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But mah grandbabiiiiiiiiez

By Anonymous - 20/10/2021 02:00

Today, my mother found out that my fiancée broke up with her last boyfriend because she didn't want kids and he did. She's now demanding that I either change her mind, or call things off with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 948

You deserved it 127

Naughty boy

By At least they think he's cute - 25/05/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, I was in an online meeting when my cat decided to say hello. To do this, he walked in front of my screen, completely obscuring it in his fur. He then logged me out of the meeting by walking across the keyboard. Three times. Every time I tried to pick him up to make him stop, he got upset and attacked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 244

You deserved it 452

By fattie4life - 20/07/2009 22:33 - United States

Today, I was on the phone with my little sister as she explained that all these guys like her now that she's so skinny and beautiful. My mom must have overheard me tell my sister that at least I was a cuter child, because my mom laughed and said, "Yeah right, we had to buy you fat kid diapers." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 179

You deserved it 8 088

By Ulysse - 01/01/2009 19:09 - United Kingdom

Today, I have my new iPod Touch, and I'm walking down the street. Since it's really cold, I'm wearing gloves. At some point, I want to change the song, and don't want to remove my gloves. I try changing the song with my nose, for about 3 minutes, until I realize I look really stupid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 247

You deserved it 37 564

By Anonymous - 02/02/2015 17:38 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I thought I would treat myself to a shave and a haircut at a proper barber, instead of just a haircut at Supercuts. After many "Oops", "Sorry", even an "Oh dear", I left with no hair cut, and blood streaming from multiple slices in my face from the shave. I think one might need stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 943

You deserved it 3 254

Hypocrisy

By AfraidOfToxicity - 21/07/2020 02:02

Today, I had a friend quit every friend group we shared, all because I refused to show him favouritism in my D&D campaign, after I changed the rules to reduce favouritism between everyone, because he'd complained. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 454

You deserved it 176

A day in the life

By Anonymous - 19/01/2023 18:00

Today, I kicked my coffee table while barefoot, got an X-ray, and I’d cracked the bone. Got home, kicked the exact same table with the exact same toe, got another X-ray, the crack is now a full-on break. What a day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 478

You deserved it 979

By CreamGravy - 11/10/2013 03:50 - Australia

Today, for the first time in months, a woman started flirting with me. She was wearing a sparkly shirt with "Team Edward" written on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 792

You deserved it 4 927

CreamGravy tells us more.

CreamGravy 36

Friday 11 October 2013 17:20

My whole love life seems to just be one big FML doesn't it?

By BaldingQuick - 02/02/2010 07:34 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. This was after I saved several paychecks to afford to give her a weekend away for her birthday. Why did she end things so quick? Because apparently I'm balding faster than her Dad. I'm 20. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 589

You deserved it 2 668

By Lola - 20/12/2008 12:23 - France

Today, as I was pressed for time, I opened some canned food for dinner. When my children were served, they said, "Mmm, this is best meal you've ever cooked for us!" I cook healthy, balanced meals every day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 581

You deserved it 8 408

The betrayal!

By Anonymous - 27/01/2023 12:30 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend of 7 years left me for the woman I had previously expressed concerns about. I wouldn't feel so bad if he hadn't dumped me and then got with her not even two hours later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 970

You deserved it 171

By orilykid - 31/10/2012 17:23 - United States - Richmond

Today, I was cleaning out my roof's gutter, which was full of leaves. There was an especially big pile, and when I started scooping it up, I felt something squishy. Turns out those leaves were covering the remains of a rotting squirrel. I can't stop smelling it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 123

You deserved it 1 961

Girls gone wild

By Anonymous - 22/01/2023 15:00 - United States

Today, the only girl who seems semi-interested in me is my ex-girlfriend, who bails out every time we make plans to meet up. I deserve to be treated better, but better wants nothing to do with me. Genuinely kind girls tell I'm too short, or assume I have ulterior motives. I hate hookups and dating in your twenties. FML

I agree, your life sucks 759

You deserved it 274

By NoTalkAllGame - 27/01/2015 16:12 - United States - Horsham

Today, it's been five days since my roommate last talked to me. Although she's not communicating with me verbally, she's excelling at non-verbal communication: slamming doors and drawers, and watching loud videos, all while I desperately try to study. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 949

You deserved it 2 941

By Angrily Paranoid - 06/10/2013 05:29 - United States - Seattle

Today, my paranoia got so bad that I had to physically restrain myself from aggressively confronting the kid walking behind me on the sidewalk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 886

You deserved it 6 222

By Anonymous - 01/12/2011 07:00 - United States

Today, I turned 21. It's also the day I learned how it feels to have my foot and leg set on fire by a drunken idiot who thought it was a great idea to splash lighter fluid into an open-pit bonfire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 700

You deserved it 2 729

Yummy

By EwwwwYuck - 03/08/2020 02:02

Today, I set my parrot in the bathroom while I cleaned his cage, thinking he would be safe there. He was in fact safe, but not so the used maxi pad he chewed up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 094

You deserved it 366

Daddy's girl

By Anonymous - 07/11/2021 05:00 - Guam

Today, my girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me, a month after I'd proposed and she'd said yes. When asked why all of the sudden, she said her family disapproved of me, and I wasn't worth fighting for and potentially losing her father's love. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 539

You deserved it 148

Landlords gonna landlord

By Anonymous - 07/11/2021 17:00

Today, after a year of moving to a new country, getting our kids settled into the new education system, and our commutes sorted, our landlord notified us that he needs the house back for his son. There are no similar rentals or properties for sale in the region. We have to start over somewhere else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 282

You deserved it 123

Reality check

By Otome Fangirl - 02/02/2023 18:00 - United States - Highland

Today, I was watching a game play of an Otome (a female dating sim game), where the main character tells her love interest that, “Tasty food is the simplest and most tangible happiness” and “Good food drives away sadness.” I have been half starving myself for 6 months because of body image issues. FML

I agree, your life sucks 597

You deserved it 423

By Skier - 29/01/2010 02:01 - Canada

Today, I was skiing really fast and there was a sign saying 'Slow Down'. Feeling rather good about myself I decided to jump over the sign. Whilst jumping, however, I caught my ski tips on the sign and went face first into the ground. Hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 236

You deserved it 55 601

Thanks Outlook

By Buzz - 28/11/2008 05:35 - France

Today, I was doing a Power Point presentation to the management committee. Outlook Express was still open, and right in the middle of the presentation, a window popped up notifying me of a new message. "Subject: our reply to your application for the post of Marketing Manager." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 395

You deserved it 8 401

'tis the season!

By Bleh ;-; - 13/06/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, I'm going on three weeks of unexplainable and minor, but noticeable ailments. The doctor says it's just my seasonal allergies acting up a ton, which was somewhat comforting, but it just won't stop, even when I remain indoors. I'm otherwise a very healthy person, so I think I have a reason to be worried now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 359

You deserved it 110

By doggone - 14/07/2009 08:55 - United States

Today, I went to a pet store to adopt a dog. I got a medium sized lab, a dog crate, and a few toys, then put his crate in the back of my truck and the dog in his crate. On the way home I realized I forgot dog bowls and some dog food. I went back, and when I got back out to my truck, my dog was gone. My stereo too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 129

You deserved it 8 712

Wuss

By scaredy cat - 09/08/2020 14:02

Today, my boyfriend is completely obsessed with zombie and horror movies. I don’t care what he watches, the only problem is the big wuss has horrible thrashing nightmares. Last night he thrashed so hard, he elbowed me in the face. I have a big swollen purple knot right on my forehead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 591

You deserved it 190

Not like that

By Anonymous - 03/02/2023 22:00

Today, my boss told me to 'think outside the box'. I did and got lost in a corn maze for hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 275

You deserved it 632

By Maxime - 20/11/2008 10:19 - France

Today, after making love to my girlfriend, I realised that the phone was on the bed and because of the movements, it called my dad by itself. It went to voicemail. My dad will soon have all the details. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 959

You deserved it 9 869

Meddling

By Anonymous - 31/01/2023 12:30

Today, after telling my husband how excited I am to be going on a family trip without nieces/nephews because it meant our children will finally bond with each other, his mother took it upon herself to invite our nephew on our trip without asking us. I’m mad at her and my husband is mad at me for being mad at her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 941

You deserved it 144

By preggersmcgee - 22/10/2012 16:09 - United States - Nixa

Today, I finally found a cute dress that hugged my curves and hid my imperfections. I wore it to my friend's house, and was feeling pretty good about myself, until some pregnant woman walked into the room wearing the exact same thing. It was a maternity dress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 670

You deserved it 7 291

Waiting list blues

By Anonymous - 21/06/2024 16:00

Today, after two years of fighting, I finally got an appointment for my son to see an autism specialist. The appointment is in December 2026. He’ll be 11 and in high school by then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 460

You deserved it 105

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The Top

Today, I needed to pee at my friend's house. His bathroom door is often left closed even if there's no one in there, so I knocked just to make sure. His stepdad opened the door stark naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 005

You deserved it 2 810

Today, while getting pretty intimate with my newlywed wife in the car, a cop turned his lights on. As he was walking up, I was trying to get my pants back on but they wouldn't fit over my knees. The cop just laughed and walked away. Turns out my wife had my pants on and I was trying to put hers on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 373

You deserved it 7 876

Today, my brother offered my boyfriend $50 to dump me. Guess who's single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 190

You deserved it 3 194

Today, I got a parking ticket in the mail. I don't have a car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 848

You deserved it 3 264

Today, while babysitting, I brought over some colouring-in sheets as an activity. I said that I should bring some Christmas-themed ones for next time. The little girl then turned to me and said "If there is a next time." I've been put on probation by an 8-year-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 442

You deserved it 4 093

Today, my family got harassed yet again by kids coming over wanting to use our pool. Ever since my parents and I moved in, it's been happening every single day, and then people accuse my parents and hating children when they say no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 460

You deserved it 71