The Top

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Hormonal

By Anonymous - 31/03/2024 16:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my wife is experiencing feral pregnancy cravings. She is craving some sort of cookie that she used to eat as a child. That particular cookie company went out of business 20 years ago, so my wife is growling at me like I was personally responsible for them shutting down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 530

You deserved it 139

By richgirl - 25/02/2010 00:15 - United States

Today, I was doing takeout orders at the restaurant I work at. I spent a long while putting together this guy's $135.00 order. When he finally got there to pick it up, I told him to fill out the credit card slip. I looked at it after he left. He gave me a 40 cent tip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 189

You deserved it 4 578

By leez - 01/02/2009 10:43 - United States

Today, my roommate has gone home for the weekend. She forgot to turn her alarm clock off. Her door is locked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 104

You deserved it 1 846

Soaking

By Dumbass - 19/11/2022 06:00

Today, I went to change my socks after I stepped in a puddle of water. As I walked out of my bedroom with a fresh pair of socks, I stepped in the puddle again. Three times. That's four pairs of socks ruined. God, I'm such a dumbass sometimes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 204

You deserved it 1 170

Tell us more

By Anonymous - 01/04/2024 09:00

Today, my wife is very insistent that we try to get our boys more involved in her religion, starting with church tomorrow morning. She foolishly trusts our boys to behave. They really don’t want to go and I’m convinced they’re plotting something bad, like real bad, the devious little hooligans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 399

You deserved it 273

You must be joking

By Anonymous - 11/10/2025 22:00

Today, my friend is mad at me because I refused to be a bridesmaid since she’s getting married at a plantation. I asked if she’d get married at Auschwitz or somewhere else of great suffering. She called me a drama queen and blocked me. Sorry that I, a black woman, don’t wanna go to a plantation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 589

You deserved it 432

By Shoofly - 04/03/2011 22:54 - United States

Today, while at Subway, I looked on as an employee killed a fly with his hands. He then continued working without a second thought. He was making my sandwich. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 980

You deserved it 4 259

Time is of the essence

By N/A - 26/05/2020 02:00

Today, my job offer from a Fortune 500 company was canceled because of the coronavirus. This is the third time this year a job I passed interviews and tests for got canceled. I’m an international student who just graduated last week. I only have 90 days to find a job to stay in the US. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 843

You deserved it 215

And yet you have phone? Curious Andy

By Nostalgia - 08/09/2021 20:01

Today, I packed up to get ready to move to my boyfriend’s. I just graduated high school and I don’t get along with his mom, but I have no other choice of living. I was supposed to move in with his family tomorrow but now his mom won’t let me. It was last minute, and I’m basically homeless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 042

You deserved it 356

Waterworld

By Anonymous - 25/11/2022 18:00

Today, I went to the doctor with serious digestive issues, only to be told off the bat that I just need to drink more water. She wasn’t interested to hear that 1) I already drink the recommended daily amount and 2) drinking when I don’t feel like it fucks up my system even worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 808

You deserved it 131

**** you, Elon

By Anonymous - 07/09/2021 22:59 - Canada - Breslau

Today, my new electric car lied to me about its range, and the nine fast-charging stations I visited either didn't exist, were blocked off, broken, or not fast. We spent three hours sitting in the car in the rain waiting for the car to slow charge so we could make it home, and my wife is furious with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 903

You deserved it 827

Black Friday PTSD

By Dontgetpaidenough - 27/11/2022 10:00

Today, a customer attempted to buy 5 mini blenders from our Black Friday sale. Our policy is a max of 2 per customer. When I pointed this out, the customer had a meltdown, spat on me, and stormed off. I have to get up tomorrow at the buttcrack of dawn to deal with shit like this again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 007

You deserved it 99

Better out than in

By Anonymous - 27/11/2022 06:00

Today, I’ve had a blocked nose for weeks, so when I sneezed I partially dislodged a massive solid booger. It was so big and thick, I had to grab it and pull it the rest of the way out. I was on a first date at the time, and he left before I got back from the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 981

You deserved it 212

Needy

By Arnold - 21/10/2025 09:00

Today, my wife asked why I was so grumpy. I admitted that I was horny and sexually frustrated. She went on an hour long tirade about how I "shouldn't need sex to not be a jerk" and how I need to handle my own needs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 441

You deserved it 221

By mazzer - 04/01/2012 02:04 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad had a day off and was 'bored' so he decided to move our entire kitchen into our living room. We now have no running water, no oven that works and the entire house is a bombsite. He has an entire week off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 069

You deserved it 2 271

By Noname - 27/01/2009 19:42 - Ireland

Today, I found the family's pet hamster under my mattress, he's been missing for six months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 943

You deserved it 3 220

Fight club

By Anonymous - 12/04/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, my new wife kept taunting and goading my ex into a fight. Now, instead of an amicable co-parenting situation, I have multiple court dates and a child support order. My wife won’t apologize and my ex doesn’t want her around the kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 359

You deserved it 608

By kai - 27/01/2009 01:32 - United States

Today, the only guy who I ever thought liked me for my personality said he had something important to tell me. Later I got an e-mail from him saying he is "worried about me because I lack the skills to get along with other people." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 793

You deserved it 3 252

Unprofessional

By Anonymous - 25/10/2025 20:00

Today, I found out that my doctor got mad I was prescribed Suboxone. Why? He had me in patches and pills when I wanted neither. I found relief and he took it as an issue, but this morning he wrote, "I know you're a druggie" in my file. I've never touched street drugs, and the cherry on top was, "You homeless yet?" A DOCTOR. FML

I agree, your life sucks 484

You deserved it 88

Sir, this is a Wendy's

By Anonymous - 04/12/2022 06:00 - Australia

Today, I had a customer go on a 15-minute rant about how disgusting fat people are, and how they deserve it if they develop diabetes, gout, etc. Yes, I am fat. I eat well, I exercise, I've had a gastric balloon, I've been to weight loss retreats, dieticians, personal trainers, and yet I'm "gross." FML

I agree, your life sucks 954

You deserved it 299

By Anonymous - 12/11/2013 19:12 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend's ex moved into the apartment beneath us. She's already called the cops on us for a noise complaint twice. We were sleeping. It's going to be a long year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 597

You deserved it 2 770

Nice try, fed

By Anonymous - 21/09/2021 05:00 - Australia - Bankstown

Today, I was selling weed to a guy by text. He was using our code, saying, "Can I book a tutoring session at 6 o'clock?" I asked, "How many hours do you need?" He replied, "Three please." I said, "Sure." Then he said, "Just leave it in the blue Adidas again." FML

I agree, your life sucks 275

You deserved it 1 140

This is your brain under capitalism

By dean - 23/04/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, I'm an ectomorph who struggles to gain, let alone maintain weight. Our politicians made food so much more expensive in the last three years, I can no longer afford a consistent amount of protein and to fill my fridge with vegetables. I can barely afford to make balanced meals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 441

You deserved it 164

By blegh - 27/12/2011 21:50 - United Kingdom

Today, my 18-year-old son asked me if I was a virgin. I still don't know what to say to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 190

You deserved it 8 898

Road angst

By Fishypickles - 21/09/2021 10:59

Today, my anxiety and depression were so bad that when I went to the post office and failed three times to parallel park, I promptly burst into tears, apologized, and drove off when a very nice lady offered to help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 910

You deserved it 189

Gaslighting king

By AionHakim - 26/04/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, it's been six months since I started dating this guy. For the majority of the relationship he would accuse me left and right of lying, cheating, and more. After stressing me the fuck out to my breaking point, now six months later, he casually admits that it was all a ploy to control and use me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 552

You deserved it 188

On the ball

By angie24w - 19/06/2020 07:55

Today, after an emergency doctor told me to go to the pharmacy to get Zantac for possible stomach ulcers, I was told by the pharmacist that it was actually recalled a year ago. I had to pay almost double the price for another antacid. Thanks a lot for knowing your stuff, ER doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 373

You deserved it 205

Nice guy

By Anonymous - 23/09/2021 11:00

Today, I found out that I need a hysterectomy. When I told my boyfriend of 2 years, he broke up with me, because he didn't have time to "coddle my feelings". FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 228

You deserved it 111

Good morning

By JohnX - 25/09/2021 08:00

Today, I woke up early in the morning after sleeping 3 hours. Stepped into the kitchen and made myself a cup of coffee like usual. I was sipping my hot coffee while studying, until I noticed a small roach skeleton. I found 3 more in my coffee maker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 997

You deserved it 177

Self sabotage

By Anonymous - 27/04/2024 22:00 - United States - Normal

Today, I overslept and missed both of my morning classes. I was supposed to lead an instructional discussion in my communications class that was worth a lot of points. Now my grade has dropped from an A to an F. FML

I agree, your life sucks 157

You deserved it 584

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The Top

Today, my wife is treating me like I'm the devil, all because I refused to go on medication that would kill my sex drive, just so she wouldn't have to deal with me actually wanting to make love more than once a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 419

You deserved it 2 137

Today, my mother was trying to have yet another "helpful" conversation about how to fix my anxiety. My sister's insightful comment? "I think your problem is that you need to get laid." My mom agreed with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 695

You deserved it 4 237

Today, my parents decided to wake me up on my birthday. They flashed the lights and yanked off my bed sheets. I sleep naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 960

You deserved it 11 783

Today, I attended a speed dating evening. After 7 minutes, the girl told me she wasn't interested. I asked her at what point of the conversation she had made up her mind, she answered: "When you said 'Hello'. Goodbye". FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 308

You deserved it 2 467

Today, I got written up at work for not cleaning up the breakfast area, and because multiple guests complained how sloppy and messy it looked. I'm on lockdown in a completely different country. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 078

You deserved it 141

Today, my pregnant wife and I got separated while out shopping. She ended up having meltdown and crying so hard the manager had to call me over the PA. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 229

You deserved it 220