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Fall of Man

By Anonymous - 25/07/2022 22:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, my husband moved out while I was out of town. The only thing of his he left behind was a copy of Paradise Lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 930

You deserved it 147

Fright night

By Anonyme - 04/11/2023 12:00 - United Kingdom - Cheddleton

Today, I couldn’t sleep because the hall light was too bright. Someone left their room; I waited for them to return so we wouldn’t cross paths. I got up and went for the light, only to find them peeing naked with the door open. In a panic I flipped any switch, which made the hall brighter, then ran. FML

I agree, your life sucks 381

You deserved it 143

By just physical - 18/03/2013 02:45 - Canada - Sarnia

Today, in an attempt to break up with my boyfriend, I told him, "I don't feel a mental connection between us." His reply? "Why do we need a mental connection?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 404

You deserved it 10 387

Undercover

By Anonymous - 06/11/2023 21:00

Today, I was talking to this girl I really like at my work. Everything was going fine until our boss called me into his office. Apparently I was being a little too flirty with his daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 503

You deserved it 250

By hAHAha Halo - 02/08/2010 17:55 - United States

Today, my girlfriend's father offered her $10 to stop talking to me. I don't have a girlfriend anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 874

You deserved it 5 158

By Gutted. - 21/03/2009 23:04 - United Kingdom

Today, after a hard day's work and emotional argument with my best friend, I sent my boyfriend a text telling him how much I loved him and cherished him in the hopes he would cheer me up with a romantic reply. He said "Sorry, I've only got 8 texts left." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 344

You deserved it 6 792

Ay yo

By ay. - 04/08/2022 16:00

Today, I realized my lack of spatial awareness has hit a new low when it took me 15 tries to type the word “At” instead of “Ay.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 622

You deserved it 223

No kinkshaming

By FutureColombianTourist - 08/11/2023 04:00

Today, my girlfriend gave me a blow job as we watched a show about Pablo Escobar. This girl wouldn’t put out on my birthday, but Pablo killing a guy in jail gets her going. FML

I agree, your life sucks 395

You deserved it 212

By notmarriedyet - 01/10/2009 13:28 - United States

Today, it was my wedding day. Everything went great, except that no one showed up. Apparently, the address of the invitation was typed wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 825

You deserved it 16 984

Pros and cons

By Nope - 10/11/2023 12:00

Today, my girlfriend only gets horny on her period. Unfortunately, she also gets extremely gassy, so I get to smell her vile farts the entire time. I think this relationship is turning me asexual. FML

I agree, your life sucks 507

You deserved it 173

By corn - 03/06/2011 01:44 - United Kingdom

Today, whilst at my job as a lifeguard, a small child decided he couldn't hold it any longer and released his bowels in the pool. It was my job to clean up his dump, including the floating pieces of sweetcorn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 322

You deserved it 3 297

Hard no

By Anonymous - 18/05/2021 22:01

Today, not to be "that guy" but my wife quit her job from fear of COVID, we have no kids, so am I really unreasonable to expect that she might do SOME of the housework instead of none of it, and then asking me if I would mind doing the dishes and laundry as soon as I get home? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 619

You deserved it 126

You might as well know…

By Anonymous - 02/08/2022 06:00

Today, I was sending screenshots to my best friend about a guy who'd screwed me over. I sent the screenshots to him instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 251

You deserved it 955

By tryon777 - 29/07/2010 00:40 - United States

Today, my girlfriend begged me to stay up late and video chat with her because she missed me. Even though I work early mornings, I reluctantly agreed. After waiting up until 2am for her to get online, I gave up. She had fallen asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 354

You deserved it 5 102

Switching off

By IantoJones_fml - 24/07/2022 02:00

Today, our eleven year-old Chihuahua died in his sleep. Yesterday, the vet sent him home with us, saying he had mild congestion, and should be fine in a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 021

You deserved it 86

Wrap it up

By Anonymous - 17/11/2023 16:00 - Sweden - Linköping

Today, I found out that my boyfriend cheated on me by testing myself for STIs/STDs and got a positive result for chlamydia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 694

You deserved it 99

Bored

By Anonymous - 26/05/2021 02:01

Today, my wife asked me when will my sex drive just stop. I'm only 39. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 277

You deserved it 149

Bipartisan?

By jeweltonedsanity - 28/07/2022 06:00

Today, my boyfriend left me. He said he can’t be with someone who agrees with their parents politically. My parents are liberals, and I happen to have done my own independent research, and still agree with them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 888

You deserved it 353

By doesn't fuck on the first, thank god - 23/03/2014 20:25 - United Kingdom - Southend-on-sea

Today, my brother tried to pay me to teach him how to French-kiss, so he wouldn't screw up on his first date. I'm shocked that the weirdo managed to get a date in the first place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 563

You deserved it 4 569

Chewed up and spat out

By Anonymous - 26/05/2025 22:00

Today, I retired after 38 years. I went in expecting a proper goodbye, tears, and handshakes. I got none of that; they had me work like normal, then escorted me out after my shift because legally they had to make sure I’d definitely left the building. Not even a retirement card. FML

I agree, your life sucks 702

You deserved it 100

Alexa, play "Heat Wave" by Martha and the Vandellas

By Anonymous - 03/08/2022 02:00

Today, I checked my local weather forecast. The highs are supposed to be 85-94°F (29-35°C) for 9 of the next 10 days. It's been 95-102°F (35-39°C) for the past week. I have no air conditioning. I'm so tired of this heat! Fuck climate change! FML

I agree, your life sucks 791

You deserved it 363

Management mix up

By tiredandsad - 04/08/2022 10:00

Today, I woke up at 2 a.m. and stayed up the rest of the night. I had to go to work from 3 to 11 and I ended up getting my coworker to leave early. As I was getting ready to leave, I found out that I wasn't scheduled today and that I now have to work this Saturday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 619

You deserved it 423

Exit ramp

By Anonymous - 01/06/2025 12:00

Today, my wife dumped me because I have a non-operable brain tumour. It’s not going to kill me, just gives me intermittent symptoms resembling a stroke. She said she couldn’t handle being my carer and left. I don’t need a carer, sometimes I just need to sit until the symptoms go away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 682

You deserved it 66

Drama Llama

By are you fucking kidding me! - 18/08/2022 18:00

Today, I got guilt-tripped into going to eat with my parents and sister. My sister bit into a spicy pepper instead of a mild one, and thought the perfect response would be to shriek, moan, cry, and throw herself to the floor gagging. No she’s not allergic, she’s just a drama queen fishing for a free meal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 986

You deserved it 135

ADHD life hack

By Jet - 30/11/2023 19:00 - United States

Today, I tried a new productivity hack of setting multiple alarms to remind me of tasks. Instead, I spent the entire day in a cacophony of alarms, confusing myself to the point where I forgot what I was actually supposed to be doing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 209

You deserved it 588

A few moments later…

By Anonymous - 11/08/2022 02:00 - Canada - Garson

Today, I saw my first FML I published on Facebook. Everyone was bashing me, thinking that I was the problem and the cause for my ex-boyfriend wanting to do his own thing. I used to sit in his room being ignored for days straight while he gamed. Not once did I bitch about his gaming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 267

You deserved it 360

Baby come back

By chuchundra - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I got back from a two-week vacation. During my vacation, I had a friend from work watch my puppy. My puppy now likes him more than me, and won't stop whining sadly since he left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 013

You deserved it 8 110

Gullible's travels

By Anonymous - 21/08/2022 10:00

Today, after receiving messages from a person or persons who supposedly have a crush on me, I've come to the realization that it's probably been one guy messaging me all along. I'm not even gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 764

You deserved it 92

Get on with it

By Not PMS, she's just a mega bitch - 08/06/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, at my son's soccer game, I tried to give him a bottle of Gatorade, but the top was damp with condensation and I couldn't get a grip. I wiped it dry and tried again, successfully this time. No big deal, except my wife was watching and screamed, "IT SHOULDN'T TAKE THAT LONG!" Everyone stopped and stared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 471

You deserved it 82

By wrongplacewrongtime - 22/02/2013 06:12 - United States - San Antonio

Today, l took my new boyfriend to the place where my ex and I used to hook up, only to find out that my ex and his new girl had the same idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 909

You deserved it 58 308

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The Top

Today, I thought my wife and I would reconcile after being separated for eight months. We ended up sleeping together after a dinner date, but she told told me afterwards that she still wanted a divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 077

You deserved it 2 764

Today, I had a nightmare and woke up terrified, scaring my roommate. What was the dream? That I'd had a panic attack because my box of Honey Nut Cheerios was torn and the bag inside was improperly folded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 111

You deserved it 4 377

Today, my boyfriend posted a screenshot from a porno on my Facebook, because the girl in it looked freakishly similar to me. My dad commented, asking for a link to the video. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 185

You deserved it 4 529

Today, my driving instructor failed me on my test, because I forgot to turn the air conditioning off after parking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 224

You deserved it 5 898

Today, I was at a wedding. After videotaping the ceremony for a few minutes, my memory was full. I went to delete another video. I accidentally played the loudest video I had. No one was looking at the bride or groom anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 201

You deserved it 9 715

Today, I asked my roommate to spit in the toilet instead of the sink so I wouldn't have to touch it. When I rinsed the sink after brushing my teeth, he said, "Why would you touch the sink? It’s gross." FML

I agree, your life sucks 688

You deserved it 318