved it 68

By KittyNeko - 28/12/2009 06:26 - United States

Today, I allowed my friend to talk me into going on a date. The guy's truck smelled like formaldehyde - I'm assuming from the snake that he apparently tried to turn into a necklace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 097

You deserved it 3 199

Too awkward for love

By Anonymous - 31/01/2022 11:00 - Germany - Norden

Today, I realized I probably have more chances of finding intimacy and companionship working as an escort than by online dating, because if I get paid to spend time with someone, I’ll decide to just go with it and enjoy myself, but on an actual date I will most likely second-guess and self-sabotage all the way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 936

You deserved it 421

Mind your own business

By Brian - 12/04/2023 12:00

Today, I got into a heated argument with my big sister, all because she doesn't like me having a girlfriend. She said that I either lose her or my girlfriend, and I chose to lose her. She blocked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 882

You deserved it 184

Choose your fighter

By Anonymous - 06/09/2024 00:00 - United Kingdom

Today, during the night, we thought we had an intruder, but it was my girlfriend who grabbed a hammer and went downstairs to check. After it turned out to be the damn cat, I asked her why she made me stay upstairs. Apparently because she’s seen me fight in the past, she felt much safer doing it herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 147

You deserved it 516

Wasted

By Anonymous - 05/08/2013 15:33 - United States

Today, my parents held a big family dinner at our house. Being the only underage person there, I had to sit there while everyone got progressively drunker and started commenting on how eerily similar I look to Shamu the whale. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 976

You deserved it 4 774

Insular

By Anonymous - 16/02/2022 02:00 - United States

Today, I spent many hours applying for many scholarships. When the sites asked for my e-mail, to let me know if I'd won, I gave them my school e-mail, one that I often check. I then come to find out the school doesn't let e-mails from outside the school system be sent or received. Lost thousands of dollars as far as I know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 612

You deserved it 882

By Albert - 27/08/2012 22:16 - United States - Dover

Today, I went to see my orthodontist. He informed me that I have an underbite and I will probably need braces again. I just had them taken off last year, after five and a half years of oral hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 544

You deserved it 2 086

By Anonymous - 26/12/2009 03:13 - United States

Today, my father went out to get batteries for the remote control helicopter I bought him for Christmas. In his excitement, he backed his truck into my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 135

You deserved it 2 930

Monday blues

By Anonymous - 09/11/2020 11:02

Today, I asked my boss if I could take a vacation day for my birthday on Monday. She called to tell me yes, and then told me I'm getting laid off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 108

You deserved it 89

By Anonymous - 07/12/2010 10:35 - Norway

Today, I got a phone call from a friend, who lives in the same neighbourhood as me, wondering if it was my father she saw walking a dog by her house, wearing only his boxers. It was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 945

You deserved it 2 392

Goodbye

By dogs_and_toucans - 08/06/2009 18:47 - United States

Today, my girlfriend of 10 months moved to Europe and we may never see each other again, so I gave her a $200 sterling silver heart necklace as a goodbye present. She gave me a pack of gum. Cinnamon, which I'm allergic to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 744

You deserved it 6 817

Policy of truth

By Home Alone 33 - 24/02/2022 14:00

Today, after two months of being apart from my wife of five years, who'd returned to Panama to deal with a family issue, she innocently slips into conversation that she’s been hanging out with her high school boyfriend. When challenged, she responded, “You get to see me all the time!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 941

You deserved it 114

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The Top

Today, as I was using the public restroom in the mall, someone decided to slam the stall door next to mine. This resulted in my stall door opening while I was still on the toilet. The door was too far for me to reach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 001

You deserved it 4 735

Today, while practicing a song in choir, I got a boner. Trying to cover it up, I tried sitting down. My choir teacher got mad and made me stand in front of the whole class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 465

You deserved it 10 123

Today, at the Eurostar customs, an officer asked me if I had packed my luggage myself. I teasingly answered "No, I was helped by a member of Al Qaeda." which earned me a body and luggage search and a missed train. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 385

You deserved it 68 493

Today, I was walking around my block when a random stranger pulled up next to me. He assumed I was a woman, and started catcalling me. I'm a 34-year-old man with a wife and kids, and my hair isn't even long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 006

You deserved it 252

Today, I was at a family gathering when my aunt asked me if I was seeing anyone special. In a tired and sarcastic tone, I jokingly said, “I’m actually getting married next month!” The room went silent, then some of them cheered. I had to explain I was kidding, but now they’re looking forward to a wedding I didn’t agree to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 147

You deserved it 552

Today, I’m so embarrassed I can barely believe it: I was out on a date and he asked the waitress to bring a pitcher of water and extra sugar packets. He took two Kool-Aid packets from his pocket and mixed it up right there at the table, proudly stating he didn’t need to pay for drinks now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 435

You deserved it 96