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By Nate - 06/03/2009 03:25 - United States

Today, we watched a movie in class. Afterwards, the professor asked us what we thought. I raised my hand and said it was pretentious, dull and a really poor example of filmmaking. It was the movie HE spent five years writing and directing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 571

You deserved it 52 679

By maggu - 11/02/2013 04:26 - Denmark

Today, my mom started referring to me as "The Bitch". When I asked her why, she said that I have always been a bitch, but I was never old enough for her to actually call me a bitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 220

You deserved it 7 430

Priorities

By sunlightchild_14 - 13/09/2009 07:04 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend of 2 years that I was pregnant. His response? "That's neat. But we can still have sex, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 351

You deserved it 5 118

By sonnyrosa - 09/02/2013 12:39 - Canada - Dartmouth

Today, I had to drive to my workplace in blizzard conditions. Now that my 12 hour shift is over, I can't get out of the building, as the snow has blown into large drifts in front of the doors. I have to stay overnight until my next 12 hour shift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 799

You deserved it 2 626

sonnyrosa tells us more.

sonnyrosa 32

Saturday 9 February 2013 18:20

I'm sure there are labor laws that are supposed to prevent stuff like this, but when the roads are closed, and no one can get in (even the buses have stopped running, and a lot of people reply on those to get to work), there's nothing that can be done. I'm stuck here, but I'm getting paid for it... hopefully, this snow crap stops before tomorrow morning, otherwise, I'll be stuck again. It's still coming down like mad :S

Scratchy

By Lice FML - 25/06/2021 06:01 - United States

Today, my kids and I discovered the party hats from the party we just went to were infested with lice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 049

You deserved it 105

By mandygeegoesnom - 29/02/2012 05:30 - United States

Today, while waiting for my boyfriend to get out of the shower, I chatted with his grandma. As soon as we hear him exit the restroom, she smirks at me and lets a huge, smelly fart out. She blamed it on me. My boyfriend believed her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 177

You deserved it 2 541

By livin - 11/09/2009 06:10 - United States

Today, I found out that on Wednesday, when I have 2 exams, I'm called to testify in court. If I go to court, I cannot make the exams. If I take the exams, I'll be held in contempt and arrested. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 207

You deserved it 5 938

Sweet home…

By Redneck - 07/09/2022 07:30

Today, my coworkers won't believe I'm from Alabama. Apparently, "You're too smart and not racist enough… plus you have all your teeth, and you're not dating your cousin." Fuck these people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 072

You deserved it 331

By sadchick - 09/09/2009 22:53 - United States

Today, my mom found a new favorite game. I recently broke up with my boyfriend of a year and still have not been able to find a job (months after graduating college). Due to this stress I cry easily, her game? Seeing how many times a day she can make me boo-hoo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 717

You deserved it 8 815

By sprocket - 28/02/2009 18:55 - Hong Kong

Today, I jokingly asked my boyfriend of one year, "Why is someone as smart, funny and as handsome as you with someone like me?" He replied, "Opposites attract." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 108

You deserved it 28 986

Customer relationships

By UnemployedGirl - 02/07/2021 19:59

Today, I assisted a customer at work. She was asking me all sorts of stupid questions and acting like an entitled, spoiled brat. When she left, since I had a mask on, I meant to mouth, "Stupid bitch" but I blurted it out loud. Everyone heard. I was fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 326

You deserved it 1 645

By fuckedbyretail - 02/02/2013 14:53 - United States - Charlotte

Today, at my retail job, a woman came to my till with her purchases. After I scanned all her items, she handed me two small bags. One was filled with nickels and dimes. The other was filled with cents. Her total was $28.53. The coins amounted to $22.30. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 591

You deserved it 2 762

By comet5002 - 09/09/2009 04:15 - United States

Today, I played a goth character in my friend's student film with goth clothes, lip ring, eyeliner, etc. We went into Starbucks at break and an elderly man came up to me and said "Your kind is the reason for all the bad stuff in this world" and then spat in my $5 drink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 865

You deserved it 5 483

Annoying internal jukebox

By Anonymous - 05/07/2021 04:00

Today, I can remember enough of a song for it to be stuck in my head, but not enough of it to help me identify the song. FML

I agree, your life sucks 907

You deserved it 145

By Anonymous - 08/09/2009 14:04 - United States

Today, I was sitting with my boyfriend watching the Super Nanny. He watches the show regularly and said he has learned some of her techniques. Apparently, he uses them on me when I'm acting irrational. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 964

You deserved it 47 590

By greasyhair - 07/09/2009 20:25 - United States

Today, I finally figured out why my 5 year-old daughter washes her hair every day. It's because she doesn't want to have "yucky greasy hair like her mommy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 969

You deserved it 47 400

By neverdatingacopagain - 25/04/2011 04:24 - United States

Today, I woke up to find a parking ticket on my car. My car was in my driveway and the cop who wrote it is my ex-boyfriend. This is the third time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 015

You deserved it 6 725

Home movies

By Ex-girlfried - 06/09/2009 23:15 - United States

Today, my girlfriend's family came over and I thought it would be fun to watch old family videos of when I was a kid. A few minutes into my fifth birthday party, I excused myself and went to grab some snacks for everyone. I returned to realize I had recorded porn over my family videos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 697

You deserved it 69 055

Systemic

By Anonymous - 10/07/2021 04:00

Today my 98-year-old grandad has Alzheimer’s and seems to think I’m his senior officer from his first years as a police officer. Apparently a lot of illegal shit went on in those days, when cops were bigger crooks than the actual criminals were. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 300

You deserved it 139

Revenge will be sweet

By Kitty at my foot - 20/09/2022 20:00 - United States

Today, I accidentally stepped on my cat's paw and she let out a deafening screech of pain. After treating her like a queen for the rest of the day as an apology, I accidentally kicked her in the dark, sending her flying up against the wall. I feel as though I should sleep with one eye open tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 879

You deserved it 453

By Anonymous - 05/09/2009 07:22 - United States

Today, while I was at the beach I decided to go into the ocean even though the waves looked rough. While I was in the water, I got caught by the riptide and needed to be saved. The reason I was at the beach? I'm a lifeguard. Now all my co-workers won't stop laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 129

You deserved it 18 106

By shilpajayseanfan - 24/02/2009 13:43 - Canada

Today, I drove into my school. Literally drove into my school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 266

You deserved it 54 640

By 97 - 17/02/2012 21:10 - United States

Today, I was so broke and hungry that I went to Olive Garden and faked being stood up, just so I could eat their breadsticks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 166

You deserved it 6 209

By loserface - 23/02/2009 22:50 - United States

Today, I was interviewing a cute guy for my journalism class, and he asked to borrow my laptop to check his email quickly. After the interview, I realized that the last thing I had searched for on my browser's Google box was "ingrown pubic hairs," and it was still up there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 275

You deserved it 36 691

With friends like these…

By MaySheRestinPeace - 06/03/2020 15:00

Today, a friend asked me to cover his shift at work because his grandmother died. Like any decent friend, I obliged. Later, after leaving, I walked by a bar and saw him inside, laughing and doing shots with all of our friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 195

You deserved it 166

By robbed - 03/09/2009 19:09 - United States

Today, I was walking through my house when I saw a strange man sitting on my couch. I asked him who he was and he said he was a friend of my mom's. He told me to join him and when I sat down, he punched me in the face and stole my cell phone, wallet, and car keys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 331

You deserved it 24 364

By Kaddiscott - 20/01/2014 10:12 - Italy - Marco

Today, I was in a market in France, and went to ask the seller for some potatoes. I speak fluent French, but I got flustered and instead of saying "pomme de terre", which is the French for potato, I said "pomme de merde". I literally asked for an "apple of shit". FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 694

You deserved it 8 147

Kaddiscott tells us more.

Kaddiscott 11

Monday 20 January 2014 23:29

Hi guys, OP here. I speak fluent french, I just had a little blunder. This was actually like a few months ago when I was on France on holiday, and yeah the seller gave me a funny look and we had a giggle, but then I said, ooops and that I meant to say potato. It was soooo embarrassing, my parents never let me live it down FML hahahah