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What did I do?

By Anonymous - 29/07/2023 00:02 - Australia - Sydney

Today, like every other day, my older sister hates me, and I have no idea why. She refuses to speak to me and has never provided me with a reason why. She gets along great with my younger sister though and I get to see them having fun together in Facebook posts all the time. I'm heartbroken and she doesn't care. FML

I agree, your life sucks 918

You deserved it 129

By gwengas - 30/07/2014 06:51 - France - Saint-ouen-des-alleux

Today, while out with my boyfriend, I gave a beggar some cash, who then smiled at me and said to my boyfriend, "You have a beautiful little lady, take good care of her." Flattered, I hoped my boyfriend would agree with the compliment. He turned and said, "Hear that? He said you were little." FML

I agree, your life sucks 465

You deserved it 42

Vampire mode

By Anonymous - 01/08/2023 10:00

Today, my doctor put me on a new medication that came with the warning to stay out of the sun. I live in the desert and my country is having the highest temperatures recorded ever in human history. Guess I should stock up on white, long sleeve shirts. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 733

You deserved it 140

By SydIsPrettyCool - 04/08/2011 05:44 - United States

Today, my pet fish died because my drunk father microwaved it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 171

You deserved it 3 400

Haute cuisine

By youwouldbeacat - 28/04/2009 02:38 - United States

Today, I was making a nacho and grabbed some refried beans that were in a plastic container out of the fridge and put them on top of the chips. After I’m completely done eating my mom looks in the fridge and asked me if I knew where the cat food was. I just ate a small can of cat food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 754

You deserved it 53 605

Get out

By hackshack - 08/06/2012 19:45 - Brazil - Porto Alegre

Today, my English teacher kicked me out of class for being "rude and disruptive." In actuality, I had called her out for having blatantly used Google Translate for several example sentences, all of which sounded as if a semi-literate foreigner had constructed them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 518

You deserved it 3 946

By Username - 08/10/2010 10:53 - France

Today, I was making my bed, which would normally be a simple task, until I leaned into the wooden foot of my bed, and put my entire body weight on my left nut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 286

You deserved it 10 480

By Miserable - 11/11/2009 07:06 - United States

Today, I did laundry in my apartment complex's laundry room. I put my stuff in the dryer and returned to my room. The sign on the door says the laundry room closes at 10 pm, but that's rarely true. Tonight it was. I have to wait until 8 am. I work at 7:30. My work clothes are in there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 644

You deserved it 41 159

By Anonymous - 27/04/2009 06:24 - United States

Today, I was pulled over by a police officer for speeding. After writing the ticket, he asked me why I was wearing a surgical mask. I told him that swine flu was found in our area and I was scared. He thought that I was insulting him and wrote me another ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 337

You deserved it 16 704

By teegtwo - 22/07/2014 05:55 - United States

Today, my boyfriend said we can't have sex with the light on anymore. He said he can never finish because the face I make when I orgasm makes him laugh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 055

You deserved it 27 010

Make it stop

By ughhhh - 10/11/2009 17:04 - United States

Today, my roommate's boyfriend told me he would be driving the several hours EVERY weekend to come see his girlfriend. As a couple, they are constantly all over each other, and can't seem to break out of the annoying baby talk voice. Plus, they like to kick me out of the room to do stuff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 417

You deserved it 5 766

Great start to the day

By Anonymous - 27/02/2021 02:01

Today, I had to catch a bus to work, as my car had to be taken in yesterday. The bad drivers always upset my stomach with their instant stop/start driving style. I felt a burp coming on, but it turned out to be projectile vomit that filled my mask right up and poured down my shirt and pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 251

You deserved it 220

Ah, push it! Push it real good!

By Jeff99 - 12/01/2025 03:00 - United States - Baltimore

Today, I walked into a "pull" door after confidently telling someone, "It's this way, I know this place like the back of my hand." The sound of my forehead hitting the glass kinda proved otherwise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 112

You deserved it 509

Roommates from hell

By Failure - 09/11/2009 22:13 - United States

Today, I was taking a final test online that would account for 65% of my final grade, for which I'd worked extremely hard. I had one submission for the test, and my roommate thought it would be funny to click the "Submit All" Button while I was getting a glass of water. I got a 13%. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 274

You deserved it 3 511

By ifpigsflew - 04/10/2010 23:31 - New Zealand

Today, I got hit by a Salami log thrown from a car; its metal wire cut my shoulder. I got scarred by a flying hunk of pig. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 213

You deserved it 2 781

It doesn't exist

By getafucktoysomewhereelsedude - 16/05/2013 20:31 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I had to listen to yet another delusional fuckface at school bitch about how a girl he's interested in put him in the "friendzone". I really couldn't focus on my work, so I tried to shut him up by saying he's an idiot, not least because she already has a boyfriend. I now have a black eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 431

You deserved it 17 344

By Anonymous - 03/10/2010 18:52 - United States

Today, I found out that instead of having four wisdom teeth, I have eight. They all have to be removed as soon as possible, which happens to be over the Christmas break. I get to spend my whole vacation in excruciating pain and a swollen face to boot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 843

You deserved it 3 279

Dad pranks '09

By PISSED - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Germany

Today, I finally got a date with one of the hottest girls in school, a perfect 10. Just before I go to pick her up to go to the movies, I called her to find out where she lives. She answered the phone, only to hear my father yelling in the background, "STOP TALKING TO THAT WHORE." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 690

You deserved it 5 313

Bored senseless

By Anonymous - 01/10/2010 16:55 - United States

Today, I started my first day of work. I was told to absorb everything going on and to get used to the high-paced flow of things. I've been sitting at my desk for two hours now, and the office has been empty since I've walked in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 334

You deserved it 2 994

By no luck - 30/09/2010 17:14 - United States

Today, I found out less than three weeks before my wedding that my fiancé will lose his new, great paying job, unless we cancel our nonrefundable honeymoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 163

You deserved it 3 615

By sadparty - 06/11/2009 06:05 - United States

Today, I suffered a mental breakdown. I told my roommates about it, and they decided to throw a very loud party while I was sobbing in my room, unable to sleep. My Xanax prescription ran out, I have no more sick days, and I have to wake up in two hours to work a ten hour day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 161

You deserved it 7 535

By Ella - 29/05/2012 05:14 - United States

Today, I went on a 7-hour plane flight. For 3 hours I had a bloody nose. When it finally stopped, I sneezed. It started to bleed again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 557

You deserved it 2 124

By Anonymous - 22/07/2011 06:29 - United States

Today, I asked the girl I like to send me "yummy pictures." I got a picture of cheesecake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 930

You deserved it 106 342

By secondchild - 12/07/2019 14:00

Today, my parents spent more time, money, and effort on my boyfriend's birthday present than they ever have on any of mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 584

You deserved it 195

What's going on?

By Anonymous - 31/01/2025 09:00 - United States - Miami

Today, I wanted to surprise my girlfriend by cleaning the entire house while she was at work. I even lit incense to make it extra special. When she came home, she walked in, sniffed, and immediately accused me of "cheating or something" because "only guilt makes you clean this much." She also blamed me for adding more dust by burning incense. FML

I agree, your life sucks 602

You deserved it 97

Definitely maybe

By Anonymous - 05/06/2022 00:00

Today, my marriage is more or less over, as my wife is so career-obsessed that when I asked if we could spend some time together, she rolled her eyes and gave me permission to sleep with other women, since sex is all I think about. I didn’t ask for sex, just time together. Definitely over I think. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 038

You deserved it 202

Nice timing, Shitgibbon

By Heartbroken and shocked - 25/08/2023 00:02

Today, on the first day of school, my husband decided it was the perfect time to announce that he’s leaving because he’s seeing another woman. He already had his suitcase packed, and vanished. Now I have to take my kids to school, crying over their dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 022

You deserved it 106

Denied

By Anonymous - 02/02/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I woke up with a raging hard on. My wife, who was also awake, felt it when I pressed against her. She said, "No thank you," got up, and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 522

You deserved it 205

By Anonymous - 07/05/2013 12:48 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, it's my birthday. I worked late, so I was looking forward to spending a quiet evening with my husband. When he suggested we go grocery shopping, I got excited thinking he had organized a surprise party or something. He actually just took me grocery shopping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 203

You deserved it 9 702

Dude, gross

By emliv12 - 25/05/2012 07:07 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, my grandmother told me my favorite top had a permanent smell of BO, despite my constant deodorant use. I wear the top to work just about every shift. I now realize all the weird little comments my coworkers have made are actually hints to go take a shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 707

You deserved it 28 772

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The Top

Today, I found the courage to tell my parents about my boyfriend. They simply reacted by lecturing me about how much he'll ruin my life, and how much they don't like him. They haven't met him yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 762

You deserved it 2 693

Today, the kid who who lives next door and shares a bedroom wall with me got a drum set for Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 000

You deserved it 2 847

Today, I heard someone calling my name. It was my neighbor. Turns out they named their dogs after my mother, my sister, and me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 858

You deserved it 3 541

Today, I went back home. My drunk mother was screaming at my drunk step-dad about a fight that happened four years ago. My little sister was looking in the mirror practicing her "orgasm face", while the neighbors were dancing outside, coked out and naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86 273

You deserved it 5 393

Today, my dad asked me to help him buy a laptop by searching online. He explicitly said, "When you have time." I decided to shower as I had just woken up. While showering, I was startled by loud banging and my dad angrily asking why I wasn't looking for his laptop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 774

You deserved it 153

Today, we discovered that our 14 year-old son is having sex. I was mad as hell at him, but by the end his dad completely took over the conversation, congratulated the hell out of him, and gave him money for condoms. If I wasn’t there, I genuinely think he would’ve asked our son for tips on infidelity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 687

You deserved it 941