The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year The all-time greatest FMLs

Broke as ever

By PolarBear2020 - 04/10/2022 12:00

Today, I've been broke for so long that I felt a pang of envy when a character in a movie said that that they'd bought a tiny cup from a gift shop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 859

You deserved it 178

Friends

By justfriends - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. It's OK, though, she says we can still go on the vacation I planned next month for our 3 year anniversary, just "as friends." The tickets are non-refundable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 370

You deserved it 2 609

By Noname - 19/02/2009 16:24 - United States

Today, my boyfriend called me from a payphone because he lost his phone at the airport. When I texted his phone to get a response from someone who stole it [because it was still on whenever I called], I received a message back saying, "Love the pics. Send more ;]" FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 359

You deserved it 8 692

Check your head

By Anonymous - 30/03/2020 20:00

Today, I had a real coffee again after being sick for two weeks. It didn't taste so good, though. Just like the one I had yesterday. Well, I thought, maybe my taste has changed? Maybe I just need to get used to it again? No, it was just that the milk had gone bad three days ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 198

You deserved it 938

Sebummer

By ewwww - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I discovered that an unmentioned side effect of my new medication is body zits. I now have zits on my neck, my ear, and inside my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 889

You deserved it 3 465

Rural charm

By jlc82 - 17/02/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, the most exciting thing going on in my hometown is a that cow escaped its slaughterhouse transport, only to be put down by our highway patrol. He's got his own Facebook page and everything. Welcome to Ohio. FML

I agree, your life sucks 409

You deserved it 137

Libertarian dream

By Anonymous - 30/07/2021 11:01 - South Africa - Cape Town

Today, it's been 50 hours since our power outage began. The authorities don't seem to be bothered enough to fix the problem and are constantly making excuses for delays. Did I mention my warm water fish are dying from lack of heat, and it's my time off work? FML

I agree, your life sucks 909

You deserved it 99

By terrible person - 04/04/2011 09:29

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house to break down and cry because his mother hates me for unknown reasons. I walked in, gave him a long hug, and started sobbing. I then saw his mother. She was visiting him to complain about how terrible a person I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 168

You deserved it 6 005

By Anonymous - 07/01/2013 21:27 - United States - Foxboro

Today, my son volunteered to help me cut out coupons. When I got to the register at the store, I noticed he'd cut off all the barcodes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 196

You deserved it 7 971

Hush

By dinkley7 - 28/07/2021 18:01

Today, and like every day before it, my boyfriend’s snoring is keeping me up all night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 826

You deserved it 185

Meritocracy

By Anonymous - 24/02/2024 15:00 - Jamaica

Today, after six months of doing the job of 2 people, because all my coworker does is sleep and sit down with her phone, I told my boss that I can't be doing my coworker's job and getting the same salary as her. My boss added just $10 to my salary and told me to let her carry on doing nothing, while I still do the work of 2 people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 591

You deserved it 140

Insurance war

By Anonymous - 06/01/2013 10:01 - United States - Austin

Today, I came home to a flooded apartment and water still pouring from the ceiling. The woman who lives above me is shocked that I would consider her responsible for the damage and doesn't think she should have to pay for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 676

You deserved it 1 869

What's in a name?

By Oof - 27/02/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, I introduced my coworker to my friend's boyfriend. When I mentioned his name, she started crying. Apparently he has the same first name as her twin brother, who died shortly after birth, so that name has become a bit of a sore spot for her. I didn't even know she had a twin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 549

You deserved it 103

AAA, hello?

By JFC! - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was forced to look on in utter horror as an old lady backed out of her parking space, kept going well past the turning point, and slammed straight into my car, putting a dent in the front and shattering the headlights. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 114

You deserved it 3 160

Run away time!

By CreepedOut - 09/03/2010 06:31 - United States

Today, I walked into a subway car which was empty except for a sleeping hobo. Three stops later, the guy wakes up and starts peeing in the corner. I ignore it thinking he'll go back to sleep. Silly me, I didn't realize that he would start running towards me, still peeing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 092

You deserved it 2 824

Romantic fool

By Idiot - 22/08/2009 18:44 - United States

Today, while watching a movie with my girlfriend, I had to go to the bathroom. As I returned, I thought it would be cute to jump over the side of the couch and land next to her. I accidentally landed on her arm and broke her wrist. It wasn't as cute as I expected. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 834

You deserved it 38 872

Slimed

By Hashtagfail - 04/08/2021 10:01 - Netherlands

Today, I went outside to feed the hedgehogs who often visit my garden. It was late in the evening and dark outside. I was walking barefoot, when I suddenly stepped on something. It felt soft and splashed apart under my foot. I looked and realized that I had stepped on a slug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 676

You deserved it 362

Can't be arsed, to be honest

By whatamidoingwrong - 22/10/2022 16:00

Today, my boyfriend told me that he’s no longer interested in sex with me, as he just can't be bothered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 181

You deserved it 263

By what434 - 08/03/2010 13:19 - United States

Today, I learned that you don't put your diamond earrings on over your bathroom sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 295

You deserved it 44 579

By language barriers - 12/02/2009 07:07 - United States

Today, I was at the airport trying to help a man get to the right terminal. When he finished he turned to tell me "Don't worry, your English is pretty good, considering you're not American". English is my only language. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 256

You deserved it 5 219

Stones in glass houses

By alynna007 - 02/01/2013 10:31 - United States - Lakewood

Today, I overheard my mother telling my sister that she expects my marriage to fall apart any day now. Apparently, I have no concept of what "marriage" really means. My husband and I just celebrated our 7th anniversary, while my mother is planning her 5th wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 403

You deserved it 2 335

By Anonymous - 27/03/2011 18:41 - United States

Today, I realized I've been sinking into a deep depression, ignoring all my friends, and don't know what to do with my life anymore. This is all because I gave up Facebook for lent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 774

You deserved it 56 423

Daddy's little girl

By Anonymous - 08/08/2021 08:01 - Canada - Port Moody

Today, I found out my boyfriend of almost 10 years was/is a Sugar Daddy to a girl I know, for the past 7 months or so. I found out through a mutual friend.. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 055

You deserved it 111

What could've been…

By Anonymous - 05/03/2024 09:00 - United Kingdom - Portsmouth

Today, I randomly bumped into the girl of my dreams, my high school sweetheart whom I lost 15 years ago when my parents decided to emigrate us. I couldn’t help myself, I went up to her hoping the old spark was still there. She was just as sweet now as she was then, just heavily pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 579

You deserved it 194

By Sue - 26/03/2011 15:41 - United States

Today, I co-starred in a production of Hamlet. Halfway through play, the actor playing Hamlet forgot his lines, threw a raging temper tantrum, screaming about how much he hated the play and how he wanted to go home in front of hundreds of audience members. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 128

You deserved it 3 538

Walk out

By Anonymous - 10/08/2021 20:01

Today, I'd started dialysis and the cap at the end of my PD tube came off. It’s meant to stop infection, and it’s filled with betadine. I said I had to go to the office. My teacher wouldn’t let me, so I walked out of class. I got detention for trying to prevent getting a major infection. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 364

You deserved it 69

Keeping it in the family

By Anonymous - 30/10/2022 12:00

Today, I discovered that my husband's recent business trip to France was actually a filthy holiday in Blackpool with my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 266

You deserved it 103

Frozen

By ohno. - 19/08/2009 08:44 - Canada

Today, while washing the dishes at work I was told to go put some things into the big freezer at the back of the store. While doing so, the door closed behind me, so naturally I pushed it, only to have my wet hands freeze to the door. I yelled to my manager for 10 minutes before help came. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 502

You deserved it 5 714

Life's good

By Petergibbons - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I realized I'd rather be constipated, sick, sit in long traffic lines, and inadvertently eat spoiled meat than spend another day at my shitty job. All things that happened to me today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 341

You deserved it 2 935

By notpreggers - 08/02/2009 00:54 - United States

Today, the creepy skin care guy at the mall with the heavy accent asked me if I was pregnant. When I said no he replied "Oh, too many donuts then?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 748

You deserved it 7 939

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Photography Mysterious Neighbours Cute Relatable Family Love Intimacy NSFW Sex Mental health Ironic Embarrassing Haircut Money YouTube Wake up Messy DIY Awkward Cheating Kids Pregnancy Birthday Animals Cats Kittens Dogs Parenting

The Top

Today, my partner and I took his daughter to a museum. "I want to see the dead people!" is all she said the whole journey there. She's four. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 026

You deserved it 884

Today, while working at my new job at a surgery center, I noticed how odd it was that the room began to smell like fried chicken. I thought it smelt pretty good, until I learned it was actually the smell of someone getting their ear cauterized. I enjoyed the smell of someone's burning ear flesh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 263

You deserved it 1 769

Today, my extremely religious mom ranted at me, saying I'd only bought an electric toothbrush so I could masturbate with it. I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 410

You deserved it 2 301

Today, I wrote my boyfriend a poem, and left it on the bed with a rose for him to see after work. When I came home later, I noticed the flower in the trash, and the poem had been used as gum wrapper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 944

You deserved it 5 377

Today, our boss gave me and my team a final warning, because of a prank that one of my workmates played on him. It isn't the first time shit happens. The boss won't let us dispute it, either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 770

You deserved it 227

Today, I had to wake up my mother as the earthquake alarm rang in my country. This is the second quake in less than a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 942

You deserved it 176