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Noise pollution

By SHUT UP - 28/09/2022 04:00

Today, I turned on the air conditioner in my room, even though it's absolutely freezing in there. Why? To drown about my mom and brother talking. My mom swears that they aren't arguing, but they're so damn loud that it doesn't even matter. They know I'm autistic and that I have hyperacusis. However, they don't care. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 084

You deserved it 262

Old fashioned

By Anonymous - 02/02/2024 20:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was telling my mom my boyfriend started an argument because I’ve not been feeling well, so I haven’t cooked or wanted sex for a week or so. My dad piped up that if mom used such a lame excuse to avoid blowjobs and cooking, he’d damn we’ll start an argument too. Mom agreed with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 599

You deserved it 379

Masterful gambit

By spiderwoman - 15/04/2011 11:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I saw a spider crawling across a poster in my bedroom, so I smacked the spot below it to scare the spider into climbing back up the wall. Instead, because the poster wasn't completely flat to the wall, I catapulted the spider straight into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 313

You deserved it 32 225

Worst customers, part 37764

By FthisJob - 03/10/2022 21:00

Today, I had to explain to a customer that I couldn't give her a cash refund on a card transaction. She bought the item, and within 5 minutes returned it, demanding a refund. It takes 2 business days for the refund to process. She saw fit to throw an epic tantrum, and I was written up for “upsetting the customer.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 192

You deserved it 107

By jam - 11/02/2012 07:03 - Australia

Today, I received a parking fine for $147. My car isn't even worth that much. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 625

You deserved it 7 750

Industrial logs

By wow - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I took a massive dump at work and clogged the industrial toilet. Since I used the unisex one at the end of the hall, I watched my super hot coworker walk in after me. And then she ran out immediately. Everyone had seen me walk out before her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 701

You deserved it 37 334

My body hates me

By Anonymous - 07/02/2024 12:00 - Germany - Buchholz in der Nordheide

Today, some things that are hard for many people are easy for me, like learning languages, being thrifty, and organizing my life efficiently. On the other hand, some things that are easy for most people are near impossible for me, like feeling well-rested after 8 hours of sleep. Or converting food into energy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 459

You deserved it 165

By pauper - 09/02/2012 01:20

Today, I came home to a homeless man sleeping in my living room. It turns out he thought my house was abandoned due to its disheveled appearance, and decided to break in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 307

You deserved it 8 786

By zac545 - 19/02/2009 06:14 - United States

Today, I was looking after a hamster for a friend. My dog ate it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 972

You deserved it 11 251

Overreaching

By Entitled parents suck. - 12/10/2022 10:00

Today, my mother threatened to disown me if I didn't break up with my tattooed girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 939

You deserved it 150

The walk of shame to the gym locker

By Sahil lilaramani - 15/10/2022 12:00

Today, I was doing squats in the gym. During a set, when I squatted deep down, some poop came the fuck out, like a rocket. It was so embarrassing, and luckily there were fewer people in the gym than usual. FML

I agree, your life sucks 825

You deserved it 188

By Can'tAgeOrMakeFriends - 12/01/2013 01:11 - United States

Today, I was yet again asked to show my hall pass. I'm 23 and work at a middle school. I've worked here for the last five months, so not only do I look 13 years old, I'm also not memorable enough for my own coworkers to recognize me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 215

You deserved it 3 211

Freak out

By Dough - 20/08/2025 00:00 - Poland - Warsaw

Today, I decided to bake chocolate wafers. I rolled the dark brown dough into a log, when my senile grandmother walked in. She saw it and started screaming that I was playing with shit, then threw a bottle at me. I had to throw the dough away because it was full of broken glass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 494

You deserved it 87

By Anonymous - 03/02/2012 22:49 - United States

Today, trying to pocket a little extra cash for himself, my dad responded to multiple babysitting ads on Craigslist, accepting them all on my behalf. I despise children with all my heart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 096

You deserved it 8 824

By Anonymous - 12/03/2010 17:24 - United States

Today, I found out that after reuniting with an old boyfriend, getting close with his two year old son, and moving closer to him to properly be a part of their lives, he got back together with his ex-wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 431

You deserved it 6 234

Eventful day

By Anonymous - 30/07/2021 22:01 - Bahrain - Manama

Today, my boyfriend and I got into a fight after the gym. Then, a cheesecake I'd baked for a client cracked all the way through. Then, my oven broke as I was trying to make a new one, so I left to bake it at a friend's house, at which point I locked my keys and all of my supplies inside my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 120

You deserved it 144

Excuses, excuses

By TJ. - 17/10/2022 10:00

Today, I got dumped by my girlfriend. Why? She had been praying and came to the conclusion that God was telling her to leave so she could meet her soulmate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 944

You deserved it 135

Artwork

By willbo - 18/02/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, my roommate sent me a picture of his shit. I don’t know what’s worse, the caption saying “3 lbs” or the fact that it was all one gigantic piece. FML

I agree, your life sucks 451

You deserved it 91

By lynn777 - 04/04/2011 20:42 - Canada

Today, I was walking home through the slush and snow when a car drove by, soaking me with dirty water. Frustrated, I flipped him off. He then turned around and splashed me again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 308

You deserved it 22 357

Morning surprise

By Anonymous - 21/10/2022 04:00 - Canada - Thunder Bay

Today, I woke up and got ready for class. I let the dogs outside while I got ready, then brought them back in. As I was putting my shoes on, I felt something warm and mushy. One of my dogs had pooped in my shoe right as I was leaving. I missed the city bus and was late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 944

You deserved it 197

Snitch

By Sam - 23/10/2022 22:00

Today, my girlfriend trusted me enough to tell me that she's trans. I have no problem with this, the problem is my sister overheard her. She ran and told our parents, who are also our landlords, so now either I dump the woman I love or we'll both be homeless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 191

You deserved it 330

No kidding

By Anonymous - 23/02/2024 15:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I told my mom that having watched my sister ruin her life having kids who grew into brats with criminal records before their teens, I refused to ruin my life the same way and will be childless. I then turned to leave and they were in the doorway, my sister and her two brats. I got slapped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 668

You deserved it 415

The golden child

By Anonymous - 27/08/2025 03:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to use my mum's laptop so she told me the password was just my sister's name. I hit a wrong key and misspelled it, so the incorrect password prompt came on screen. The prompt was: "Favourite child?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 499

You deserved it 91

Flip your wig

By Anonymous - 25/10/2022 12:00 - Philippines

Today, my father verbally abused me for visiting my sick maternal grandfather, saying I lack common sense and intellect. He was angry that my cousin, who was the driver for the day, had her time wasted, despite the fact that my cousin planned to be with me the whole day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 840

You deserved it 109

By Anonymous - 23/08/2009 04:38 - United States

Today, while laying in bed trying to go to sleep, I listened to the chirping crickets and appreciated how soothing the sounds were. Then I realized I lived on the 8th floor of an apartment building. Turns out my brother's science project got into my room and multiplied... a lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 508

You deserved it 2 280

Bustin' makes me feel good

By Billie - 03/09/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, after years of my husband letting himself go and our sex life dying a slow, painful death, he's finally gotten my hints and started exercising and eating right, and he looks amazing. But now he has no sex drive and says, "I'm getting older, there are more important things to me than busting nuts all day!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 401

You deserved it 215

Mind your own beeswax

By Anonymous - 27/10/2022 00:00 - Australia

Today, a stranger at a bird show yelled at me for owning an "unnatural and irresponsibly bred" hybrid lorikeet. He's a rescue who was horribly abused in his last home. Fuck me for giving a shit about animals even if they're not pure I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 939

You deserved it 117

By Sarah - 01/01/2013 15:15 - United States

Today, instead of the traditional midnight kiss, my husband handed me divorce papers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 154

You deserved it 5 574

The Golden One

By Anonymous - 09/08/2021 06:01

Today, I asked my parents if I could borrow one of their three cars for the second time this year. They said no, suggesting that maybe I should consider buying my own car. This would be fair, if it wasn't for my sister borrowing their cars several times a week, without any disapproval. FML

I agree, your life sucks 991

You deserved it 135

Cooked

By Lonely - 07/09/2025 20:00 - Netherlands - Amsterdam

Today, desperate for some affection from my cold, frigid wife, I lied and said we had an attractive new girl joining our department. Without looking up, she said, "You guys can fuck, I don't care, just be discreet." Stick a fork in this marriage, it's done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 565

You deserved it 100

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The Top

Today, I went to get my first manicure. While waiting, I looked at the menu board. When I wondered aloud: "I know what a French manicure is, but what on Earth is a Polish change?" The whole place started laughing and I guess I'm not going back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 791

You deserved it 1 626

Today, my 92-year-old great-grandfather ran down the stairs in excitement, despite his severe arthritis. He told my great-grandmother that he was having the first erection in over 10 years, and grandma ordered me to leave so they could do it right there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 744

You deserved it 785

Today, it’s been 6 months at my job and I still can’t get used to the morning shift. Even with a changed diet, exercise, meditation, and no caffeine after noon, I'm averaging about 2 hours of sleep a night. My body will always choose sleep deprivation over falling asleep at a reasonable time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 028

You deserved it 153

Today, I was told how cruel and selfish I am for rubbing my weight loss in my mom’s face. I’ve literally begged my mom to walk, jog, workout with me for months. She went exactly once. She complained the whole time, then called me a bitch for finishing my run while she sat in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 180

You deserved it 131

Today, my aunts found grandpa's will, which left everything to me and nothing to them, and his lawyer confirmed on the phone this was definitely grandpa's wish. My entire family now hate me and think I manipulated him. My grandpa has hated me my entire life, so I think this is his way of punishing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 940

You deserved it 129

Today, as I hadn’t showered yet, I told my boyfriend not to go down on me in case it smelled "down there." We started kissing instead, but he made a "blech" face, then went down on me anyway. Apparently my morning breath was worse than unwashed crotch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 150

You deserved it 555